Pregnant, in debt and in the army!

PasturesNew

losethedebtlou wrote: »

I am classed as a single parent because me and my boyfriend do not live together and are not married

Surely this is erroneous. You're in a relationship with the father of your child, irrespective of your living arrangements or how you perceive your position.

BLT_2

losethedebtlou wrote: »

I have just found out I am 2 months pregnant. Me and my boyfriend are chuffed although it wasnt planned. We are both serving in the army. I am in an IVA and it doesnt finish until 2011. The IVA company has already said that they will review it to accomodate the new expenses the child will bring to my life. I plan to return to work after my 6 month maternity leave as I simply cant afford to stay off any longer. My main concern is childcare. I am worried as I will need full time childcare and wonder if anyone knows what help I can get from the Army and the government? I am classed as a single parent because me and my boyfriend do not live together and are not married, will this mean I will get more help? I know I will be entitiled to a quarter and wonder how much more I will be paying for this than my SLAM room? I Know I can get child maintenance, tax credits and working tax credit to help with the childcare. But is there anything the army can do?

They could try and convince your boyfriend to show some commitment to his responsibilities by actually marrying you, you would then have 2 wages coming into the house and you would know that he isn't going to bail out in the next 6 months once he gets bored with a pregnant partner.

Sorry for the cynical viewpoint, but I have seen it happen so many times in the military. The Armed forces train professional military people, but due to the support system most of them have a mental age of 16 for the whole of their military service.

helsee

PasturesNew wrote: »

Surely this is erroneous. You're in a relationship with the father of your child, irrespective of your living arrangements or how you perceive your position.

nope.

If they dont live together and have seperate finances aside from him contributing for the child, then mum is a single parent.

mitchaa

No life for a baby with both parents serving in the military. I would seriously think about leaving.

What are you going to do if both of you are deployed to Afghanistan? Who is going to care for the baby?

Why are you not classed as a couple? I take it you are at different ends of the country in different regiments and barely see 1 another? If you are both in the same regiment and both ''single'' living on the same camp then I dont think you'll quite get away with it claiming to be single to tax credits. I take it he would move in as soon as you get a quarter?

Benefit fraud is no different in the military, an investigator could still sit out side the quarters and see him leaving and entering the premesis every day.

If it were me, I'd sign off asap for the welfare of your child. If you are in a loving relationship, marry the boyfriend and then move into MQ with him. If he gets sent away then so be it, you stay put in the MQ's. It would be a hell of a lot simpler.

peteuk

mitchaa wrote: »

No life for a baby with both parents serving in the military. I would seriously think about leaving.

What are you going to do if both of you are deployed to Afghanistan? Who is going to care for the baby?

Why are you not classed as a couple? I take it you are at different ends of the country in different regiments and barely see 1 another? If you are both in the same regiment and both ''single'' living on the same camp then I dont think you'll quite get away with it claiming to be single to tax credits. I take it he would move in as soon as you get a quarter?

Benefit fraud is no different in the military, an investigator could still sit out side the quarters and see him leaving and entering the premesis every day.

If it were me, I'd sign off asap for the welfare of your child. If you are in a loving relationship, marry the boyfriend and then move into MQ with him. If he gets sent away then so be it, you stay put in the MQ's. It would be a hell of a lot simpler.

This is kinda negative, I know a few single mums who have remained in, and one who even joined as a single mum.

So you dont have to leave, you just need really well thought out childcare plans and have a plan B and C, even D if need be. I wouldnt risk the bf moving into the MQ, some housing officers get twitchy at people moving in a week before the marry.

AS far as I see it, you'll be a single mum (bf or no bf) so tax credit shouldnt be a problem. Even if they do take into account you bf wage you will still be entitled to something (take it whilst you can).

Now interestingly if you MQ is behind the wire, would the social have a right to investigate you on camp.....equally as the bf is not entitled to life with you the social can investigate all they want.

I believe I read on another thread you cant even employ him as a parttime "nanny". (Having a live in childcare provider does have it benefits).

Best of luck with what ever you and your bf decide to do, I hope the Army dont mix it up too much.

Marker_2

tashlovestosave wrote: »

This is not a true statement. You are entitled to 26 weeks FULL PAY. 13 Weeks statutory maternity pay (SMP £120 per week approx) and 13 weeks unpaid leave. ANY unpaid leave taken will be added on to your terms of service. So if you are on a 9 year engagement then you would serve 9 years and 13 weeks.

The OP needs to find out what the stance is on her maternity pay and report back on here.

Working in certain civil service posts you certainly get full pay (from various sources) for 9 months, I was under the impression, through what I have read that the service personnel got the same. Full Pay for 9 months.

helsee

mitchaa wrote: »

No life for a baby with both parents serving in the military. I would seriously think about leaving.

What are you going to do if both of you are deployed to Afghanistan? Who is going to care for the baby?

Why are you not classed as a couple? I take it you are at different ends of the country in different regiments and barely see 1 another? If you are both in the same regiment and both ''single'' living on the same camp then I dont think you'll quite get away with it claiming to be single to tax credits. I take it he would move in as soon as you get a quarter?

Benefit fraud is no different in the military, an investigator could still sit out side the quarters and see him leaving and entering the premesis every day.

If it were me, I'd sign off asap for the welfare of your child. If you are in a loving relationship, marry the boyfriend and then move into MQ with him. If he gets sent away then so be it, you stay put in the MQ's. It would be a hell of a lot simpler.

In your opinion.

Two serving parents doesnt always work, but it some cases it does. It depends on the individuals, how understanding chain of command will be and what the parents want to do in their heart of hearts.

You can be soldiers and parents, if your willing to work hard at making it work.

Many options and decisions open to the OP i hope you get some compassion from the army, some solid advice and i hope it all works out for you,whatever choices you make!

losethedebtlou

BLT wrote: »

They could try and convince your boyfriend to show some commitment to his responsibilities by actually marrying you, you would then have 2 wages coming into the house and you would know that he isn't going to bail out in the next 6 months once he gets bored with a pregnant partner.

Sorry for the cynical viewpoint, but I have seen it happen so many times in the military. The Armed forces train professional military people, but due to the support system most of them have a mental age of 16 for the whole of their military service.

Excuse me I am serving aswell and dont appreciate being told I have to mental age of 16 because I am a serving soldier. I am sure myself and many of my worl colleagues have seen and dealt with things that you cant imagine in your nightmares. Ungrateful idiot.

coldstreamalways

Lou, don't worry about BLT. He is sad because he doesn't earn much and doesn't get many bites to his sarcasm on here. Just ignore him, he only does it so he can gain a hollow and transient feeling of superiority, one that will disappear when he stags on the gate tomorrow morning.

I have no advice for you, I am serving but OH isn't anymore and I haven't any children. I do work with a single mum though so if you have any specific Q's, pm me and I can ask her.

Esoog

The OP needs to find out what the stance is on her maternity pay and report back on here.

Working in certain civil service posts you certainly get full pay (from various sources) for 9 months, I was under the impression, through what I have read that the service personnel got the same. Full Pay for 9 months.

JSP 760 is your friend! Everything you need to know is in there, drop into your admin office if you don't have DII access yourself. If you do, load up defence intranet homepage (default page on internet explorer usually), click library in the right hand corner near the top, then look for JSPs on the right hand side (again near the top) and then look for 760.