From Trash to Cash: Dribbling a river

HopeAndDriftWood

Aww, thanks everyone You guys always make me feel better. I'm gonna try and put it to the back of my mind, and have ordered Dominoes for me and puppy to cheer us up. You guys will be first in line when I'm ready to talk, though (as usual!)

Paula, I don't really have anything useful to say...I'm bad at dealing with problems too, would much rather stick my head in the sand then have to face anybody. I like to keep people happy...even gave my Mum £40 for a present for my little sister yesterday, when I know it won't go towards a present, and she doesn't deserve anything from me. She didn't even say thank you...or ask how I am. She just said that as my income no longer goes to her, little one doesn't get any presents, and she hopes I am happy with myself...I need to grow a backbone! I wouldn't worry about the nursery, they'll be used to money troubles and won't treat you any differently. I hope your grandma gets better soon and I hope your children enjoy their visit.

Wow, what an essay. Sorry about that...

Oh, and Nix..I'm studying to be a Vet. I hope!

jo70mo

Hi Paula, hugs.
you are not rubbish at all. this is stuff most of us don't learn.
was the loan to pay something else off? I seem to remember it was but not sure. be careful with doing things to improve your credit as can lead into more debt depending what you do.
I think you would get a lot of help from the debt free wannabee board. I have been on there a bit lately and I feel more relaxed now.
really the key is to find a way to get out of debt rather than getting credit to pay debt off. So personally I would concentrate energies there and less on how to get credit rating improved in order to get credit.
Am sure you know this but the scariness is panicking you and you are hoping a loan would bring you a quicker solution that is less scary.
some of the debt free challenges look quite motivational too. such as the no spend days or grocery spend challenge etc.
I have just sat down and realised how much extra money a year we would have if we weren't paying it all off on debts each month. WOW its thousands.
Have just read a book by Dave Ramsay and am starting to take action and actually looking forward to the challenge.
This is probably off topic for you but one thing he says is reducing debts is 20% knowledge and 80% behaviour and whilst the snowball calculator used on MSE gets you to pay of your higher interest debts first as it makes more financial sense, he says psychologically it is often best to do the smallest debt first as you start to see results quicker and are more likely to keep at it. This has made sense to me as my highest interest debt is also one of the largest so the thought of paying that off first so that I can then use that monthly payment against the next debt just seems too far away whereas paying off one of DHs small student loans would then free up a small monthly payment to use on the next loan and would not take ages to do I hope. I can see the numbers add up better the other way but I can get more fired up about doing it this way so thats the way for me.
Big hugs to you.
Jo x

jo70mo

P.S Paula I wasn't trying to criticise when I asked if it was to pay something else off. I just seem to remember you were trying ot reduce overdraft so you could get loan or something along those lines. We have used credit in all sorts of ways that seemed reasonable at the time to get us through a difficult patch so I am in no position to criticise at all.
Jo x

jo70mo

ooh my turn to be thread killer.lol

HopeAndDriftWood

Sorry, I'm around, just don't really know what to say.

Looks like I was incorrectly advised about my course, too, so I might not be able to do it after all. Well, at the moment, I can't. Urgh.

What are your darling little ones up too? I hope I have children like yours, they sound adorable!

jo70mo

We've had a very lazy day today as raining and DH is poorly. so been mainly doing wii and watching dvds and watching James mays toy series on Dave. They are now slurping tomato soup very noisily through straws which is causing much merriment.
They've been round to granny flat quite a bit too - "helping" her settle in and organise her stuff.lol
Hope you get somewhere with sorting out your course. is this a different one to the one that was supposedly really good with accessibilty issues?
Jo x

paulabear

Was doing kids' tea
Jo, I'd never think you were criticizing!
I've said it all on here before so apologies for boring anyone - when my mum was dying I was 6 months pregnant and wanted to be with her as much as possible but this involved missing work (care agency so was easy enough to refuse hours) -taking the kids through to Hull on train a lot, this plus other expenses meant we put off paying fees and ended up getting behind, and as I've mentioned before my OH was smoking weed daily (has been given up since Feb now, and I couldn't have got through it at times without people on this thread who cared enough to give me advice and kind words, thanks so so much). I then went on maternity leave, then when I went back to work I lost my job after 3 weeks due to what I think was poor financing (others were being dismissed/hours cut). We didn't want to disrupt the kids so left them in nursery and sold lots of stuff on Ebay while i looked for suitable work (had to fit into nursery's hours but my main experience is in care and we're in a small town; there's not much going that doesn't require flexibility/shift work). Soooo....I'm happy being at home with the kids but we need to pay off the nursery debt as soon as possible as I just can't face taking DD1 there for her free places (nursery owner contacted me to see did we want her to go back; the worst thing is that she's lovely, she was so supportive to all of us through a horrible time and she was nearly in tears talking to us about our debt...but she's got a business to run.)
The other problem is that we've got various overdrafts, loans etc to pay off which we really need to pay off through getting a loan as our outgoings are more than our incomings even though we're cutting right back. I'm considering taking a break from my driving lessons as that's £88 a month; WW is £17; not sure about driving lessons though as my dad would ask awkward questions and we haven't told him any of this as we're ashamed! A lot of it's pride, isn't it?
The quote you gave is a really good idea, thank you, but we're on a time limit, at least with the nursery; we just want to be able to pay them off, so we can take DD1 for her free places and if becomes worth me getting a job we send the little one

jo70mo

Paula - can't believe it was feb when he gave up. only seems 2 minutes ago. thats brilliant.
I see what you mean about the time limits etc and understand about your dad not knowing etc.
It is pride but its still hard to deal with. the driving lessons would make more sense when you can afford a car etc but I also see how they feel like moving forward and acheiving to you as well and probably good for your self esteem.
With the nursery I know it is humiliating but if she has contacted you and they know that they are going to be paid with the voucher scheme then sounds like they would like to have her and of course they would make money on her being there. perhaps you could do what you can over the summer to make a bit of money or put the weight watchers and driving money towards paying off some of the debt to show you are committed to paying it. This might be one area to really swallow your pride and accept the kindness you are being shown. It seems so amazing that they have contacted you to make sure you know she is welcome that maybe you should accept the ride that fate seems to be offering you.
Once you get over that hurdle psychologically you might well not feel as deadline pressured and be able to work out a clear way forward in approaching each debt.
You known I wouldn't tell you what to do but just offering my thoughts.
Don't hate your debts - they got you through a really difficult time in your life but now they are starting to become the difficulty so it is probably time to start getting them sorted.
be kind to yourself hun.
Jo x

jo70mo

Paula have you looked at bank support worker jobs at hospitals. my friend who is doing her nurse training does this locally and she just rings them up when she knows she is going to be free and asks if the have any shifts going that saturday for example. they usually do. she gets about £120 for a saturday night. but they do not hassle her to do more than she does and don't seem to get p****d off if she doesn't do anything for a few weeks. maybe you could fit something in around DHs hours so he could have kids or would that not work?
Jo x

paulabear

You are right and I hadn't really thought about that; it's actually going to have to go to a debt recovery agency if we don't get it paid past a certain time but I see what you mean about her getting paid for having DD1 there and yes they are pretty amazing, I think we were incredibly lucky, DS still talks about when he went there and yeah I think you're right about going with it and getting past the emotional/psychological hurdle. You have good ideas
The trouble with doing bank work is that it would interfere with OH's Masters work, and if he doesn't get it done he will feel like he's failed and it'll really get him down again. It is a great idea though and I like the thought that I could fit in shifts; it might work in the future, I would enjoy the adult company! Was talking to MIL about her friend who fosters, apparently she's shattered, got a sibling group and she can't take her eyes off them or they steal things and wipe bogies on the walls, it sounds like fun...:)
DS hurt his foot messing about with the door and he's just said to me, "It still hurts, I tried kissing it but it just didn't work!".