Some ideas please

freewayz

purpleheather2810 wrote: »

Hi again freewayz. I saw this website and thought it might be helpful for you. There is a guide you can download at the bottom of the page which looks very informative too. http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/money-worries/ xxxx

P.S there's a page about pets too - http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/what-about-pets/
xxxx

Thanks for that Purpleheather.....I will keep it bookmarked. My situation needs to change but I wouldn't say it is an urgent thing. I have time to get sorted before I do what needs to be done.
Hubby is not physical...he just thinks there is an easy way to get money...and acts as though he thinks he's doing what's best.
Not sure if that is really the case or not..but know he has on occasion made me feel guilty for not supporting him..in the end I look stupid and he carries on...but no more..:) I'll get it sorted...just not sure yet how to do that.
If needed my friends will help look after the dogs (they are all dog people with at least 2 dogs or more each...) so no worries there. My son (20) is helping with the sorting etc....it will take time but with a goal in mind it will be time well spent.
I will look into talking to someone though....as I do feel overwhelmed sometimes.
Just need to just do something ...anything to get things rolling then the momentum will keep it going..

Thanks again..

zarazara

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

judi24

I just had to say I think you are doing great - but I have a real fear that you are in an abusive relationship - abuse comes in many forms - one being control and not allowing a partner to have financial independance. I read a book associated with the Freedom Program called Living with the Dominator wich illustrated this perfectly - more information on the program and the book can be found here http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ you might find it interesting! I know I did - good luck

gonzo127

freewayz wrote: »

I am complicated by the fact I have dogs.( I also work in a rescue so sometimes my work comes home and a land lord would need to allow for that)
I normally put an advert in the paper and price range I am looking for and usually get quite a few answers.
I am in the process of de-cluttering my current house so I can free-cycle or sell what ever I can. So I don't have to bring too much.
I am a bit of a pack rat...I don't actively collect things...but I keep hold of it "just in Case" I want it later..:o..(like the hubby...:))
So when that is done I'll have a better idea what sort of place I need.
And I do drive but would like close to work to save fuel costs.

morning freewayz, hope you are good today.

as to rent, dont worry about complicating things just at the moment, just want to help you make a 'rough but reasonable' budget as a starting point, the practicalities of finding somewhere which will accept dogs is something that can be crossed later, so if you can find an average price of 1/2 bed flats in the area you are looking at we can just work on that figure for the time being. just so we can help work out a initial budget for you

freewayz

Just when I think things are looking up....they go pear shaped again!!
Hubby somehow managed to break the sandstone mantle on the fire place it fell and broke off the door to the wood stove. The mantle was not secured to the wall or the lower bit of the fire place. Landlord said because it was heavy it wouldn't be secured. Anyway now the landlord has given us 30day notice to leave because they say it was done on purpose (or that he had been leaning heavily on it).
So now the bonds that would have paid the cards off are now going to have to be used for moving and rent.
It brings up so many bad feelings towards hubby...cuz if had used the money he lost on a house like he should have....we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
Now I have had to put an advert in the paper to try and find a reasonable place to allow the dogs and that isn't too far from work.
I have spent most of the evening feeling like I want to cry and that I can't cope. the I had a cry and now I am a bit mad again at hubby.
I don't drink and I could really use one now!.....
Thanks for letting me vent. I will now have to find an alternate means to pay the cards....looks like I'll have to save the loan at the credit union in case I need it for the car in July...

Cheers

Geebee

Hi Freewayz, only just getting round to reading your thread now. Welcome aboard!.

I can only reiterate what has already been said, you are in the best place here to take control over your financial situation. There are loads of people that can point you in the right direction.
Your husband has taken control of the finances for way too long. He hasnt taken care of them though has he? or as you have stated yourself, you would not be in this mess now. I think the way he has manipulated you has also contributed to the way you feel, that you are no good with money either, yet in my mind, you would be far more capable of managing the money than he is. You are displaying a sensible appraoch by trying to tackle things head on, yet he is always searching for the next scheme to make money, which as already has been stated, does NOT work or we would all be doing it.
Just for the record - God does not reward Greed as far as I am concerned.

Keep posting, you'll be surprised how much it helps to just offload and put a new perspective on things.

Geebee.