Some ideas please

freewayz

Right....
Not long ago hubby and I sold our house for about 300,000....we paid off everything and still had about 180 left. Hubby then decided to give quite a bit to charities (mostly t.v. evangelists) and some to the local church...all together he gave away about 25,000.
Then he thought the stock market was the way to go (after trying and failing with the horses) and managed to give some bloke in florida around 40,000. Who surprise surprise "lost " it all. Now this was supposed to be our new house money...I did not find out he had lost it until I found a house I wanted to see and he then confessed.

He had opened several bank accounts and got me to do the same in view of increasing our credit rating. He got me to open two account which issued C.Cs with a total limit of 1,300 each. Both are close to the limit and now he has an idea to buy silver eagle coins with the thought they will go up in value.

Since the cards are in my name and minimum payments are being made (plus a little extra when I can) I really need to know how to reduce these quite quickly so I can close the accounts.
Can I close them with outstanding balances with the understanding to the bank payments will continue to be made? Or do I have to leave them open and close them once they are paid?
I have cut up one card and do not plan to use it again....however the other we use for shopping and to fill the cars...with the original view to pay off every month...but that didn't really work out. And at the moment I can't really cut it up.
he has credit cards as well but for the time being I want to worry about getting my name sorted before he does something else (as with the horses,stock market and soon the silver coins). I am working full time but would also like ideas to make extra money with out taking on another proper job. I am not against it...but the only things I have ever done are the job I'm in at the moment and care homes. I've hurt my knee and shoulder so cant really cope with the rigors of care work (though I did like it).
I sold my caravan and apart from that don't have much else of worth.
I can do stuff like cook and sew and sometimes make a few pennies worth on those things but it's not regular.
I also have £1000 in bonds....I'll use it if I have to....but I'd rather keep it where it is as I haven't told him what I'm up to and he is keeping an eye on the bonds so would know if I cashed them in.
I could take a loan with the credit union as I'd rather pay those rates but I'd still need to find the extra money for that as well. Plus still save as I have my MOT and tax coming up I need to get a full service on the car and that alone could be near £400 or more.

Cheers and any question you need to ask to clarify anything just ask.
Keep in mind I am at this moment only concerned about clearing my own debts at this time.
I want to nip this in the bud while the gremlins are still quite small and as he always took care of the money (I give him quite a lot of my wages each month) I am feeling like I need to take more control so if he makes another mistake I am protected from any sudden debts.

GeorgeUK

Have you had a look at your credit file? Are there any late payments, defaults or CCJ's?

If not then you may be able to get another creditcard offering a 0% promotion. Possibly virgin as this has quite a long 0% period. Just make sure you don't have more than 3 credit checks in a 6 month period as this could reduce your credit score.

Karmacat

Hello freewayz, sorry you're in this situation. As far as closing cards on the understanding that payments will continue to be made, I think thats called freezing, and I'm fairly sure you can do it - but I only know about from on here, not done it myself. Talk to the credit card company by all means, I'm sure they want to know that you're actively working on repayment.

For extra money, check out Martin's article on the main site, Boost Your Income under the "Income" tab at the top, and also the board on this forum called Up Your Income - that gives lots of suggestions.

I'd suggest, however, that this has gone a long way beyond "nipping in the bud" - your OH has given away an awful lot of money, and I'm not just referring to the donations, sadly. It sounds like its *you* that needs to be in charge of the finances.

Have you heard the term SOA? It stands for statement of affairs - I never know the link for the one thats recommended, but if you search the forum, using the button at the top of the page (just below the bit that says "welcome freewayz") you'll find a link to the layout. Basically, its a really good way of setting out your budget, your income and expenditure. You need to know where you stand, and this is one way of doing it.

All the best.

tallyhoh

Hey, sorry to have to ask but is your hubby ok? he sounds like he has problems. I think you need to take charge of the finances....it doesnt look like he can control them at all.

If you check out some of my posts you might see where I'm coming from.

freewayz

He isn't as bad as all that....well he is BUT....He works and uses his wages to pay most of the bills. However every so often he gets these ideas of making quick money with schemes : Started with herbalife shakes, tried to sell vitamins, the sliver ingots, the the horses, stock market, rich dad poor dad seminars, the Whitney real estate seminars, bought into land banking and got his mother to invest a couple thousand pounds only to find the company basically went bust and for all intents and purposes the money is gone.
Now he says Rich Dad said in a seminar that silver is the next big thing..and has gone through and done a budget to see we have so much left over each month to buy coins.

Now taking care of the finances would seriously do my head in. I am forgetful and wouldn't purposefully mess things up but I have no head for numbers....which is where he gets me. He rattles on about money this and money that and we can afford this or that and to be honest after all his schemes I've stopped listening. At the moment as long as I can get rid of the cards in my name I'll be happy since we apart from those cards are not in debt as far as I know.

He hid losing the money for the house for a long time so I really can't say for certain. He just continued on as though nothing had happened.
Part of the reason I am here is so I can get a handle on my own money first and manage that well before I tackle the whole of our finances.
I've already closed half of the banks accounts he got me to open. And I really would like to know if I closed the accounts but still paid would that go against me or should I just leave them open until they are paid. I was thinking if they were closed then the temptation to spend against them would not be there.

Cheers and thanks for the answers so far they are helpful.

BLT_2

I 'm confused. You had 180,000 of which your OH wasted 65,000, that leaves around 115,000, but you are living off of your credit cards?

What happened to the rest of it?

tallyhoh

Banks will not mormally close accounts where there is an outstanding balance. How can they, they need an account to add interest to.

We keep our finances totally seperate as my partner also dreams of making quick money & gets himself in a total mess.

Although coping with finances migh do your head in, I think you really need to start making a determined effort to deal with them.

bargainbetty

Hello,

For a start, please stop giving him your money. You have to be in control of your own finances, and he is not living in the real world - sorry to be harsh, but it's true.

How about reaching a compromisde with him? Set up a shared account, that requires BOTH of your signatures to access. Each month, you put a set amount into it to cover the bills in joint names. He should also put a little more in to cover the £40k losses he made, and possibly to cover the donations he made with your money. He spent £65k - half of that was yours. He needs to understand that he cannot do it.

Once he has made a contribution to the fund and covered the bills. his money is his own. He can play get rich quick schemes, but make sure he knows that you will not bail out his credit debts, should he run them up.

Get rich quick doesn't work. We'd all be doing it, and this place wouldn't exist. Perhaps you should suggest relationship counselling in an attempt to rebuild trust and lay down some boundaries, plus to investigate this Del Boy Trotter attitude of his.

Good luck x

Karmacat

freewayz wrote: »

He isn't as bad as all that....well he is BUT....He works and uses his wages to pay most of the bills. However every so often he gets these ideas of making quick money with schemes : Started with herbalife shakes, tried to sell vitamins, the sliver ingots, the the horses, stock market, rich dad poor dad seminars, the Whitney real estate seminars, bought into land banking and got his mother to invest a couple thousand pounds only to find the company basically went bust and for all intents and purposes the money is gone.
Now he says Rich Dad said in a seminar that silver is the next big thing..and has gone through and done a budget to see we have so much left over each month to buy coins.

Now taking care of the finances would seriously do my head in. I am forgetful and wouldn't purposefully mess things up but I have no head for numbers....which is where he gets me. He rattles on about money this and money that and we can afford this or that and to be honest after all his schemes I've stopped listening. At the moment as long as I can get rid of the cards in my name I'll be happy since we apart from those cards are not in debt as far as I know.

He hid losing the money for the house for a long time so I really can't say for certain. He just continued on as though nothing had happened.
Part of the reason I am here is so I can get a handle on my own money first and manage that well before I tackle the whole of our finances.
I've already closed half of the banks accounts he got me to open. And I really would like to know if I closed the accounts but still paid would that go against me or should I just leave them open until they are paid. I was thinking if they were closed then the temptation to spend against them would not be there.

Cheers and thanks for the answers so far they are helpful.

As I mentioned earlier on, if these accounts are credit cards, I *think* they freeze the amount, meaning you can't spend on it, but you still pay them - if you pay them what you owe them, I don't see how it can be a black mark.

To be honest, you sound like attitudes to money, of you and OH both, are the bigger issue. I'm really glad that you've come on here to address your own control of your own money, thats great. And "control" goes from "do I spend 60p on that bar of chocolate" to "shall I buy that dress" to "no I won't give you any money".

I wish you the best with it all!

freewayz

BLT wrote: »

I 'm confused. You had 180,000 of which your OH wasted 65,000, that leaves around 115,000, but you are living off of your credit cards?

What happened to the rest of it?

I never said we were living off our credit cards. Well I have two credit cards from bank accounts he got me to open. We were using them with the intention of paying off the balance in full which didn't happen for what ever reason. And for the rest of the 115,000 a fair bit went on the other schemes I mentioned I only used the 25g and the 40g as examples because they were the biggest chunk. We also bought new to us cars for 2g each which we badly needed.

Hubby had put money in all sorts of places and I managed to get hold of the last 10,000 and he had another scheme and I honestly did not care anymore and handed that over as well. Hubby can be very persuasive and bordering on bully tactics...he claims to be a Christian and uses biblical quotes etc.
Also I am from the US originally and honestly haven't a clue still how things work here and says If I leave him and he hits it big I'll be sorry and if I stick with it God will give him his windfall he's looking for etc etc..
I can't be bothered....which is why I am now here trying to learn and get at least myself sorted so if he falls I don't go with him. I am really sick sometimes knowing what we had and that was supposed to be our house money. And when he says it's my fault too. he is right.
I want to get what is owed in my name cleared by any means and start saving/investing in sound products....
But I need help.

Cheers and thanks again for the help....looks like I'll leave the accounts open and get them paid then close them.
F

freewayz

Karmacat wrote: »

As I mentioned earlier on, if these accounts are credit cards,

Th accounts I closed were normal bank accounts with no CC's with them. I only have two accounts with CC's and the amount owing both together is 2500ish...As I said before I can cash in my bonds of 1,000 for a start in paying that off and I have gotten a credit union acc, and have borrowed and repaid to build trust with them so that could be an option to reduce interest and get the CC'c closed.

wrote:

To be honest, you sound like attitudes to money, of you and OH both, are the bigger issue.

You are very right in what you say. I am frustrated at the moment because I know it's stupid but I do nothing ...claiming ignorance. I need to learn and I hope to do that here.

Cheers
F