Real life MMD: Should I ask for my money?

den2907

Too right you should ask for it - check out his inheritance !

glossyhair

greenalien wrote: »

If you really want to be generous to your friend, give them the money as a gift, and forget about it; that way, you won't be expecting to get the cash back, thus avoiding the stress of worrying about it - and it will be a nice surprise if you are eventually repaid - ( any morally decent person will try to return the gift somehow, what goes around comes around and all that ) - and if you really can't afford to give the money away, you can't afford to lend it either.

I couldn't have put it better myself. :beer:

Talent

Hi, he is not your friend. He may have been one time but not now. Whatever you do will be wrong.... to him. You need to extricate yourself from the situation and write off the losses. Be very careful about the 'jointly and severally' advice given earlier, you can't just walk away, it has to be done properly and legally. Do not go away until it's sorted! It is very sad, for both of you and I'm not entirely sure I could take my own advice in that situation....

Evilm

I've had friends in this situation before that have not got people to sign things when lending them money and being left with no recourse when the payments stopped. Well done for getting something signed as proof.

You should ask for the balance now but be prepared for sob stories or reasons he can't pay. At the end of the day you may just have to accept the loss and move on as the only other method of recovery would be Small Claims Court which would likely be more cost in time and effort than you would get back.

hornywithab

You must ask for your money back. Wether you will get it or not will probably be a different matter entirely. However to avoid any more debt move out or move him out, and perhaps get a reliable lodger that can pay deposit to you, therefore you getting that and then hopefully you can move on from there.

rentinginlondon

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Oh. Difficult one. If it were me, I'd defer my travel departure date (if possible) to help my friend. Grief is grief.

If it were not possible to change my leaving date, I'd have to go - but I'd leave him in the flat to deal with the deposit and rent arrears.

My friend may be getting beer and take-aways because that is his comfort in times of difficulty or is currently unable to cope with properly cooking and feeding himself - and trying to come to terms with his loss deprives him of his ability to see the "bigger picture".

He had problems with money prior to his father's death from the sounds of it so it seems he is making excuses for himself. Only he is responsible for this actions and feelings, people making excuses for him will not help in the long run.

It's a difficult sitation to be in but I wouldn't trust him in the flat by himself i had to travel to australia.

You need to look out for your own interests first as from the sounds of it he hasn't been considering you. Yes he may be depressed and finding the grief of losing his father difficult to cope with - but he alone is responsible for his emotions and actions and if he doesn't wish to seek help there is nothing you can do.

If he can afford to buy beer and takeaways - chances are he can afford to pay your money back. Also depends on how one-sided the relationship has been - if he is take all type of guy then gives nothing in return he is unlikely to change. But if he has supported you in the past and you know this is just a rough patch and are willing to ride it out, only you can decide that.

pineapple

I would explain that I needed the money or I couldn't afford to stay and would have to leave. And what situation would he be in then?
I wouldn't take a friend to court however.
If necessary, I would cut my losses and leave - and perhaps try to get him some help as suggested.
What do they say? Neither a borrower nor a lender be. I would chalk this one down to experience.

rapido

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chinacup

Take it from someone who knows - the harsh truth is this: you won't get your money back ask for it any way to put your mind at rest - then just make your own arrangements and believe me when you are on your travels you won't give him a second thought and you will be having a new life and he will be stuck in the same place - we make our own choices:(- Sounds harsh? well I'm a 50+ female and Ive been there and done that - life's too short ..........

Irv_the_Swerve

Forget this money-write it off because you wont get it back.Its gone ,disappeared-get used to the idea and start making other plans for your trip. Finally,make this resolution. NEVER lend money to friends again(always remember what happens) You can't be tough with friends but you can with others.If a friend asks for a loan in future,just tell them your policy and that it would ruin your relationship.From experience, a good friend will always accept this.