Do I run too tight a budget?

jackieglasgow

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Just something to think about.

Suppose something awful happened in your family, illness/death etc, wouldn't you regret always forgoing any pleasure for the sake of the future?

Having survived cancer soon after marrying and being married to someone with a life threatening condition, I have to say that there's a lot to be said for enjoying life while you can as you never know what's round the corner.

Do you know, this is the best post I've ever read, anywhere. We are all so busy running away from money problems, or towards the financial dream that we lose sight of what we have.

Sucker_for_sweeties

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Do you know, this is the best post I've ever read, anywhere. We are all so busy running away from money problems, or towards the financial dream that we lose sight of what we have.

It's lovely and so true.

I'm not stupid...and I have the same [STRIKE]!!!![/STRIKE] life as most, but oh, a windy sunny day/an unasked for cuddle/another day when the washing machine/car/boiler/TV stays intact, always seems a blessing. Not to mention loved ones health....
blessings, and a true deep joy:o


I'm not even religious, though I often say I have a protestant work ethic coupled with a catholic sense of guilt:cool:

nickyhutch

JoJoB wrote: »

I agree with you about camping - I don't see it as slumming it at all, we all love it as a family!

We live in the South East too and as such our budgets are restricted (our holiday this year is still 50/50 affordable though just a week at a £500 cottage). We are going to do out best to get there though.

The part of the SE you are living in is considerably more expensive than our (coastal) part of the region. We live in a very nice 2 bedroom flat worth £100,000 for example. Would it be worth you looking at other possible areas to buy your dream home which are under the 500+ mark you mention? Even if you have to commute into london there are now high speed train services to outlying areas such as east kent which are great for schools/houses etc but cheap property prices too.

Camping isn't slumming it, no - it's great fun, but for the adults it can be hard work compared to renting a cosy cottage for a couple of weeks. Give the man a break - a proper break. WHat if you go camping and it pees it down for a fortnight?

JoJoB

nickyhutch wrote: »

Camping isn't slumming it, no - it's great fun, but for the adults it can be hard work compared to renting a cosy cottage for a couple of weeks. Give the man a break - a proper break. WHat if you go camping and it pees it down for a fortnight?

Oh I completely agree. It's great fun but can be exhausting and very weather dependent.

Sometimes you just need a HOLIDAY.

Molly41

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

This thread actually made me quite sad in a bizarre way.

My OH comes from parents who were obsessed with becoming mortgage free. They did that and as a result OH says they never went anywhere - no holidays, no trips to the seaside, virtually nothing. He and his sister never had the latest fashions or toys or anything either. Anything they got were hand me downs from their "poor" cousins. The poor cousins incidentally had parents who didn't have much of an income but always made sure their kids had holidays, clothes, toys etc.

Now before people jump up and down and say material things don't matter my OH remembers these things. No matter what anyone says it is hard being the only child without a particular T shirt or whatever especially when it would have only cost a few pounds. As a result now if he wants something he buys it and is the same with the children. He feels that he cannot deny them anything (which isn't always a good thing but thats another topic entirely). The outlaws well they continue to hoard their money and will do until such times they end up in nursing homes and the money is usurped to pay the fees. Seriously what is the point?

In the past few weeks 2 friends of ours have died. 1 aged 34 dropped dead and the other aged just 31 was in an accident. Both leave behind a wife and children. Those wives are maybe mortgage free now thanks to the life insurance but I can bet both they and the children would rather be mortgaged to the hilt and have their husband and daddy back.

OP, you sound like you have it made. You are going to be mortgage free in about 2 years, you have shedloads of savings and your children seem to do well for activities etc.

Have the holiday, let your OH relax in a cottage, go to restaurants. You really don't know what is round the corner. Children will remember the fun times not the day the mortgage was paid off.

This post totally reflects my childhood. To this day I still remember not having fashionable clothes or the money to go to town with my friends. I was bullied really badly as a result. Im not saying this is the case for the OP 's children but life is for living. You can afford a cottage holiday - you are choosing not to. There are many who cant make that choice - such as your children. You also hold their dreams in your hands!

mumofjusttwo

Could you compromise and go camping for 1 week and stay at a cottage for 1 week too?

I would love to be mortgage free but certainly feel that life should not be put on pause to reach the goal.

[Deleted User]

None of us knows what is around the corner. Take the opportunity to have the holiday. The memories will be worth the price. Do things together whilst you and your family are young and you are all in good health. See Oldernotwiser post!
Our family loved to camp but we also saved for a few more expensive holidays in cottages.

As you say in your original post you are pursing your dreams but dreams sometimes dissapoint. Are these your husband's ddreams too? Does he (and your children) want to live in the country? Have you had real discussions about this and how to spend your income.

JodyBPM

Thanks for all the replies. As I said earlier, we're talking together about it, and we're both open minded to either camping or a cottage or even a caravan, depending on what we find that catches our eye.

One thing I have to say, though, is that a lot have people have alluded to my poor hardworking husband needing a holiday! I work too! I bring in close to half of the household income by working two days a week, and also do the lions share of childcare, chores, finances, shopping, arranging childcare etc! I get the impression that a lot of people think that my DH is working hard earning all the money, and I'm grabbing it and controlling it. That's not the case in our relationship! My husband DOES work hard 5 days a week, I work hard 7, AND make a significant financial contribution. I feel that my views on how the money is spent are equally as valid as his. If DH earned the lions share of the money, perhaps I might feel it was HIS money and HIS right to spend it on what he wanted, but that's not how the finances work in this house, they are JOINT finances and we made a JOINT decison (although instigated by me) to pay off the mortgage in 2 years. If we spend a lot of money on a holiday, we will not meet that JOINT, AGREED goal. The decision to pay of the mortgage in 2 was only made at the beginning of this year, so I guess I feel that if 5 months in he wants to add an extra 2 or 3 months to the goal, where will that end? Will he want another holiday next year as well? And a big blow out at Christmas? Or a new telly? or whatever...

JodyBPM

onewom wrote: »

None of us knows what is around the corner. Take the opportunity to have the holiday. The memories will be worth the price. Do things together whilst you and your family are young and you are all in good health. See Oldernotwiser post!
Our family loved to camp but we also saved for a few more expensive holidays in cottages.

As you say in your original post you are pursing your dreams but dreams sometimes dissapoint. Are these your husband's ddreams too? Does he (and your children) want to live in the country? Have you had real discussions about this and how to spend your income.

Yes DH and I have discussed it, at length! He does want to live in the country in the nice house, but he's not so keen on having to cut back to get there. Although I instigated this, its more because of our different personalities, he's more of a comfortable plodder alonger and I'm more of a motivator and striver. I don't think he realised that we would be able to achieve what we want until I spelt it out to him, showed him the savings plans and properties we'd be able to afford etc. He is fully on board with this, but I think sometimes he loses sight of the goal.

moneypanicker

You're thread has made me think about our finances. It is very similar to us in a lot of ways. We earn about the same as you and i too work 2 days a week and bring home almost half of household income. My husband is useless at organising money and therefore i now do all the finances. My husband if had control would just spend on nothing - I think it's great that you've got a goal id love to be in the position to pay off mortgage in 2 years.

I was feeling bad the other day that my dh doesn't have much money when he works full time etc but as you put in your above post you do alot too - as do I. It's irrelevant if you work full time. I think the way you split your money is great we do something similar but not in the same way although i'm looking at giving them a reshuffle so you've given me something to think about.

I will say though my parents didn't have lots of money when i was growing up but they always made sure we went of several holidays a year. Nothing fancy always camping but my brother and I had a fab time. They put holidays priority over doing up house etc as they felt it was more important to spend time as a family. Personally i think staying in a cottage can be a bit boring. When you go camping there are loads of other families around, kids to play with. My parents said they never saw me and my bro. My kids i'm hoping will be the same when they are old enough. If you stay in cottage it's very isolated - it depends if you like being like that.

Sorry i've waffled! In answer to thread NO i don't think you run too tight a budget and i think you are doing very well. How about camping in France instead then the weather is better. Keycamp or Eurocamp then you don't have to put up the tent!!!