This is just great!

shellsuit

SandC wrote: »

Well my sister in law's family is close (3 girls) and they do lots of family 'stuff' but my family isn't the same. We are just not like that, never have been. I am not on the phone to my mum every day or even every week, I can go for a month or so without speaking to my brother or seeing him and consequently just as long without seeing my nephew.

Doesn't mean I don't care, and if anything happened, anything at all I am there like a shot, just as they are for me. I always remember birthdays but we might not do anything to celebrate them. My brother loves how my sis in law's family is but realises that we are just different and we don't love each other any less just because we don't see each other much (and my nephew finds that less is more!). My sis in law and her sisters regularly have fall outs as well which is as much to do with being in each others' lives so much as anything else.

Vive la difference is what I say. As for his brother, well come on. Give the single bloke some slack, your son will not remember his first birthday.

No, he won't but we will.

His brother would be put out if we didn't remember his though.

rene2b

shellsuit wrote: »

It was our son's first bday yesterday.

None of OH's family popped in or rang, apart from his Grandad.

OK his stepmum isn't too good, but she's at home from hospital now. His Dad was posting on a forum yesterday, so could have picked the phone up.

My Mum managed to ring from her hospital bed to wish the baby a Happy Birthday even though she had a heart bypass 3 days ago!

OH's brother, didn't even call, ring, or send a card.

I don't want them at the wedding, and OH said last night he didn't want them at the wedding now. OH's brother is meant to be his best man.

Knowing them, they probably wouldn't turn up or be late anyway.

I am so so cross, that they missed the babies birthday, mind you, they said they would come on Christmas Day to see him and none of them turned up!

Why should we pay to have them as our guests at our wedding, when they don't give a !!!!!! about their son and only Grandchild?

But how can OH only have 2 people at our wedding from his side when I'll have loads of my family?

They ruin everything !!!!!!! :mad::mad::mad:

aww im really sorry hun i feel for you and baby(happy birthday for yesterday :T)
we have 3 kids and do expect 'my family'to come round or at least ring to speck to them
when it was all there 1st birthdays everone came
its a very important day
as for your h2b only having a faw family members at the wedding my h2b will only have his 2 brothers
so in the church every1 will sit together we are not having sides
xx

Mazzarati2000

Nothing helpful to add atm, just ((HUGS)), that's rotten hun, sorry to hear that :-(

jackieb

shellsuit wrote: »

They've never invited me to their home in the 8 years I've been with OH so I can't see that happening lol!

OH's Mum died when he was young so his Dad brought him and his brother up. They both feel that they owe him something for that, so both tend to dance to his tune.

I've got out of my way for these people even though they don't like me, gifts and cards at Christmas and birthdays, offering to go out for a drink or meal, which they never took us up on. I lent him money when he had bailiffs at the door and didn't get a thank you or acknowledgement for that, even though it took him months to pay it back.

One year, OH rang his Dad to ask him something, and they were chatting when OH asked his Dad if he knew what day it was. It was OH's bday and his Dad didn't even realise.

I'm just really pished off that they have a lovely son with a good heart and a beautiful grandson, yet they don't acknowledge either. Unless they want something. :cool:

It's their loss. Some people are just not people people!

I've been married for 23 years and my brother-in-law still sends Christmas cards to 'David & family' I get no mention, yet we've never fallen out. I can't remember him ever talking to me - even his own daughter says he's strange. My in-laws have never seen his new house, despite him being there a year and them only living about 30 miles away and they all have cars. I can't quite understand it as none of them have fallen out with one another.

I don't make big deals out of birthdays either though - even if it is a first one. I would probably turn up with a card and present though.

shellsuit

SandC wrote: »

Ah see this goes far deeper than your son's first birthday. Really with families like these, well you can pick your friends is how it goes........

It goes far far deeper than I've explained on this thread, believe me lol.

shellsuit

rene2b wrote: »

aww im really sorry hun i feel for you and baby(happy birthday for yesterday :T)
we have 3 kids and do expect 'my family'to come round or at least ring to speck to them
when it was all there 1st birthdays everone came
its a very important day
as for your h2b only having a faw family members at the wedding my h2b will only have his 2 brothers
so in the church every1 will sit together we are not having sides
xx

It looks like OH will only have his Nan and Grandad there, and that's if they are well enough on the day to come.

I feel bad for OH and I would have them there for his sake, but he was so pished off last night that I really believe he doesn't want them there now.

He said too that he would rather have my son (eldest who is 14) as his best man.

bubbles0169

ah families do my freekin nut in!!
my sis sent me a message telling me to ring her on saturday then demanded i ask my grandad to put her up for a bit as she left her boyfriend and has no money and then put the phone down on me when i told her instead of her friend taking her out drinking they could have lent her some money to ring him herself!!
shes my bridesmaid cause i have to have all the sisters
but theyve always acknowledged my sons b days especially their firsts as it is a big deal

deano23285

maybe not inviting them will make them realise how crappy a family they are, plus they'll no doubt find a way to ruin your day.

if only i could do that with a certain future sister in law!

shellsuit

bubbles0169 wrote: »

ah families do my freekin nut in!!
my sis sent me a message telling me to ring her on saturday then demanded i ask my grandad to put her up for a bit as she left her boyfriend and has no money and then put the phone down on me when i told her instead of her friend taking her out drinking they could have lent her some money to ring him herself!!
shes my bridesmaid cause i have to have all the sisters
but theyve always acknowledged my sons b days especially their firsts as it is a big deal

You don't have to have all the sisters if you don't want to hun.

This is where we are now, why have people there if we don't want them? Because they or others expect to be there? It's about time me and OH just completely ignored those who don't bother with us.

It's so tiring and leads to arguments all the time.

Funny thing is, before I got with OH, his Dad thought the sun shone out of my as s! :rotfl::rotfl:But I was older and had 2 children, so not worthy. :cool:

I can't believe this man is going to be my Father in Law :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

deano23285 wrote: »

maybe not inviting them will make them realise how crappy a family they are, plus they'll no doubt find a way to ruin your day.

if only i could do that with a certain future sister in law!

Well the invites will be going out in a month or so, so we'll see what happens in the meantime.

bubbles0169

i do shell as theyd all be upset if i dont and i dont want to upset them so im having them all
its a nice gesture aswell but when my sis acts like a 12 year old instead of the 26 she is it makes me grrr!
there are some things i dont like about my mil but shes really good with our boys and always has us over for tea so the good outways the bad by far lol
ah i hope you reach a decision that you both feel(cant think of a word) 'comfortable' with x