How do you cope with 2 kids under 3?

pinkclouds

I have 2 kids under 3 years old. They are 20 months apart.

Ignore anyone that says stuff like "you'll just manage" and "I was fine with five", etc. Truthfully, it is incredibly difficult for the first several months. My advice is to let everything slide until your youngest is able to sit up unaided. Don't feel guilty about not doing chores or not taking them to baby groups or using ready meals/baby jars. Or anything. If you manage to keep yourself and your kids clean, clothed and fed then you will have achieved everything you need to do. Anything else is a bonus!

Once your second child is a few months old and you can establish (or re-establish) some kind of routines for both kids, then you can get back to "normal". Babies grow up pretty fast. Don't worry about messy house and social activities while they are still at the "oblivious to the world" stage. Who wants to leave your baby to cry while you clean and dust and so on?

If you want to co-feed you can. Otherwise, if you want to breastfeed baby (or bottle feed) and toddler is weaned, then try to set aside some special toy or activity (rummaging the peg basket or something) while you are nursing that is just for nursing time. Everything else, just try to juggle as best you can. Playpens and slings and double strollers all help. As does temporarily rearranging your home so you are mostly operating out of just a couple of rooms instead of the whole house so it is easier to keep an eye on everyone. Also, remember your new bundle of joy is too young to care about material possessions. Give baby your time and give your toddler the new toys, etc. It's all just common sense stuff that you'll either know or figure out yourself. The one thing no one can help you with is the guilt. It's bad enough with one. With two kids, you feel guilty all the time! Try not to. But I know you will. I do.

pinkclouds

Lalaladybird wrote: »

How do you get anything done beyond looking after a baby and entertaining a toddler? I'm going to have to cook, clean and do the laundry but just cannot imagine how I'll fit any of that in knowing how hard it was with a newborn and how hard it can be with a toddler constantly demanding this and that. My OH is great but as he works full time and I get to be a sahm I think it's only fair I do the lion's share at home but am so worried I'll drown.

Oh, and as for hubby, he is an adult and can fend for himself for a few short months. I'm sure he knows how to iron his own shirts. Once you get to somewhere between 6 to 12 months (depending on how good a sleeper your baby is), you will have your evenings back again and then you can iron his shirts for him. If you want to.

If you weren't a SAHM then you would have to pay someone to care for your kids. You are doing a job, albeit a very nice one.

sock-knitter

i have twins, and my now ex husband left when the babies were just three months old. it wasnt always easy, i suffered from post natal depression, the key thing to getting better, is to make sure i got out everyday, even if only for a walk round the estate pushing the kids.
try not to become isolated, mix with other mums. make mealtimes as easy as you can. sleep or rest when they sleep
sk

littlepinky84

I had 2 under 2 and a 4 year old lol. I found that the younger two just slotted into routine. There was only one thing i struggled with and that was getting out and about (not doing nursery run) but now there 7, nealy 4 and 2 and a half its much easier

cazscoob

sock-knitter wrote: »

the key thing to getting better, is to make sure i got out everyday, even if only for a walk round the estate pushing the kids.
try not to become isolated, mix with other mums. make mealtimes as easy as you can. sleep or rest when they sleep
sk

I totally agree even a walk to the shop and a chat to the shopkeeper, or local toddler groups are a lifesaver to have an adult conversation. I find i am calmer if i have been out for a while and not stuck indoors all day!

Sublime_2

I must admit, was a personal nightmare for me, but we survived, and DD and little brother get on well so was worth it eventually.

The only thing I can suggest are M&S lovely fresh meals. Not normally a fan of ready meals, but theirs are good.

The other is letting OH take your oldest out for a few hours at weekends, so you can get a break.

You will get through this. My DS is now 2 1/2. still a handfull, but worth it.

winnie81

Hi and congrats on the new bundle coming :j

You will be fine and before you know it will be in your own little routine I had DS when DD was 10mths :eek: No one will expect or frown upon housework being left and your eldest will no doubt enjoy helping to tidy/do washing etc while the babys napping. I think we all panic just before were due so its all normal. Take each day as it comes and don't worry too much over the day to day stuff just enjoy having your new baby around

I went on to have 4 in the end so its not all bad :rotfl:

LJM

my eldest was just 3 when my second was born, it was a fantastic age gap and i didnt find it hard at all i thought i would at first but once i got into the routine with the breastfeeding and nursery runs i did wonder why i worried in the first place. it all fell into place nicely and my 2 girls are very close and very happy and i am a happy mum,dont worry it may feel overwhelming at first but your routine will settle and you will be fine

itsallinthemind

I did it alone and the children were nearer ages

I just accepted the first 3 months were going to be chaos until the baby could support itself in a bumbo and be amused simply by watching the eldest etc.

I also learnt that baby had to fit around the existing set up or the eldest was going to have acceptance issues, this has now evened out nicely.

My best tip though is to nap when toddler does and simply to be harsher with the time you let baby 2 cry. It is hard at first, but they cope fine. With 2 you simply can not be rushing into a room at the smallest whimper

Also-live on pasta, jacket potatoes, shop bought goodies etc for the first 3 months. Ok not the best dietary advice, but it is quick and does the job!

esmf73

Have rethought my earlier advice. You have to learn to laugh at the mistakes that you make - my first night back from hospital when I had my boys (17 months apart) I took a meal out of the oven and promptly dropped it all over the kitchen floor. If I'd not laughed I'd have cried!! So it was takeaway all round - get takeaway menus in!!

I totally agree with making the house even safer. Get down to your current childs height (if you can) and see things from their perspective - can you spot any dangers that you'd be uncomfortable to leave your child in the room alone whilst you pop to the loo? If so, sort them now. My house might look a bit sparse, with furniture pushed to the sides of the room and wicker baskets on the shelves filled with things, but I can leave my children (now almost 6 and 4 1/2) in a room whilst I'm in another and not worry about them getting things they shouldn't have.

As the children get older the challenges don't get any less challenging, they are just different, and you have grown in your experience in handling them. Should you wish to, please feel free to PM me and I'm happy to mail you back, but it can't really be a substitute for getting out and speaking to people. I'd have hugely long (3 / 4 words) conversations with the checkout lady in Tescos. Better than just speaking baby babble all day!

And if you ask any of us, I'm sure we'd all relive it again in a heartbeat. My children were exceedingly challenging, but the challenges they pose now are greater!