How do you cope with 2 kids under 3?

Lalaladybird

My dd is going to be 2 and a half when my baby is born next month and I'm getting a bit worried about how I'll cope. I'm hoping for some advise from those of you who have "been there done that" and learned from the experience. I expect the first 6 weeks or so to be chaos but I'm hoping to get life into some sort of routine as quickly as poss in terms of keeping on top of the housework/cooking/laundry therefore keeping life running smoothly for the family.

I'm having a difficult pregnancy and all I can do is a bit of cooking at the moment and washing/drying the laundry, and looking after my dd of course. I hardly do any cleaning at all now. I can't bend over without a major (muscular?) pain shooting across my bump so anything below waist height has to stay where is has fallen/spilled/been dumped. My OH has been great taking over a lot of the daily chores but generally the house is a complete mess most of the time now. I can't wait to have this baby and get my body back as I feel really frustrated at not being able to do anything and watching the chaos pile up but I know that things could get worse after the baby arrives before they get better.

How do you get anything done beyond looking after a baby and entertaining a toddler? I'm going to have to cook, clean and do the laundry but just cannot imagine how I'll fit any of that in knowing how hard it was with a newborn and how hard it can be with a toddler constantly demanding this and that. My OH is great but as he works full time and I get to be a sahm I think it's only fair I do the lion's share at home but am so worried I'll drown.

Any advise would be great xx

langold

hii have 2 under 3 and a 3 year old the younger 2 are a year apart and the last pregnancy was aful in and out of hospital etc, i was worried but eveything just slots together , have a routine take it easy and it will work,

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Whereas with one child, you fit your life around the baby, when it comes to a second, the baby learns to fit around your life. You tend to be more relaxed - you know what cry means which, you instinctively know what a windy tummy feels like compared to a temperature.

Baby has been learning your routine from before birth - when you get up, when you are most active, when you sit down for the rest of the evening, and because you already have a routine with your toddler, baby is primed to follow the same patterns.

The only thing which is sometimes a pain is they tend to expect activity at about 5pm, because that it just when you are rushing around trying to do tea for the older one.

The relief of getting that weighty lump away, especially when it is so high at the moment, is enough to give you the freedom of movement you haven't had for ages.


You will be fine. Tired, yes, a bit frazzled at first, yes, but you will be fine.

ukjoel

We got one who is 3, one who is 15 months and number three is popping out on us in just over a month.

To be honest once you get used to the fact your house will smell of vomit, nappies, and johnsons baby products, and things that you took for granted like going to tesco are now planned weeks ahead with maps, walky talkies, and cattle prods available to hand its pretty doable.

My tip is dont let them gang up on you.
Once they hold the balance of power its like an election and they fight dirty.

Seriously though one is tough, second one seems like second nature.
Will let you know in a months time what I think of three.

jcr16

my dd was 18m when my son was born. i thought i'd find it hard.but it harder going from no babies to one than it is 1 to 2. i found we settled in to a routine very easy and i just took everything as it came.

When my 3rd child arrived my dd was 4 and son was 2. and that was even easier. because they were both at nursery i had to get up and get going and be out house by 8.45 and that really helped.

routine is the key. i found within 2 to 4 weeks the routines naturally sorted themselfs out and the children just fitted into together. it only as they getting older and they argue it hard,lol.

cazscoob

I agree a routine is the key and do not be afraid to ask for help! if someone offers to help out say 'yes' every time! have you though about getting someone in to help with the ironing maybe 1 day a week? shop online?
I have 5 children and 3 under 5, i find with the 2 LO that if i change them both at the same time its a major task done, they have a very similar routine and a long afternoon nap. This helps me to get things done or even have some time to relax. I also have them all dressed as soon as we get up and then down for breakfast as it saves me from going up and down all morning! i am lucky that the older 2 kids (9,8) do their fair share in the house and are very good at helping.

SuzyWuzy_2

I had 4 children in 6 years and it was one of the best times of my life. There were no school runs to do, you're not working around a timed day as such. It gets harder when they go to school.

It is easier than you think as long as you plan ahead and keep to a routine. It helps if you can involve your DD with the baby and get her to help fetch nappies and other little bits of stuff.

Im pregnant with my 6th baby , my 5th was born in August. They'll be 14 months between these too and Im really looking forward to it, like someone else said , let the baby fit around your life , not the other way around. You 'll find your more relaxed about parenthood this time.

Enjoy it, They'll both have grown up before you know it.


PS house work is another matter, watch the dishes and washing mount up but who cares as long as it gets done eventually. Women beat themselves up trying to be Delia , we're our own worst enermy! Ask your OH to help out more, if we dont ask we dont get

.

retro_bluebell

I agree that the second one just fits around your routine as they have to, you dont have the time to pander to them as you would your first iyswim? My 2 older boys are 17 months apart and you just get on with it really. My second son was a much easier baby then my first because he got used to waiting for everything- thats sound harsh but he had to I had a toddler to see to.....

Dont be too hard on yourself do whatever you need to, to get through the first few months...and enjoy them! It was tough but my boys are 12 and almost 11 now and would not be without each other

mrcow

Don't worry about it.

I had two under 18 months (and an old 5 year old) and really, it's just fine. You'll find your own level. Your house may not be as clean as it always was but you will find your feet.

My tip would be to ensure that you make regular time for yourself (whether it's a bath or a natter round a friend's house etc.). It's so easy to forget about yourself when you're running round after everyone else.

RedBern

echo what has been said already - but don't be afraid to ask for and accept help, and don't worry about getting OH to do more than you think his 'fair share' should be! May be an idea to set aside a day to supervise some cleaning around the place, (you sit and direct where/what you want doing) and a bit of bulk cooking if you've got room in the freezer, even if it is a few spag bols you can take out in the morning in the first few weeks. The important thing is not to beat yourself up - enjoy the baby (and toddler), they'll be going to school before you know it.;)

nearlyrich

Mine were 19 months apart, they are 23 and 25 this year so it's a while ago but you just manage, I had a tough pregnancy ended up in hospital for the last 7 weeks and my ex left when I was 7 months pregnant. My mum was great a real tower of strength, take all the help you can get and make sure the older one doesn't get pushed aside when people want to see the baby. I always ask the big sibling if I can have a look at THEIR baby hope that helps.