The most mind numbing T&C's i've read on ebay!!

mini-me66

I was doing some browsing on ebay and under the 'ME' section on someone's listing was this (sorry its long as i cant work out links to the ebay page.....


TERMS AND CONDITIONS (for all my auctions):



BUYER PAYS FOR ALL THE POSTAGE COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH THE AUCTION AND ALSO HAS THE CHOICE OF POSTAGE METHOD USED. HOWEVER, I WOULD RECOMMEND A ’SIGNATURE ON DELIVERY’ SHIPPING SERVICE (i.e. RECORDED OR SPECIAL DELIVERY, ETC) TO ENSURE QUICK ARRIVAL.

THE CHOICE OF POSTAGE METHOD & COST IS ENTIRELY UP TO THE BUYER AND YOU SHOULD COMPLETE CHECKOUT ACCORDINGLY (see details below). PLEASE NOTE THAT THE POSTAGE QUOTED IN THE AUCTION NOT ONLY COVERS P&P BUT ALSO ANY HANDLING FEES ASSOCIATED WITH THE AUCTION/ITEM.

THE ADDRESS I SEND THE ITEM TO IS THE ADDRESS WHICH WILL BE PROVIDED TO ME IN THE ITEM’S CHECKOUT FEATURE, SO PLEASE ENSURE IT IS THE CORRECT & DESIRED DESTINATION.

I HAVE QUOTED THE EXACT P&P AMOUNT ALREADY IN MY AUCTIONS (AND WILL AGAIN AT THE AUCTION’S END WITHIN 48HRS IN AN EMAIL CONFIRMATION). HOWEVER, PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE POSTAGE RATES APPLY TO UK DESTINATIONS ONLY AND THOSE BIDDING FROM OUTSIDE THE UK SHOULD CHECK OUR ROYAL MAIL WEBSITE (https://www.royalmail.com) FOR MORE INFORMATION REGARDING OVERSEAS POSTAGE. SHIPPING WITHIN THE UK WITH SPECIAL DELIVERY IS ’GUARANTEED’ NEXT DAY; STANDARD POST IS ‘AS GOOD AS’ NEXT DAY; AND ROYAL MAIL STANDARD PARCEL SERVICE TAKES 3 - 5 DAYS. SHIPPING OUTSIDE THE UK WITH SURFACE MAIL CAN TAKE AS LONG AS 8 WEEKS AND AIRMAIL TAKES UP TO 10 DAYS (DEPENDING ON ITEM’S DESTINATION). IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF THE DOMESTIC OR OVERSEAS SHIPPING COSTS AFTER LOOKING AT THE ROYAL MAIL WEBSITE, EMAIL ME AND I’LL ENDEAVOUR TO FIND OUT FOR YOU. PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ITEM ONCE POSTED. I THEREFORE INSIST ON USING INSURANCE ON ALL MY AUCTIONS UNLESS BUYER REQUESTS OTHERWISE (THUS REDUCING P&P COSTS). IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS WITH DELIVERY, SUCH AS DELAYS OR LOSS, THEN I WILL FORWARD THE COUNTERFOILS, PROOFS OF POSTAGE, etc. TO YOU AND YOU CAN DEAL WITH THE POST OFFICE DIRECTLY.

FOR UK BIDDERS:


I ACCEPT MOST COMMON FORMS OF PAYMENT, INCLUDING CASH (AT BUYER’S OWN RISK WHILST IN POST, SO SHOULD BE SENT DISCREETLY AND APPROPRIATELY REGISTERED), CHEQUES, PO’S IN GBSTERLING ONLY, DIRECT BANK TRANSFER (BACS - MY PREFERRED METHOD), BANK DEPOSIT, INTERNATIONAL MONEY ORDERS (IMO's) IN GBSTERLING ONLY, ALONG WITH PAYPAL AND NOCHEX (AGAIN, IN GBSTERLING ONLY). FULL DETAILS OF ALL PAYMENT OPTIONS WILL BE INCLUDED IN THE END-OF-AUCTION EMAIL SENT TO THE WINNING BIDDER.

FOR INTERNATIONAL BIDDERS (NON-UK): I ONLY ACCEPT INTERNATIONAL MONEY ORDERS (IMO'S), PAYPAL OR NOCHEX.


PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL MY AUCTIONS ARE IN GBPOUNDS STERLING</B>. IF YOU ARE NOT SURE OF ANYTHING, EMAIL ME AND I WILL ENDEAVOUR TO GIVE PRECISE ANSWERS QUICKLY. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT FREE POSTAGE ONLY APPLIES IF 'BUY IT NOW' IS USED AND THAT THE ITEM CAN ONLY BE DELIVERED TO ANY UK MAINLINE TRAIN STATION WITHIN A RADIUS OF 50 MILES OF LONDON. IF 'BUY IT NOW' IS NOT USED, OR THE ITEM NEEDS TO BE SENT OUTSIDE OF 50 MILES, THEN THE QUOTED POSTAGE CHARGES WILL APPLY. DO NOT SIMPLY SEND YOUR PAYMENT WITHOUT MAKING SURE IT IS CORRECT, OR I’LL JUST SEND IT BACK. GOODS WILL BE DISPATCHED AS SOON AS FUNDS REACH AND CLEAR MY BANK ACCOUNT (OR BEFORE, BUT ONLY IF I DECIDE TO DO SO). THIS CONDITION IS SET FOR ALL PAYMENT METHODS (EXCEPT PO’S OR CASH, WHICH ‘CLEAR’ INSTANTLY). CONTACT IS TO BE MADE BY THE BUYER VIA EMAIL WITHIN 3 DAYS OF AUCTION END AND PAYMENT IS EXPECTED WITHIN 7 DAYS UNLESS OTHERWISE AGREED. EXCUSES LIKE ’PC NOT WORKING’ OR ‘ON HOLIDAY’ ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR LACK OF CONTACT. HOWEVER, I DO APPRECIATE THAT YOU MIGHT BID AND THEN BE DUE TO GO AWAY, SO A QUICK EMAIL TO INFORM ME IN ADVANCE WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH - PROVIDED YOU TELL ME, THAT’S FINE! FAILURE TO ADHERE TO THESE RULES WILL MEAN ITEM BEING RELISTED, NEGATIVE FEEDBACK BEING LEFT AND CREDIT REFUNDS FILED.

TO ALL BIDDERS, PLEASE NOTE: ANY NON-PAYING BIDDERS (TIME WASTERS) WILL BE TAKEN THROUGH EBAY’S NON-PAYING BIDDER POLICY AND WILL RECEIVE NPBA’s / NPBN’s IN THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE TIME. ONLY IF YOU AGREE TO ALL THESE CONDITIONS SHOULD YOU PLACE A BID AND BY BIDDING, YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS.

<H2>FURTHER INFORMATION:

</H2>
FEEDBACK WILL BE LEFT FOR THE BUYER AS SOON AS THE BUYER LEAVES FEEDBACK FOR ME. THIS IS DUE TO SEVERAL PREVIOUS BUYERS OF MY AUCTIONS NOT LEAVING FEEDBACK! BY BIDDING IN AND WINNING MY AUCTIONS, YOU ARE OBLIGED TO LEAVE FEEDBACK AND I WILL CHASE UP (BY EMAIL) THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE YET TO LEAVE THEIR COMMENT. IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY REMINDERS FOR FEEDBACK FROM ME, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENT AS SOON AS THE ITEM ARRIVES.

RETURNS POLICY: I DON'T OFFER REFUNDS ON ITEMS THAT I HAVE PROVIDED A PICTURE FOR AS THE IMAGE SHOWS THE BUYER(S) WHAT THEY ARE BIDDING ON. HOWEVER, IF THE ITEM ARRIVES DAMAGED WHILST IN THE POST THEN THE BUYER NEEDS TO EMAIL ME ON THE SAME DAY THE ITEMS ARRIVES TO ARRANGE A REFUND, ALTHOUGH THIS IS ONLY APPLICABLE IF THE BUYER HAS PAID THE APPROPRIATE INSURANCE COVER WITH THE POSTAGE COSTS. ONCE THE BUYER HAS LEFT FEEDBACK, I WILL CONSIDER THE ENTIRE TRANSACTION TO HAVE BEEN SATISFACTORILY COMPLETED. AFTER THIS POINT, NO CLAIMS OF 'ITEM NOT ARRIVING' OR 'ITEM NOT AS ADVERTISED' WILL BE ENTERTAINED BY MYSELF AND NO REFUND WILL BE ISSUED BY ME. THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE WHERE A BUYER LEFT POSITIVE FEEDBACK OF 'EXCELLENT...COULDN'T BE HAPPIER' AND THEN CLAIMED THE ITEM NEVER ARRIVED - I THEN GOT SHAFTED BY THEM & PAYPAL - AND I'M FED UP WITH IT!!!. PLEASE DO BE AWARE OF ALL THIS INFORMATION.
CHECK OUT MY FEEDBACK AND BID WITH CONFIDENCE WITH MY 100% CUSTOMER SATISFACTION RECORD.


I almost fell asleep!! Not sure i want to risk bidding!!:rotfl:

pinkshoes

Sounds like a pedantic nutter who doesn't understand ebay rules!

soolin

Good grief, it owuld probably be easier to just have a note on his auctions saying 'I have no idea how ebay works and am best avoided'.

cyberbob

YOU ARE OBLIGED TO LEAVE FEEDBACK AND I WILL CHASE UP (BY EMAIL)

Ahh No i'm not

BlueCow1975

Oh no!! Those terms and conditions do not seem quite long enough to me...............they forgot to mention whose responsibility it is should my package be delayed or lost due to unforseen alien abduction......!!! May have to e-mail to request clarification on these very important concerns prior to my purchase :rotfl:!

jinky67

I gave up after 3 lines:rotfl:

soolin

BlueCow1975 wrote: »

Oh no!! Those terms and conditions do not seem quite long enough to me...............they forgot to mention whose responsibility it is should my package be delayed or lost due to unforseen alien abduction......!!! May have to e-mail to request clarification on these very important concerns prior to my purchase :rotfl:!

Yes a very serious omission, I also note he hasn't covered wht happens if he runs out of jiffy bags in a crisis :eek:

mini-me66

My other favourite was a comment that he is a pro golfer with a handicap of 3 so knows what he's talking about. Feel sorry for the people who have already bid a lot on some golf clubs of his...they might be in for a shock once the auction ends!!

DaveAshton

BlueCow1975

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

cyberbob

IF THE ITEM ARRIVES DAMAGED WHILST IN THE POST THEN THE BUYER NEEDS TO EMAIL ME ON THE SAME DAY THE ITEMS ARRIVES TO ARRANGE A REFUND, ALTHOUGH THIS IS ONLY APPLICABLE IF THE BUYER HAS PAID THE APPROPRIATE INSURANCE COVER WITH THE POSTAGE COSTS. ONCE THE BUYER HAS LEFT FEEDBACK, I WILL CONSIDER THE ENTIRE TRANSACTION TO HAVE BEEN SATISFACTORILY COMPLETED. AFTER THIS POINT, NO CLAIMS OF 'ITEM NOT ARRIVING' OR 'ITEM NOT AS ADVERTISED' WILL BE ENTERTAINED BY MYSELF AND NO REFUND WILL BE ISSUED BY ME

He then contradicts himself here

CHECK OUT MY FEEDBACK AND BID WITH CONFIDENCE WITH MY 100% CUSTOMER SATISFACTION RECORD