Accompanying a spouse on business trip

LEJC

Im sorry but I may be missing the point here a bit...

either you sit in the hotel room for 6 days possibly doing a little sightseeing and have the company of your husband for some of the time
or
You stay at home for the 6 days lose the money you have paid on your ticket and get the odd snatched phone call with your husband for the duration of his stay
um....
I think I'd take a couple of good books,get myself a travel pass and enjoy the oppurtunity to spend a little quality time together...they say a change is good and you may even find you enjoy the pottering around london

Any

LEJC wrote: »

Im sorry but I may be missing the point here a bit...

Yep, I think you are...
She is not well.
Travel is tiring and you cannot take with you the comfort of your home.. At home you can watch your favourite programs, pick up any book etc etc..have friends come round for coffee... you know what I mean.

That is why I say that only she knows how unwell she feels.

Oldernotwiser

Any wrote: »

I have been to these trips... It is most terrible torture imaginable in my eyes... But that is just my opinion;)

Also from the OP's post I understand that there isn't much of an "area" to mooch about really..

A day or two, I would say yes bite the bullet, but 6 days? That is a bit too much for me.

I suppose it's because I've done it like this a few times with my ex that it seems reasonable to me.

Unless the hotel is in the middle of a vast industrial estate, there's sure to be normal life going on all around which can be far more interesting than wandering round the centre of a big city.

Still, we're all different and I just like to see the way that normal people live when I go abroad. Perhaps the OP can tell us which city and the sort of area the hotel's in?

LEJC

she was prepared to make the journey when she thought she would be staying in a central hotel with better facilities,now the lady seems unable to cope with a more out of town hotel....I'm sorry I see it as a situation where she has to put up with the alternative or not go on the trip...after all it is her husbands work trip and surely that must take priority....perhaps she could comtact the company to se if they would reconsider the change of venue taking into account her illness.
Perhaps she should just let her husband travel alone and wait for a time that she is feeling more able to return accompanying on his trips

Dave_liverpool

If it were my wife, and she has done similar in the past and we were staying at an 'out of town area' she gets a taxi into town does a little light sightseeing/bus tour. Visit a museum or 2 and enjoys a spa day in a local 'good' hotel. If you know where you are going to then the internet is your friend and the hotel reception usually help with organising a taxi into town etc.

What facilities does this hotel have to offer? Is there is outside space to enjoy a days reading, a restuarant or cafe for lunch or would it be all travelling to even get a coffee then maybe that would be too much.

floss2

LEJC wrote: »

...after all it is her husbands work trip and surely that must take priority....perhaps she could comtact the company to se if they would reconsider the change of venue taking into account her illness....

And the likelihood of that is pretty low TBH - the whole point of the trip is that the OP is to accompany her husband on a business trip. They are unlikely to be willing to change venues because the wife of a delegate has been ill and would prefer to be somewhere less out of town.

lostinrates

I have been in exactly OP's situation. I am able to accompany dh on trips paying own flights, but am recovering from long term ill health.

I have actually done the whole stay in a room thing, and tbh, when your very ill just the traveling is enough to exhaust you. when a little better I do exactly what OP describes, potter about a bit, close to hotel for naps...doing sightseeing etc at my own pace.

Out of town places aren't always heinous. Sometimes they are near nice suburbs worth seeing and of the tourist track and good for shopping. Six days, perhaps you could manage two by transport to the city centre. It might be the host country has a centrally based office where you an leave shopping bags/use the loo (depending on nature of employment/conference).

The reason I prefer to go often is because DH isn't at home through the week, these things are sometimes at weekends...I want to be with him at night.

oping stratages depend on what the ''illness'' impacts are...My decision to do montmatre when barely able to walk was a bad one! but in a flat city I would be better. I mainly just need to sit down a bit and take half an hour out. Luckily I have no shame, and will sit on steps where public seating is not plentiful. I wear trainers not ''corporate wife'' shoes/outfits and we budget more than I'd like for cofee that I don't really want to drink but comes with a seat for 10-15 mins.

Other things to remember, museums are great, but often low on seats...for long periods of quiet repose art galleries are the key! if there are several the taxi/route in will take you past different sights in the town.

Sightseeing buses are expensive, but a great thing to do with a morning/afternoon, even when you can't get off to explore places.

you might find another corporate partner who will share taxi costs with you...your husband will need to do a bit of digging on this one. I've made good chums with this method.


Ultimately now I stay at home a,lot because of expense and ease: we have lots of animals and responsibilities it is now hard to up and go.

Brighton_belle

Speaking as someone who has experienced long term debilitating illness, mooching by myself in a hotel room reading may be bliss for someone who usually has a busy lifestyle, but when you lifestyle at home as been reduced to reading and spending a lot of time alone, then I can quite see why this wouldn't suit the OP.
Where as in the centre of a vibrant city situated close to many interesting museums etc for gentle and short bouts of exploring, coffees and people watching would be worth it.
I can see from a work point of view why the OP's husband can't change and that he possibly needs to be on hand for inpromptu networking etc.

So I agree that OP, only you know what level your health is at at the mo.

lostinrates

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Speaking as someone who has experienced long term debilitating illness, mooching by myself in a hotel room reading may be bliss for someone who usually has a busy lifestyle, but when you lifestyle at home as been reduced to reading and spending a lot of time alone, then I can quite see why this wouldn't suit the OP.
Where as in the centre of a vibrant city situated close to many interesting museums etc for gentle and short bouts of exploring, coffees and people watching would be worth it.
I can see from a work point of view why the OP's husband can't change and that he possibly needs to be on hand for inpromptu networking etc.

So I agree that OP, only you know what level your health is at at the mo.

I understand your positiong, for me, mooching in a hotel roo was a change from mooching at home, and thus a bonus. I was very bored and lonely. when mooching progressed to pottering, which I re read and saw OP is not currently up to, it was better, but for me, when I was really ill, a change in view from the wndow, a hotel breakfast, a bath that someone else cleaned were such a treat.

OP, you mustn't go if you are not upto it. Your Dh is probably upset because he loves you, and will miss you. A big kiss and some special time together might help remind him you love him too, and its your health, not your will that finds you unable to go.

Spirit_2

Thanks everyone.

It is an event not a conference and the action takes place away from the hotel - he is involved in organising a series of these, leaving on Saturday finishing in June and will be home for 24-48 hours whilst travelling between events . I would have accompanied him on the flights and probably to a couple of receptions , been there when he had an hour or two back in the hotel and slept beside him.

We have discussed it tonight - he is OK about it now - I have a few weeks and if I decide not to go all will be fine as it will be for the best.