Dealing with Separation Anxiety at a late age – leaving a child at pre-school

minimoneysaver

The best piece of advice I can give you is NEVER SNEAK AWAY OR OUT OF THE DOOR. Your child needs to learn that you are trustworthy. If you sneak out, you will lose that trust. It will get better with time. Explain the sequence of events before they happen and carry on as usual.

HRV

I'm a nursery teacher (in a school) so have alot of just 3s (most have never been left anywhere before as virtually non of our mums work) and after our children have been with their parents to the visits we ask our parents to leave them at the door. We just take the child by the hand and reassure them, say bye byes to mummy/daddy and close the door.

They do cry, but they soon learn that mummy/daddy will be back later and the crying soon stops.

I would say either go in and settle him OR go. Dont wait outside- if you do this and go back in he will learn that by crying you will come back.

Felicity

Thank you all for your help and for sharing your experiences.

We tried again this week, the poor little chap started screaming and crying hysterically in the car when he realised where we were going, I had to prize his hands from the passenger seat head rests to get him out of the car and carry him clinging to me and sobbing to me.

A workman even downed tools and climbed out of a nearby hole to see what all the fuss was.

Anyway, I told him firmly 'Mummy will be back soon', handed him to his teacher, turned on my heel and walked out (by this time filling up myself). Within 1 minute the crying had stopped and his teacher said he had been fine.

I will just keep on doing the same for now and see how we get on!

Thank you again!

Felicity x

arwenelf

My little boy used to do this as well, he started nursery in sept age 2 and 9 months and was fine for the first term just going one day a week and then when his funding came through for the following term he was there three mornings a week. For that term he cried and clung to me most mornings but was fine within a minute of me leaving and then used to cry when I went to pick him up saying he didn't want to go home! :eek: However thankfully since going back after easter he has been fine - I think I felt worse when he was crying about not wanting to go home!!!!!:rotfl:
It is horrible but if the staff say he is settling as soon as you leave try not to worry x