This is just great!

shellsuit

It was our son's first bday yesterday.

None of OH's family popped in or rang, apart from his Grandad.

OK his stepmum isn't too good, but she's at home from hospital now. His Dad was posting on a forum yesterday, so could have picked the phone up.

My Mum managed to ring from her hospital bed to wish the baby a Happy Birthday even though she had a heart bypass 3 days ago!

OH's brother, didn't even call, ring, or send a card.

I don't want them at the wedding, and OH said last night he didn't want them at the wedding now. OH's brother is meant to be his best man.

Knowing them, they probably wouldn't turn up or be late anyway.

I am so so cross, that they missed the babies birthday, mind you, they said they would come on Christmas Day to see him and none of them turned up!

Why should we pay to have them as our guests at our wedding, when they don't give a !!!!!! about their son and only Grandchild?

But how can OH only have 2 people at our wedding from his side when I'll have loads of my family?

They ruin everything !!!!!!! :mad::mad::mad:

Stephb1986_2

Families eh! I know where your coming from I had a really bad car crash just over 5 years ago my own brother didn't even come to see me for two weeks and even then he had been to the hospital and "carried" his new girlfriend to a&e because she had a ingrowing toe nail!!!!

Since then we haven't had a good relationship

Steph xx

babyhead

(((hugs)))

That's just bloody awful :mad: At least he isn't old enough to know (yet) and you can make it special for him

IME weddings always cause friction. When I got married, OHs family kicked off because we weren't inviting any cousins so lots of them didn't come or even reply :mad: Some of them don't even speak to us now and we got married four years ago :rotfl: BUT they always send a card etc to DS on his birthday and at xmas.

Just do what makes you and OH happy - whether that involves them or not!

SandC

It is a bit off, but really with babies and first birthdays, the parents put a big emphasis on it when really for most of us it's not such a big deal as the baby will never remember it anyway.

Not everyone is big on birthdays and family stuff like that but if your OH feels the same as you do then of course you must reassess your relationship with them with regard to other events that are forthcoming.

I would have sent a card if it were me but I wouldn't have phoned for a 1 year old - sorry!

shellsuit

I don't understand how family can act like that ~ my family are extremely close even though there are loads of us, and would drop anything to help each other.

OH's parents have only seen the baby 3 times since he was born and 2 of those times we had to ask them to see him.

His brother normally bothers, but apparantly he was on a weekend jaunt shagging a girl he had met on the internet. Nice.

Just a phone call would have been nice, just so they acknowledged it was his birthday!

shellsuit

SandC wrote: »

It is a bit off, but really with babies and first birthdays, the parents put a big emphasis on it when really for most of us it's not such a big deal as the baby will never remember it anyway.

Not everyone is big on birthdays and family stuff like that but if your OH feels the same as you do then of course you must reassess your relationship with them with regard to other events that are forthcoming.

I would have sent a card if it were me but I wouldn't have phoned for a 1 year old - sorry!

If you had a grandchild and couldn't see him or send anything for his first birthday, you wouldn't ring on the day, just to acknowledge it?

Must just be me, I send presents and cards and still ring people on their birthdays, even babies, by asking whoever to give them a kiss and a squidge from me.

We didn't put abig emphasis on it.

I thought Grandparents who don't come to see him, who missed out at Christmas when they didn't come as promised, would have made the effort to see their only grandchild on his birthday, or at least ring on the day.

deano23285

i would sit down with the OH family and share your issues with them, and if they get arsey then tell them they ain't going to the wedding!

SandC

Well my sister in law's family is close (3 girls) and they do lots of family 'stuff' but my family isn't the same. We are just not like that, never have been. I am not on the phone to my mum every day or even every week, I can go for a month or so without speaking to my brother or seeing him and consequently just as long without seeing my nephew.

Doesn't mean I don't care, and if anything happened, anything at all I am there like a shot, just as they are for me. I always remember birthdays but we might not do anything to celebrate them. My brother loves how my sis in law's family is but realises that we are just different and we don't love each other any less just because we don't see each other much (and my nephew finds that less is more!). My sis in law and her sisters regularly have fall outs as well which is as much to do with being in each others' lives so much as anything else.

Vive la difference is what I say. As for his brother, well come on. Give the single bloke some slack, your son will not remember his first birthday.

SandC

shellsuit wrote: »

If you had a grandchild and couldn't see him or send anything for his first birthday, you wouldn't ring on the day, just to acknowledge it?

Must just be me, I send presents and cards and still ring people on their birthdays, even babies, by asking whoever to give them a kiss and a squidge from me.

We didn't put abig emphasis on it.

I thought Grandparents who don't come to see him, who missed out at Christmas when they didn't come as promised, would have made the effort to see their only grandchild on his birthday, or at least ring on the day.

I always send cards and if I couldn't for some reason then I would acknowledge it with a phone call - but who are they acknowledging it to - you or the baby? Folks are just different and you will not do yourself any favours getting wound up by people who don't do things like you do is all.

shellsuit

deano23285 wrote: »

i would sit down with the OH family and share your issues with them, and if they get arsey then tell them they ain't going to the wedding!

They've never invited me to their home in the 8 years I've been with OH so I can't see that happening lol!

OH's Mum died when he was young so his Dad brought him and his brother up. They both feel that they owe him something for that, so both tend to dance to his tune.

I've got out of my way for these people even though they don't like me, gifts and cards at Christmas and birthdays, offering to go out for a drink or meal, which they never took us up on. I lent him money when he had bailiffs at the door and didn't get a thank you or acknowledgement for that, even though it took him months to pay it back.

One year, OH rang his Dad to ask him something, and they were chatting when OH asked his Dad if he knew what day it was. It was OH's bday and his Dad didn't even realise.

I'm just really pished off that they have a lovely son with a good heart and a beautiful grandson, yet they don't acknowledge either. Unless they want something. :cool:

SandC

Ah see this goes far deeper than your son's first birthday. Really with families like these, well you can pick your friends is how it goes........