Real life MMD: Should I ask for my money?

maddigunn

I feel for you but realistically I would think your chances of actually getting any of your money back are remote.I would bite the bullet and cut your losses - move out as soon as possible. Check out how you stand with giving notice/terminating your present lease first though!

marich

Irve is right . Forget it , get out asap . A shame for your friend , but if he doesn't want to see where he's going then the sooner he gets there the better !

Linz_H

I would advise you to line up another person to share then give this guy 5 days to find somewhere else to live. Let someone else put up with his selfishness !

airheadgreg

People keep saying that this is a difficult one, I don't see why. Yes his dad has died, but people die, it is a fact of life. Sure help the guy to re-assert his financial position (not by lending money) but get your money back asap and get the hell out! Especially if they are wasting money on beer and fast food, all that does is create a downwards spiral drinking more and eating more when he just needs to face the facts.

antonia1

I am very conflicted in this case.

On the one had I keep thinking of a phrase my grandfather told me "if you lend a friend £20 and never see him again, it was probably worth the money", but at the same time it seems your friend may be in real trouble.

I had a family bereavement about two years ago and was very unwell afterwards. After about 6 months of seeing a counsellor I got better enough to at least appear normal. At the time I really couldn't even think straight and lost many friends because of it. However, I did have a number of friends (and marvellous OH) that helped where they could and understood that there were reasons why I wasn't behaving logically.

I think what you need to work out is whether his seeming selfish behaviour is because he just is a selfish person, or is he really struggling? If he is struggling I would help as much as possible to get him back on his feet (there is lots of volunteer counselling services around, maybe find one of those) but I probably wouln't ask for the money back. If he is just using his father's death as an excuse I would cut and run, making it clear that I still consider the money a debt.

One thing is for certain tho, I would not lend him any more money at all. It clearly isn't helping.

arefem

Of course you should ask for the money back. But first explain your side of the situation, and put him in touch with debt and bereavement counsellors. If he is spending all his money on beer and takeaways, then maybe he needs support from AA as well as cookery lessons. You can be compassionate, but let him get away with this, and things could well deteriorate.

forestlands

Get your money back and move on this is no friend you are being used! I have the Tshirt for this one came back from Oz to more debts, ex friend didn't worry at all, plain selfish on their part!! With friends like this! Enjoy Oz!