huge dilemma - mature student go on to uni or give up?

alyth

I'm kind of stuck here, so wondered whether anyone could give me any advice on their own experiences, or even point me in the right direction? It is kind of money saving as I will need to take out lots of debt if I decide to go to uni!

I'm a mature student - nearly 40 on an access course studying highers in Scotland. I've a place to stay at the college I am at which is affiliated to a uni to study history and politics. My work history is patchy, due to ex moving about all over the world, so I've temped as a PA, I currently work part time in a shop which I love but it's not enough hours to cover my rent. I've a fairly decent settlement but if I go to uni I will spend most of it.

I'm a really quiet person - very introverted, I have a few friends at college, but I prefer to go in for my classes and then leave again - for sure I go for coffee, but my friends know what I am like. I'm in the middle of my Highers, one down three to go, and I've had a couple of wobbles as to whether I am doing the right thing so skipped two classes in two weeks - first time ever.

My student advisor is also my lecturer for two highers, he's a couple of years younger than me but stirs things up amongst classes - us older students have noticed this so tend to back off from him. I've received tonight an email from him saying that because I am not taking part in the course as such he's threatening to pull me out of the access course at this late stage, last higher in four weeks time, and rescind my unconditional offer based on two years of OU study at the college/uni.

I am having a huge panic. Should I try and get a job and return to OU study, should I continue with my highers and stay at the college/uni and do my degree. I knocked back a conditional offer from a really good uni in favour of staying where I am, should I contact them and see if I can get my conditional back -and then frantically study to get the grades they require?I study all the time, I have nothing else in my life so I should be able to meet their criteria.

I'm not a sociable person, I love my own company, and it's hard for me sharing classes with 18 year old kids but I'm respected and have always got on well - but at this stage, in the middle of exams, I can't cope with sitting in a classroom for two hours on a Friday listening to exam technique skills, which is the class I don't attend.

Apologies for the long thread, I am seriously worried now that when I go to college on Tuesday I will be pulled off my course.

Has anyone been in a similar situation that can offer any advice?

GEEGEE8

Surely he can't pull you off for missing two weeks? Say you were ill or that you have been behind and dare not say anything..

I would stick with it, I think it will be a big regret if you don't.

Doesn't matter if you are introvert, it's not a social meeting, you are learning..

elfen

They can't pull you off it for missing two weeks, he's overreacting.

I'm 27 and started uni last September. I went to college before to finish my A levels and do a BTEC, so was with 16-19 year olds. It is very different when you go to uni, there are all age ranges (I'm one of the oldest, only a little younger than my lecturers!) and it does help, as you're more organised and able to work independently (and not get stuck in the pub as many students do)

Can you tough it out going to the revision sessions just until you've finished your Highers; I know my lecturers at uni gave me little hassle when I didn't go to revision lectures, as I'd usually already done the work or arranged otherwise.

[Deleted User]

I suggest u go to this tutor and speak to him and explain as a mature student u don't see the need to attend these classes. Obviously listen to why he says u need to go, if he does.., but try and persuade him u don't need this tuition. If he is not prepared to listen, go to the head of department or the head of the college and explain again.

Most colleges will respect the fact that as a mature student your needs may differ to those of the younger majority. I went to college at 26, finished when I was 29 and did well enough to go to a very good Uni, and did my degree.

One word of warning tho. I burned myself out. I did get a 2:2 in the end, but I could have done a lot better if I had done more than just study (and because of tiredness my studying techniques were not the best). U DO need to socialise, with friends from outside uni as well as inside uni/college. I'd do it very differently if i could do it again.

Don't give up.., what u are doing is important to you.., remember why u started studying, u knew it would mean sacrifices. I am sure u can work part time while studying or during the hols (its how I paid my overdraft off each year but i did spend money very very carefully and my food was unmentionable lol).

Please post and let us know how u get on.

alyth

I've just come off the phone to a friend and am slightly calmer! Thank you for your replies. part of the problem with this course is that the highers are timetabled for 12 hours, but the course is scheduled for 20 hours, so it is padded out with things like PDP, working with others, that sort of thing.

He can pull me off the course I think - he can fail me for missing three lectures in nine months (almost). I think it is like a game that he is playing, I received an email from him two weeks ago saying that he had heard that I was regretting staying at the college. Last year a few parents complained about his style of lecturing and tutorials.

I seriously need to have some time to think through my options. I feeel as if I am half way through my life, I have an opportunity and I am being blocked. I want to become a librarian so have a very strong career path.

A few of us have always said that he is being utterly unprofessional in his approach to the students especially the mature ones, I guess this confirms this!

GEEGEE8

I'd try to finish this year and study elsewhere from next year.. he sounds like a right one.. x

Spirit_2

Do not let his bullying derail you - go with the flow, complete your highers (it is only a matter of weeks), focus on the exams then when they are out of the way if you still bothered/have the energy complain about him - his employers need to know students are dissatisfied with him. If you stay there next year you do not want to be taught by him unless he mends his ways.

Reflect on your highers grades when you get them - if they are good enough for a better university then you can always choose to carry on as planned or delay for a year and apply to another Uni knowing you have the grades.

Your highers
Your decisions
Your career path

bestpud

That's strict! If people were removed from courses for missing three lectures, there would only have been two or three of us left on my Access course!

I do think you should let him know why you aren't attending those sessions and show you have it in hand. If you did it in writing, or by email, you would then have proof you'd made a reasoned decision rather than just not bothering to get out of bed iykwim?

Like the previous poster, I wonder if a year out may be the way to go?

Could you find enough work to support yourself in that time, do you think?

I don't see anything wrong with being solitary if that's how you prefer to be. You can obviously cope with people when you need to as you work in a shop and enjoy it!

Is it truly your preference though, or would you choose to be different if you could magically change your life? You don't need to answer - I'm just throwing things into the mix!

ailuro2

Invent an ill elderly aunt who needed you those two days, or maybe hint at menopause type symptoms....anything as an excuse really!

Then go to the next couple of lectures- it's only a couple of hours out of your life, you'll regret it if you don't finish it!!


Of course, have you thought that by deliberately missing the lectures and getting thrown off the course you'd have the decision about whether or not to continue made for you, and you'd also be blaming this awful tutor instead of yourself for the rest of your life !;)

moneysaver12

I did an access at college and if you missed three weeks in a row then they could pull you off the course, and then i think thats if you didn't tell them that you was not going to be there. Its similar at uni. Im at uni now, middle of exams, can understand its a stressful time for you. I have found uni to be much more supportive than college. I doubt that your tutor can remove you from the course for missing three lessons in a year.

GotToChange

Alyth, I have been following your story with interest (and more than a little envy...).
DO NOT let this pipsqueak derail you. He may well have some power-trip type motives for his treatment - he may well even have the official line...
...nevertheless, you have worked hard to get where you are, you are on the home straight of the Access course so, if sucking it up (i.e. attending the exam techniques lectures) is what it takes, do it.
Keep your eye on the prize - and consider that there are people out here who are right behind you every step of the way.

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