Some ideas please

BLT_2

"says If I leave him and he hits it big I'll be sorry and if I stick with it God will give him his windfall he's looking for etc etc..

You might want to mention to him that God is a tad busy now running the universe and doesn't really have time to oversee the price of silver eagles on your husbands behalf :-)

Nottoobadyet

[QUOTE=BLT;32471175]"says If I leave him and he hits it big I'll be sorry and if I stick with it God will give him his windfall he's looking for etc etc..

You might want to mention to him that God is a tad busy now running the universe and doesn't really have time to oversee the price of silver eagles on your husbands behalf :-)[/QUOTE]

While this may sound nutty to your average CoE church goer, the truth is that the prosperity gospel (aka that material wealth is gifted by god to good Christians as evidence of their faith) is huge and very influential in the US an Korea. It has been promoted by televangelists for decades, and they have raised huge funds and supported massively opulent lifestyles by asking for donations from their flock.

Seems very strange to me and very far from the impoverished roots of the gospel, but the OPs husband is only one of millions that have been told by their church leaders that wealth is owed to them by the almighty.

freewayz

I certainly do not take offense at anything anyone has said. I agree.
I at this moment can't do a SOA as he knows the amounts and if I were to start asking questions he might get suspicious.
I was just treated to another educational conversation telling the value of buying coins over bars of silver etc.
I can't even be bothered answering back. I am tired of schemes. If he put as much effort into legitimate investments or even working extra...we'd be grand.
As it is I just need to learn and learn quick. As it stands I have zero confidence in any abilities I have to either make extra money or deal successfully with my own finances if the need should arise. I feel stuck.
There are more serious issues apart from money but I can't go into those here. I've convinced myself I'll be worse off and I think he has fed into it as well.
BUT I am slowly seeing the light.
Again thanks. I take no offense at anything said. But it is still going to take a while before I am financially fit/confident enough to do much.
I know where I want to be but have no clue which road will get me there in good time.
Are there people to talk to? about him and are they able to give advice or will they be the kind people who listen then ask....what do YOU think you should do?
Do I have to pay? Be referred by my GP? Since I started this thread and read the responses have made me realize I am really not coping...just hiding and that is kinda sad.

AHHH well...
Deep breath....head down and get the job at hand done quick as........

gonzo127

well i have to say although you do not think you are strong enough, it must have taken some guts to start this thread and you really should not underestimate yourself as i believe you are much stronger than you realise.

now although not exactly what you are looking for please take a look at this http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8483
and then this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/domestic_violence/optionshh_index2.shtml

although the second one states domestic violence i think some of the contact in there might be a big help for you.

and if you just need a rant, just remember we are here and will listen and will try and advise as best we can.

we will all also help you get your finances more in order if you can start bring together some figures.

some of the simple things could help such as how much do your earn? (if you work) if not go to https://www.entitledto.com and put in your details as if you was single (worst case senario) and we can give you some advise as to how you can/could stretch it

BLT_2

Nottoobadyet wrote: »

Seems very strange to me and very far from the impoverished roots of the gospel, but the OPs husband is only one of millions that have been told by their church leaders that wealth is owed to them by the almighty.

I understand he is in contact with the FOS at the moment, as they all failed to get him to sign in the relevant box when they loaned him the cash

freewayz

I do work and my take home pay is £1098pm.

gonzo127

thats great so now we have an income we can start looking at other things to start working on your potential outgoings,

have a quick check on rightmove if you can and see what sort of price a flat is to rent per month in or around the area you would need to be for your job, think about reasonable travel distance so put you works postcode with a distance of say 3 - 5 miles depending on if you drive

freewayz

I am complicated by the fact I have dogs.( I also work in a rescue so sometimes my work comes home and a land lord would need to allow for that)
I normally put an advert in the paper and price range I am looking for and usually get quite a few answers.
I am in the process of de-cluttering my current house so I can free-cycle or sell what ever I can. So I don't have to bring too much.
I am a bit of a pack rat...I don't actively collect things...but I keep hold of it "just in Case" I want it later..:o..(like the hubby...:))
So when that is done I'll have a better idea what sort of place I need.
And I do drive but would like close to work to save fuel costs.

zarazara

Hi freewayz,sorry to read about your predicamnet. Have to talked this over with a councellor,face to face? Try contacting the Womens Refuge,. It sounds to me that your husband has deep troublesome issues which are beyond the help of an ordinary person [yourself] to deal with. I'd contact the Womens Refuge,your GP ,Gamblers anonymouse and your local vicar or priest. I;d also seriously consider leaving him.Sorry to sound harsh but that is what I would do. And I know its very difficult but dont let your pets stop you in this. Take Care x

purpleheather2810

Hi again freewayz. I saw this website and thought it might be helpful for you. There is a guide you can download at the bottom of the page which looks very informative too. http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-women/money-worries/ xxxx

P.S there's a page about pets too - http://refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/what-about-pets/
xxxx