huge dilemma - mature student go on to uni or give up?

Kay_Peel

Is there a possibility that your student advisor feels that he has to do something drastic before you speak to him? Let's think about it from his point of view.
He has a student who (possibly)

• looks bored and unchallenged during some lectures
• fails to turn up for some reason
• has ambitions to go further in higher education
• appears to be flagging or losing interest
• won't communicate with anyone.

What's he to do? Ignore it? Send a letter inviting the student to speak to him? Or send a bombshell that will spur the student into action immediately?

The bombshell has had the desired effect. It has concentrated your mind on the dilemmas facing you. It has brought to a head all those niggling doubts about the suitability of the course for a person of your age, learning style and temperament.

I was in a similar position to you but I was a mature student on a degree course. I passed the time of day with younger students and had a coffee with them, but when lectures and tutorials were over I headed for the door. Even when I went on short work-related courses later in life, I preferred to go back to my room rather than hang out. I really, really hated having to work on team projects because I was a loner who liked to do and think things out by myself.

An OU course confirmed that lone study was the ideal environment for me.

But here's another idea: have you thought about taking a degree or diploma course that has a higher proportion of mature students? As an example, you won't find many youngsters studying mental health nursing or social work or Teaching English as a Foreign language. (I'm not saying that those courses are right for you, just giving examples!).

Good luck with finding a way through your plight. It may help you to reach out to your student advisor and talk frankly about that plight as soon as you possibly can.

GotToChange

PS - not to make this all about me or anything.... (promise)....

In some sense, you might be conisdered "lucky" that he is taking an interest - albeit in some hardhanded way. I had a place on a Science Access course to start last September - but had a crisis of confidence on Day One (connected in no small part with my age, money worries blah blah). It wasn't helped at all by my bloody Father crawling out of the woodwork after 10 years - but that's another (discussed at length on here) story; a rotten email landed with me the very morning of Day One. I panicked and stayed home -trying to gather my reserves of strength for Day Two - which I knew to be a visit to the University (not my first choice) to research degree courses (Radiotherapy was my plan at that Uni but had also considered Dietetics miles and miles away from "home"). I got a call in the afternoon from a chap who had absolutely NOTHING to do with the course and made light of it with him - BIG mistake. He told me that the Course Leader would call me back. She didn't - and instead wrote to me throwing me off the course.

I now attend the College one evening a week for another lower level science class - and I hate the College, struggle to like the Tutor (who admits he wishes he hadn't "done" Science [very motivating] and is about 20 years younger than me), get sideways glances from every other student if I open my mouth (only to be told that there is no such thing as the lymphatic system.... ???) and am frequently asked why I am there at all. I occasionally see the Access Course Leader in passing and she can't look me in the eye (I did take it to a higher level and was fobbed off by the Head of Faculty *sigh*). My entire future plan was ruined that one day. And I AM too old to attempt it again this year (plus have all the above issues with the College).

What I am saying - in my round about way is - STICK WITH IT Alyth.

x

onlyroz

I taught a maths course for mature students at Birkbeck College a few years back, and the rule there was that you had to attend 7 out of the 10 lectures. When I tried to impose this rule my boss asked me what on earth I was doing failing the students. But, but, but, the rules say that attendance must be 70%, I wailed. Oh no, she said, they're more just guidelines.

So I doubt you can be kicked off a course for missing two lectures. Go and see someone higher up the chain of command, if you feel that the lecturer himself is not approachable.

Errata

I agree with Ailuro2 - find an excuse, any excuse, to cover your absence. Menopause stuff, migraine, dodgy bloke has been seen in your area again, whatevere. But lay it on thick.
Next step - go to all your classes, even the ones that almost send you into a coma (been there, got the T-shirt).
Next step - you're in the middle of highers - this is no time to make a life changing decision. As Spirit suggests, wait for your results and base your decsion on them.
Sorry to read you and some others are having a tough time with lecturer. Look on it as a positive, not a negative. If you plan to work in the public sector you'll come across a great many a-holes , so meeting one this early is good practice in how to deal with them.
Hope it all works out for you, and best wishes

alyth

Is there a possibility that your student advisor feels that he has to do something drastic before you speak to him? Let's think about it from his point of view.
He has a student who (possibly)

• looks bored and unchallenged during some lectures
• fails to turn up for some reason
• has ambitions to go further in higher education
• appears to be flagging or losing interest
• won't communicate with anyone.

Wow, thank you for your support and fantatic help - I didn't sleep very well last night and have just come back from a long walk and feel slightly better.

I wanted to deal with the specific points raised above - in no way can I be classed as looking bored or unenthusiastic - I love my studying, I love attending classes, I always ask for clarification if I don't understand things and do take part in group discussions.

Gottochange, thank you so much for posting your experience. Perhaps I am having a huge wobble in the middle of my exams, the first higher I sat I breezed through, I study obsessively but I enjoy my studying so it's not a chore for me.

You've all given me things to think about which I will do today at work, thanks for your support, I really do appeciate your posts.

GEEGEE8

I love my studying, I love attending classes

There's your answer!

pollypenny

This guy is pushing his luck and it is important that you do not let him get away with it.

Keep his e-mail in case you need to enlist one of his superiors, as he seems to be bullying you. However, go and see him and give him any old sob story to stay on the course to finish your Highers. You will then be in a good position to make a decision on your next move.

I was a mature student, beginning my degree at 31. We mature students were by far the most conscientious, with the younger ones skiving lectures regularly.

Oldernotwiser

Unfortunately some academic staff have a problem with mature students, particularly those who are confident learners and don't hang on their every word. I'm appalled that you've come across one of these on an Access course! I would try to have a word with your personal tutor or course tutor and explain my position and see what they say.

Personally I would do the degree at the good university rather than at the college where you are now. If it's anything like the situation in England, colleges which offer courses in conjunction with universities often don't have good resources, suitable staff or a particularly high calibre of students. You run the risk of being bored silly and getting a degree which isn't worth your time and effort.

Bonnie2009

I'm a college lecturer - I teach Access and A levels. There is no way in this world that he will take you off the course, because he would have to answer to senior management as to why he did it. Even if we know at this time in the year that someone will fail their A levels, they still have to stay at college - not for their sake, but because we have to hand the government back all funding for that student for the year.

If I were you, I would change my email address, so that he just can't contact you anyway. Create a new address, send a group email to everyone but him, then close the account. When he tries to email you again, it will bounce back. He's then forced to speak to you personally.

Either go to see student services or go to see his manager. Explain your concerns and explain your career plans and that you feel this lecturer is affecting your chances of success. It's very likely that there are problems every year with this man - it's extremely unlikely you're the first person he's picked on over the years.

If the student services or manager can't help (very, very unlikely), go directly to the principal of the college and explain again. The principal will go beserk at the thought of you being in that situation. Only do this as a last resort though.

Good luck and don't let him beat you on this.

Bonnie2009

Oh and I agree with OlderNotWiser here - go to the best university you can.