withdrawing a child from school?

Gingham_Ribbon

Well done.

You may be able to get school rates in some places, so that's worth checking out if you're planning to do day trips over the summer (and you get to go before everyone's piling in on their holidays too!)

System

dropped the letter in this morning and about an hour later i recieved a phone call from SENCO asking if the withdrawl was to educate at home or from medical reasons because apparently the welfare officer needs to know . i must admit it feels good to be rid of them .dd has got up had breakfast and straight away has started on the work ive prepared for her ,she is so relaxed and calm i dont know why i didnt do this months ago !!

Savvy_Sue

Is it not tempting to say "the withdrawal is because the school was failing my DD" and leave it at that?

System

im tempted to write to the chair of the board of gouvenors [sp] detailing how they failed dd ,ive written evidence of blatant lies and inaction .

daska

Hmmm...whether to keep it short and sweet or to include all the gory details? Personally I would do a totally unemotional statement of the provable facts (as you have written evidence of them) to the Governors, copying it to the Head, the SENCO and the Local Authority. Why? Because I am a strong believer that those of us who have the ability to make things better for those who come after should make the effort. Minor problems or one-offs which are speedily corrected and accepted as having been less than par don't require this but this is a case of repeated mistakes and buck-passing. Your daughter deserved better and any other children who need help which the school is weasling out of deserve to be given a better chance as well.

lindseykim13

It's just classed as education otherwise and it's none of their business how/why your doing it. Theres a template here http://www.education-otherwise.org/samples.htm (last one) which i used to withdraw my ds 3yrs ago as long as you've sent something similar thats all they need to know. After that it's up to the EWO or LEA to contact you direct it has nothing more to do with the school. hths

System

i did you a template letter and i must admit i was a little peeved that she rang me especially as she is the most incopmetant and has lied and mislead me for months. ive decided to do a factual statment with copies where she has blatantly lied and promised help that never materialised.

heidij1181

CHRISSYG wrote: »

meeting was less than productive basically its all my DDs fault because she doesnt remember things [may have something to do with short term memory problems] .the person from parent partnership asked about the dyspraxia help and senco could supply no information , they basically lied their back teeth off and the deputy head told me not to get angry when mistakes happen as i will stress staff and they may make even more mistakes with her !!
we got word that she will move to a special school asap ,we are getting the one of our choice .

im going through the same...my sons 10 and was last yr diagnosed with adhd and odd which hes since been medicated for but it hasnt really changed anything accept his concentration.... i never believed in these conditions and fought with myself for yrs as to why he behaved the way he does and tried to blame it on factors in our life..i have always been strict and it seemed like he was deliberatly disobeying me and making my life hell....he has never been able to get dressed without being told 10 times and i have to put his clothes in sequence or hell put boxers on top of trousers or clean on top of dirty!!,he goes to brush his teeth n washes his hands...things just dont sink in! tie his shoes,talk without shouting,follow simple tasks,tell the time and handle any kind of responsibility..even eating dinner at a table using cutlery is a skill he cannot master.he cannot be left unsupervised and has no sense of danger...9 weeks ago he was diagnosed with dyspraxia...apparantly he shows quite a few physical symptoms and has joint hypermobility and low mustle tone...they dropped the bombshell on me with no info and no support..id never even heard of it so since then ive been digging into his school life and ive since found out hes been bullied,punished for messy handwriting and trying to get out of p.e etc and still being treated the same as his peers..thing is hes so different and its getting more obvious as hes getting older..his self esteem is at rock bottom and he never has made friends easily so he wanders on his own or the alternative is sit in class n do work at lunch..i know the amount of one to one care he needs at home but school r just too busy to even notice his difficulties..the senco hasnt been doing her job properly and didnt even refer his for statementing till i kicked up a fuss..its disgusting how ignorant ppl are to these things...the only time he completes a piece of work is if he has one on one encouragment or he gets frustrated....i have recently got pips parent intervention programme.. involved and they seem to want to get things moving so he can go to a special school...i know deep down its what he needs its hard to accept but its the only way he can progress..he is very clever which meant its been easier to hide his lack of social development etc..im just trying to find out what help is out there for us...any imput would b appreciated !!

slobs

Aw Heidij1181 I feel for you.

My son had/has the same thing. Always been really difficult, embarrassing to take out. It's very tough to live with and they do need such a lot of steering. Mine can't do anything unless I tell him several times and can only do one thing at a time, there's no point saying "get undressed and put your dirty clothes in the basket", he'd get stuck at the undressed bit (if something didn't distract him before he even did that) and totally forget the 2nd thing altogether.

When he was 7 he was diagnosed with Diabetes and that really took things to another level! His behaviour went up and down with his blood sugar levels, high sugar meant he was completely out of control, shouting, bouncing around the room, unable to sit still, listen or do anything. It made school even worse than before. We had asked throughout his schooling for help, but they resisted, wouldn't refer him for statementing etc, just complained about his behaviour/attention all the time. By the time he was 10 we were getting called to school to pick him up most days early as they were unable to cope with him.
He had a bad accident at age 10 too, which left him with huge scarring and spent several months in and out of hospital. At this time we finally got our diagnoses of ADHD. They were very keen to medicate him, but I totally refused this, he was already on 4 injections a day and had loads of drugs/surgeries for the acccident, I really didn't (and still don't) believe that drugging them is the way to manage ADHD.

To cut a long story short, we removed him from school the easter after his 10th birthday. For the next 3 years we had him at home and let him do his own thing, he resisted all attempts at any formal type of learning, but spent a lot of time on the internet and watching documentaries - he knows huge amounts about nature and planets now! We worked hard on helping him manage his loud voice, outbursts, temper tantrums, routine etc and he became a lot calmer and for the first time, we were able to take him out for a meal and a day out without too many issues.

3 years later, we had intervention from his diabetes care team who decided he was withdrawn (haha, he is the most forward and embarassingly candid person I know - thinks nothing of asking complete strangers why they are fat, or telling them their hair looks stupid etc), and was having problems coping with his diabetes - so we had meetings and decided he should attend a special needs school for a while to try and stabilise him.

So he went for 9 months, did extremely well, the staff were amazing, they actually said he was so "normal", he didn't really need to be there at all, and after 9 months he decided he wanted back into mainstream school. He's been back into the local comprehensive for 6 months now, isn't behind at all on his work (no idea what they taught them for the last 3 years, but he hasn't missed much!) and is doing really well. He still has ADHD, still unmedicated, still can be a real pain at times, but he has more control and now that he's 15, peer pressure seems to be a lot of help too, he is now much more concious of his behaviour and how it will look to his peer group.

Sorry for long wall of text, just wanted to tell you that there's light at the end of the tunnel, and to do what you think is best for your child. For us, that was 3 years at home.

Gingham_Ribbon

heidij1181 wrote: »

he is very clever which meant its been easier to hide his lack of social development etc..im just trying to find out what help is out there for us...any imput would b appreciated !!

I'm so sorry to hear all this. You and your boy must be at your wit's end. Here are some thoughts.

Contact dyspraxia foundation. They can help with ideas and support.

It is worth finding out if your child is gifted as well as being dyspraxic. The NAGC will be able to offer advice and support. Have a look at this to see if any of it rings true. The support he will need will be different depending on whether he's only dealing with dyspraxia or also gifted with asynchronous development. (most of the things you mention could also be caused by this. It's really worth talking to the specialists at the NAGC.)

Slobs, your son sounds unmistakably gifted. Have a look at the link.

Also, Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults is a book well worth reading if you have a very intelligent child who is being assessed as having other special needs.