Fallen out with my sister, she owes my husband money

Blackpool_Saver

My son over reacts in some situations too.

You haven't bothered me but your irritation comes through in your posts.
Sleep on it and lets come back to it fresh tomorrow.
I will look up this post then.

dmg24

Is there a relative or third party that you can both sit down with and talk this through?

Your problem has nothing to do with money. I would forget the money issue, it really is irrelevant. You need to work on your relationship with your sister - partners come and go, but your sister is with you for life.

Jeannie686

Thanks. It is just that she is being so horrible and before now I have never reacted like this, I have honestly done all I can to support her even though I have my own illness to deal with. I understand that sometimes she can't see past her own illness I guess that is part of the condition. But she just seems to me to be beaing mean and for once I guess I just wanted to stand up for myself. It isn't my money it;s my future husbands and he says that it is not worth risking my mental health for, but.... I'm just upset.

Jeannie686

As for working on my relationship with her we both spoke about this before and agreed that we would try, but it honestly isn't working for either of us. Either I feel like she isn't there for me when I need her, or she overreacts when I say something that I think is helping her. She thinks I am deliberately trying to be malicious. Maybe you're right maybe it isn't about money, but I don't think there is a relationship there to be saved anymore. I just didn't want her to take advantage of my husband that's all.

souwesterly

mabski wrote: »

a measly sum of £200......thats just my opinion

£20 is a lot when you haven't got it - £200 is a fortune to some people.

dmg24 wrote: »

You come across as very ignorant - would you be acting like this if your sister had a serious physical illness?

She does not come across as being ignorant.
She comes across as being a young lady with a problem that she can't solve. She's lucky to have found a good man - her sister is obviously jealous (and possibly a bit warped) and things have got out of hand.

dmg24 wrote: »

If you cannot afford to get married, why are you? You will drop the matter if it impacts on your health and your happiness, but have no regard as to what it could be doing to your sister? Can you see how selfish you sound?

No - she isn't selfish. Would you honestly cancel a wedding just to help a relative?
She obviously involved her sister in the wedding but now her sister has cried off - and dropped her in it.

Not all families are made in heaven and even siblings fall out. My wife hasn't seen or spoken to her brother or son since they "did the dirty" on her father at her mother's funeral. How's that for an example of family togetherness?

Jeannie - I can't help you, apart from offering my support. I can only suggest that you try the CAB who might be able to mediate for you.

And I can't see a satisfactory outcome here. Best to cut your losses - say "goodbye" to your sister and to get on with the rest of your life.

But, and I'm sorry to say this - get rid of her forever....otherwise she'll be coming back to disrupt your life time and time again.

BLT_2

Damn, I thought I had logged onto Martins Money Tips, I seem to have been inadvertently redirected to Jeremy Kyles web page:o

redpete

Jeannie686 wrote: »

This is an incredibly complicated situation

Not really. You and your sister didn't get on, you both tried to patch it up, it failed and you are out of pocket by a small amount.

This is money you'd already allocated to your sister as bridesmaid - as she's not going to be a bridesmaid just write it off - it doesn't mean anything else you've planned for can't be paid for.

All the legal stuff is irrelevant - you've said her threat is empty (but with that level of legal knowledge don't you also know that you can't really expect legal action to recover £200 to be realistic?).

PHYTHIAN

You choose your friends
Your enemies choose themselves
But there is [EMAIL="F@@@ck"]F@@@ck[/EMAIL] all you can do about your family.

IMHO there is absolutely nothing you can do about the money. You/ your OH did not 'loan' the money to her, you offered to pay for her to be a bridesmaid. Just 'cos she pulled out gives you no recourse to claim the money back off her. To me, it would be like asking someone to your party and then charging them a proportion of the cost if they don't turn up! I would also presume that you will appoint another bridesmaid in her place, how then is the money being wasted?

Someone posted earlier that life is too short. It is. You obviously need to sort things out before it goes too far. Maybe having more sympathy/empathy towards your sister might help; whenever you have mentioned her mental illness on here, you go on to mention your own...as if trying to justify something. A psychiatrist would doubtless call it Sibling Rivalry....she's got one, you want one too. Sorry if that sounds harsh but this line in one of your posts screams it out:-

Either I feel like she isn't there for me when I need her, or she overreacts when I say something that I think is helping her.

woody01

dmg24 wrote: »

My advice would be to learn more about your sisters 'mental problem', and see what you can do to help her get better.

You come across as very ignorant - would you be acting like this if your sister had a serious physical illness?

I agree.
Try to understand the problems your sister is having, and aso, try and help with your parents.

It seems pretty pathetic to fall out with someone with mental issues over a MEASLY £200.

only_mee

BLT wrote: »

Damn, I thought I had logged onto Martins Money Tips, I seem to have been inadvertently redirected to Jeremy Kyles web page:o

Glad you wrote that, was thinking the same tbh.