Stessed by problem with DD's school

andrealm

DD is nearly 4 and goes to a school nursery. She is due to start primary school
in Sept. She has had chronic constipation for about 18 months and is on Movicol. She wears pull ups as she doesn't know when she needs to do a poo and can't control it. We don't know how long it will take before her bowel returns to normal, as the bowel becomes stretched with long term constipation.

The school nursery call me in to change her if she does a poo even though it takes me 20 minutes to get there. Sometimes I've had to go in more than once in a session. On one occasion they called DH and he said he wouldn't be able to get there straight away but they didn't offer to change her and when I went in, having got there as quickly as I could the teacher said "Oh she's been waiting half an hour for you." I was really cross about this. The Head said the school couldn't do it as "they would have to move people about"

I am not happy about her being left to sit in class smelly until I get there. I also have a DD who is nearly 2 so I may be in the middle of changing her, giving her her lunch or she could be having a nap when they phone.

He said the school could apply to the Ed Board for an assistant but this was turned down. He said we would probably get support for P.1 but what if we don't. She will be going from 9-2 from October and sometimes I might have to change her 5 times in a morning.

What do you think?

Bufger

I think if you're having to change her 5 times a morning its not likely to be constipation!

Have you been back to the doctors? With it going on for this long i think something is either seriously wrong or the medical help she's currently getting is incorrect for her symptoms.

Schools have alot to do already, its hardly their fault if they're given next to no budget to work the many miracles or parenting and teaching they are now expected to do. Couple that with the fact that some political parties want to get rid of teaching assistants and you're very unlikely to have the school sort out all your problems for you.

littlemissfrugal

personally I would be keeping her home a while longer until it can be sorted long term - get back to your GP and see if there is anything more they can do.

From your DD point of view the kids she is with now will i presume be the same ones she will be at bigger school with and it would be awful if she were to become known as the girl that poos herself as that could have an effect on her confidence and self esteem

andrealm

She's been seen by a paed at the hospital and now we're seeing a nurse at the constipation clinic. She's had blood tests done but they came back clear, it is chronic constipation which is quite common in children. She is on 4-6 sachets of Movicol a day with the aim of getting her to do one proper sized poo a day.

Yes it is constipation, she needs changed a lot as she tries to hold poo in and is soiling, doing little bits of poo instead of a proper sized stool.

She is likely to have this problem for at least several months, some children have it for years. So keeping her off long term is not an option and she will be of compulsory school age in September.

pinkclouds

Personally, I would keep her at home until the toilet situation is under control. I don't think a school nursery is the same as daycare and I would not expect a teacher to care for kids in the same way that a daycare assistant would. If the situation doesn't improve, I would also consider home schooling.

I agree with Bufger above. Going five times in one morning doesn't sound like constipation to me - more like the reverse! Is your gp/paediatrician supportive and have they been reviewing her meds and so on?

Poor girl. Eighteen months is a looong time to be ill. Hope she gets better soon. Best wishes to you guys.

Gingham_Ribbon

Andrealm, I taught a teenager with the same problem. She used to bring a change of pants to school to cope with the 'leaking'. Refusing the child an education for a medical problem is a discrimination issue. If they can't support her, I really think you should ask for a meeting with the head and move it up if necessary. My son's school just get on with it and there are older children who still have accidents for various reasons. It's cruel to do what they're doing.

Your daughter is only 3 years old. She needs help and they should be providing it.

andrealm

If it was something that could be sorted out in a couple of weeks I would keep her off. But even though we are doing all we can to help her, it is a long term thing.

I've briefly considered home schooling, I admire anyone who feels they can do it but I don't think it would suit us. DD wouldn't be at all happy with the idea, she loves seeing her friends at school.

I also want to be able to take DD2 to toddler groups next year. Tbh I don't think I'd have the patience to do it and I believe you don't get any financial support if you choose to home school so you have to supply all your own materials. I just want her to able to go to school like anyone else.

silvercar

Her current medication isn't making her constipated in the morning if she is going 5 times! Could you reduce the medication in the morning so that she won't need to go until after nursery.

Only you can decide the right balance between medical intervention and keeping her in schooling.

As she gets older the problem should get easier as she will be learning how to take care of herself.

Gingham_Ribbon

With respect to those people trying to help, the little girl is constipated and is being treated for it. Recommending messing about with her medication isn't helpful, and potentially dangerous.

Gingham_Ribbon

I'm shocked at how many posts there are saying this isn't constipation. Maybe a quick google will explain it to those who don't believe the doctor's diagnosis.

[Deleted User]

I didn't know anything about chronic childhood constipation.., and noticed from some of the posts others don't either. So I did a bit of googling.., and thought oh dear, this is not a good thing to have.

I found http://www.childhoodconstipation.com/Real/Tom.aspx.., and it seems it can be very long term in some cases. I wonder if your daughter's school has the same lack of understanding and if they are open to learning more about it to enable your DD to attend school and be comfortable as the condition/soiling could go on for some time.

It might be time to find someone like Parent Partnership/Parentline who can advise on who to contact to kind of 'push' the school into recognising that standard approaches aren't /won't work and to find ways to help your DD.