Do I run too tight a budget?

JodyBPM

I have a dream for a better life, one in a nice house in the country! And to get there I'm trying to pay off the mortgage as soon as possible. I'm a good MSE'r and keep a really tight rein on the finances. And until yesterday, I was feeling quite proud of myself that I was reaching my targets, but something my DH said has made me question whether I'm pushing my MSing to far!

My DH is lovely and supportive, and shares my dreams for a better future, although if I'm honest, deep down I know they are my dreams, and left to his own devices he wouldn't strive for them in the way that I do.

Yesterday DH and I booked two weeks off work in August. Yesterday he came home from work all excited because he had been looking at booking a holiday cottage. In August, somewhere close to the beach is likely to cost around £1K for a cottage for the four of us. A THOUSAND POUNDS! He looked so sad, bless him, when I pretty much said, forget it, we'll sling the tent in the car and go camping for a few days! And its made me wonder whether I'm taking the whole MSing thing too far, and not letting him have enough "fun":(

We have two small children, so I work 2 days a week, DH full time, and our combined take home is around £3000 per month. This gets broken down into:

£1000 bills, mortgage, mortgage overpayments
£300 personal spends (£150 each)
£300 train travel to work costs :eek:
£600 savings
£800 food, family clothes & shoes, kids expenses (eg dancing lessons, swimming lessons, school trips), pet expenses & petfood, petrol, and if there's anything left at the end of the month, perhaps a takeaway or a pub lunch etc

This budget lets us afford everything we need, but there's not much spare. Saying that, though, we do have £150 each a month "spends" which I think is ample!

I'm just wondering if I should cut DH a bit more slack with money for treats, especially bigger treats like holidays. The thing is that the reason I save the amount I do, is that is what will get us mortgage free in 2 years. For me I can live frugally for 2 years to achieve the dream, but is it fair on my DH? Am I being too mean? I thought I was achieving the right balance between spending and saving, but maybe not?

tabskitten

£150 month EACH 'spends'!!
and thats not inc family spending- lucky people!!

Any

If your OH likes camping then that is fine.
If you kept me frugal all year long and then came up with the tent idea I would go mental. I despise camping for longer then a weekend.

But that is me. What is your OH like?

Also - how do the £800 measure up like?
EG how much is for food, how much are the lessons?

Oldernotwiser

JodyBPM wrote: »

I'm just wondering if I should cut DH a bit more slack with money for treats, especially bigger treats like holidays. The thing is that the reason I save the amount I do, is that is what will get us mortgage free in 2 years. For me I can live frugally for 2 years to achieve the dream, but is it fair on my DH? Am I being too mean? I thought I was achieving the right balance between spending and saving, but maybe not?

Just something to think about.

Suppose something awful happened in your family, illness/death etc, wouldn't you regret always forgoing any pleasure for the sake of the future?

Having survived cancer soon after marrying and being married to someone with a life threatening condition, I have to say that there's a lot to be said for enjoying life while you can as you never know what's round the corner.

January20

Although I agree with your idea of running a tight budget in order to get your dream, what if something dreadful happened and you then regretted not enjoying today enough? It's ok to plan for the future but you must also enjoy the present so that if the future doesn't come there are no regrets.

You could easily afford the cottage, by cutting down on the savings for a month or so, and buy cutting down both your pocket money for a few months too. (it's only May after all)

£150 each, to spend as you wish is, in my opinion, a huge amount of money and therefore, I don't think your budget is that tight and you are not unfair on your OH.

I agree with Any about camping. I can't believe we have made some much progress to live in comfort for people to then go and sleep in a field (with bugs) for a holiday! (strongly tongue in cheek and no offense meant lol)

aligerdie

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Just something to think about.

Suppose something awful happened in your family, illness/death etc, wouldn't you regret always forgoing any pleasure for the sake of the future?

Having survived cancer soon after marrying and being married to someone with a life threatening condition, I have to say that there's a lot to be said for enjoying life while you can as you never know what's round the corner.

I totally agree with this. You've done really well to be in the position of being mortgage free in 2 years, but you need to have some fun too.

My OH has fallen ill recently, and I would love nothing more than to take him away for a rest near the seaside, unfortunately we're not in a financial position to do so.

Having a holiday may delay your MFD for a few months, but you'll feel so much better after a break - and more determined to carry on your quest!

Any

January20 wrote: »

£150 each, to spend as you wish is, in my opinion, a huge amount of money and therefore, I don't think your budget is that tight and you are not unfair on your OH.

I completely agree with everything that was said appart from the above.

I have worked too hard all my life to walk around with a fiver in my pocket and my friends asked to have quick glass of wine after work I would have to decline...

I think £150 is just right. Especially if it covers presents to each other.

Any

IF you decide to go on holiday - very often the spend on holiday is higher then the cost of holiday itself because noone wants to think about money and touristic destinations are expensive.

You better keep a rein on that rather then on actually having a holiday.

JodyBPM

Any wrote: »

If your OH likes camping then that is fine.
If you kept me frugal all year long and then came up with the tent idea I would go mental. I despise camping for longer then a weekend.

But that is me. What is your OH like?

Also - how do the £800 measure up like?
EG how much is for food, how much are the lessons?

OH likes camping well enough, and the children LOVE it!

The £800 is split differently month to month, some months its tight, others we have some money to play with. Food is around £300, petrol around £60, dance lessons, swimming lessons, school trips, lunch club are paid termly, so when they all come together that could be £200 or so, but other months nothing. Again clothes, when we need to kit out with new school uniform it can be expensive, but other months nothing apart from a couple of £2 t-shirts in the supermarket. In general, I'd say that except for the tightest months, we have enough for a takeaway, and a pub lunch each month, occasionally even a babysitter and a night out for DH and I!

I feel, personally, that with £150 spends each plus a bit of slack in the family spends, we're doing alright, but I do see DH's point about wanting a holiday. And bless him, it is a family holiday he's after, not a lads weekend away or a bit of pointless expensive technology!

ema_o

How much longer would it take you to get mortgage free if you did go for the holiday? I suspect it would only be a matter of months, particularly if as suggested you cut down your pocket money and put that towards the holiday.

I think sometimes it is easy to get carried away with saving money. I am with you in wanting to overpay the mortgage now to be better off in the future, but I have to balance it with my OH who would spend far more than me. We end up somewhere in the middle, with overpaying the mortgage but keeping some aside for treats such as holidays.

I suspect if your OH is willing to put some / all of his own spending money towards the holiday that would be a good indication of how much it means to him. It might be that if you have been living very frugally for a while that it would be good for you all to have a treat like this!

Any

JodyBPM wrote: »

OH likes camping well enough, and the children LOVE it!

The £800 is split differently month to month, some months its tight, others we have some money to play with. Food is around £300, petrol around £60, dance lessons, swimming lessons, school trips, lunch club are paid termly, so when they all come together that could be £200 or so, but other months nothing. Again clothes, when we need to kit out with new school uniform it can be expensive, but other months nothing apart from a couple of £2 t-shirts in the supermarket. In general, I'd say that except for the tightest months, we have enough for a takeaway, and a pub lunch each month, occasionally even a babysitter and a night out for DH and I!

I feel, personally, that with £150 spends each plus a bit of slack in the family spends, we're doing alright, but I do see DH's point about wanting a holiday. And bless him, it is a family holiday he's after, not a lads weekend away or a bit of pointless expensive technology!

In that case you are not running a tight budget at all.
I understand he wants a holiday, I wouldn't survive without them, but appart from that I don't think you are mean at all.

Just cut a bit on something else (ie spend, takeaway - instead get a supermarket take away) and the cottage won't dent your savings much.

But if your kids love camping...