Stessed by problem with DD's school

happysinglemum

Andrealm - I have had exactly the same problem with my ds since he was about 3. People's lack of understanding can be so frustrating sometimes! DS was prescribed lactulose to start with, then senocot, followed by movicol. (The last 2 were taken togehter). Finally after a couple of years, he was prescribed Picolax..... (This is what hospitals use to 'clear patients out' before an op). If they prescribe this, it's usually to clear a blockage caused by too long without other medication working, I believe. It's horrible stuff, but it does work.

Anyway, ramble over, the point of my post is that, yes, this problem can be long term, and it can take the patience of a saint to deal with it (even as the child's mum). And it can be such a worry that your child will be known as smelly (but because you're so worried about that, it's unlikely, because you will, as I did, keep them scrupulously clean...).

My son is now 11 and in the past couple of years, has only had 2 accidents (both of which were during visits to his Dad, who never truly believed it was a medical condition)... So it may be worth checking what the attitude is at your child's nursery (when they speak to her about her constipation) - my ds used to 'hold it in' if he thought it would be made an issue of, which obviously, made the 'leakage' far worse...

hope this helps. pm me if you'd like to.

xxx

andrealm

Thanks, hsm, it must be hard to deal with as they get older, it must be every embarrassing for them. DD was on Lactulose for a long time but it didn't work very well. The GP never took it seriously and just said she'd grow out of it and just keep giving her Lactulose. When she was on it she was hardly eating and was waking a lot at night, her tummy was sore a lot of the time and she wasn't herself. Eventually we went to another GP, who I've always found far more helpful and he prescribed Dulcolax, which I think is similar to Picolax.
The hospital started her on Movicol and sais to still use the Dulcolax now and again, but the constipation clinic said to up her Movicol and try and get her off the Dulcolax if we can.

I don't know what they say to her about it at nursery but she does try to hold it in and I think she's picked up on their attitude, she doesn't tell them if she needs changed but she nearly always tells us at home if she needs changed.

NBirdy

Forgive me if I'm underestimating the severity of the 'accidents', but if it's just a bit, is your daughter able to change her own underwear at all? My DD is 3 1/2 and has been dressing herself since for 6 months or more, and now wants to wipe herself after pooping, with me just checking after to see how she did (surprisingly well, most of the time). I agree that the school/nursery should be able to deal with this problem, but if that's not going to happen then other alternatives need to be thought of. Your poor girl, I hope she recovers faster than expected and you can all forget about this stage.

My DD has started holding it in at nursery recently too - she said the other kids in the toilets all start saying 'Pooh! What's that smell?' so she doesn't want to do it there because they'll know it's her. Peer pressure at age 3 for goodness sake!

andrealm

NBirdy, it would be great if she could change herself, but she can't wipe herself properly. Her coordination and balance aren't great and she still struggles with getting dressed at nearly 4. Another problem is that she's terrified of hand dryers, sometimes she won't even go into the toilet if she sees one. She's been referred to the multi disciplinary team, they're supposed to be seeing her in June but we haven't got a date yet.

happysinglemum

andrealm wrote: »

Thanks, hsm, it must be hard to deal with as they get older, it must be every embarrassing for them. DD was on Lactulose for a long time but it didn't work very well. The GP never took it seriously and just said she'd grow out of it and just keep giving her Lactulose. When she was on it she was hardly eating and was waking a lot at night, her tummy was sore a lot of the time and she wasn't herself. Eventually we went to another GP, who I've always found far more helpful and he prescribed Dulcolax, which I think is similar to Picolax.
The hospital started her on Movicol and sais to still use the Dulcolax now and again, but the constipation clinic said to up her Movicol and try and get her off the Dulcolax if we can.

I don't know what they say to her about it at nursery but she does try to hold it in and I think she's picked up on their attitude, she doesn't tell them if she needs changed but she nearly always tells us at home if she needs changed.

It has been hard as he's got older, especially as his Dad just decided at a certain age (6 or 7 I think) that he 'should have grown out of it by now'... Although ds is fine now (but still only goes once or twice a week at most), he still tries to make sure he never has to go at his Dad's, as they still make an issue of it there.

I know it sometimes feels as though this problem will never end, I can assure you that you're doing all the right things for your dd, and she will come out of it eventually. For ds, it happened gradually and it almost took me by surprise when I realised he hadn't had any problems for several months.

Good luck with getting the support you need for your dd.

xxx

frannyann

OP, sorry to read your child is suffering. My daughter had a different bowel problem that made it hard for her to judge when she needed to poo, so rather than put her into a 'school' nursery, I chose to keep her in a private nursery until she got to 5 and needed to go to 'big' school. I got some flak from people who claimed I was 'holding' her back and denying her the chance to 'fit in' at school. However, the bowel problem was handled very well at her nursery and she grew out of it and now at nearly 13 she is a happy and confident child with plenty of friends. I feel that holding her back from 'real' school did her no harm at all!

aliasojo

It makes me really angry that educated people can have such a lack of common sense. A few minutes out of the day would not make too much of an issue for staff and would make all the difference this little girl's comfort and self esteem.

I wish we could get rid of policy and red tape and go back to the days where people acted (and were allowed to act) in a more human manner, simply because they used their own initiative and recognised when a kindly gesture was needed.

OP, I would cheerfully kick up as much about this as I could (civilly and politely of course). Good luck.

Gingham_Ribbon

aliasojo wrote: »

I wish we could get rid of policy and red tape and go back to the days where people acted (and were allowed to act) in a more human manner, simply because they used their own initiative and recognised when a kindly gesture was needed.

The problem is that schools and nurseries who make children sit in soiled clothes are acting against policy and red tape, that says that children shouldn't be discriminated against.

School isn't compulsory, so home ed might have been something to consider if it were appropriate for the OP's family, but I agree with you, I don't think refusing the child the option of being educated at school on the basis of them not wanting to change a nappy is acceptable or desirable. Sorry, not sure if that reads quite right, I'm struggling to get the words right...

I had to home ed my son for a while because his preschool weren't meeting his needs. As you say, home ed is great when appropriate, but it's unacceptable to force it on people because staff would rather let a child sit in their own faeces than spend a minute changing them.

jackieb

I know this is an oldish thread but this sounds very much like encoprisis. My 14yo daughter has it and it's awful. Yes, you can leak if you have constipation - one doctor told me it's also referred to as water over rocks (the rocks being the hard compacted poo, and the water is the loose stools running round it and is what leaks out). My daughter has just been off school for 2 weeks while she got cleared out. When she was on paediatric Movicol I was told by a specialist to gradually increase her dose to 12 sachets a day until she was cleared out (don't do this unless under medical supervision!) It was a horrible 10 days or so until she was empty but afterwards she was like a different child. She's now on adult Movicol and had to take up to 8 sachets a day.

I feel so guilty. This has affected my daughter greatly. She is now seeing a psychologist as she is very introverted outside of our home and it seems to be coming back to the soiling issues. Please don't let this drag on. My daughter had been prescribed everything - senna, lactulose, picolax, etc, etc and the only think to have ever worked for her was the Movicol. It's good stuff as the bowel doesn't become dependant on it like some of the other meds.

Be aware though, the specialist told me that if your child has had problems with constipation (mega colon, encoprisis, etc) for say 5 years, it can take another 5 years for the bowel to shrink back into shape. Sometimes children with this problem also has trouble with their bladder (urine infections, bed-wetting etc).

Good luck in sorting this out. A lot of schools should be better educated regarding this. My daughter has missed a lot of school - sometimes they don't seem to understand that you just can't put them if they're particularly leaky, and to have a proper clearout can take about 10 days. I also saw some ignorant posts here - if you don't know what you're talking about then don't assume that you do and whitter on, and make a mum feel even worse about herself than she already does.