Keeping it all and wanting everything as well

Whiteknight

I would imagine he is hoping for some reconciliation which is why he appears to be letting her have everything her own way. One of the first things I would be doing is sorting out my finances, she has already cleared the account so he needs to make sure that she is not able to do this again. If he is paying for anything in the house (services such as internet/tv) he should think about cancelling them or reducing the level of service - why should he be paying for something he is not getting the benefit of!

As everyone else has already stated he needs to see a solicitor for legal advice.

AnxiousMum

If you can, get him on here and go to the child support thread - there he can see where many non residential parents have been disallowed from seeing their children by vindictive nrp's who use the children as a possession.

Fortunately though arrangements can be made that benefit the children, and that should be the ultimate goal - that the children's needs are met - by BOTH parents. There are many other stories on there of parents who do enjoy regular contact with their children - so it can be done!

atrixblue.-MFR-.

personally, i would of stay'd in my own home, taken my car keys off her, and transfured the money i earned to a sole account, then changed the direct debits to my sole account that I alone pay for nothing of hers! then notified bank that you no longer wish to be named on the joint account. taken her off car insurance so if she pinched the keys and took i would call the cops!

on a different note he probably feels like a failure to his kids and himself. and hopeing that if he does everything for her and gives her everything she'd come running back to him, my advice would be to move back into his property! weather she likes it or not. if the car is in his name take her off the insurance and inform her she is no longer covered to use it! go to a solicitor to arrange proceeding for access to the children, sole bank account not joint i hope! if joint open new account and transfure Direct debits. arrange maintenance for the kids, and be cheeky enough to charge her lodge for staying under my roof.

sp1987

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

personally, i would of stay'd in my own home, taken my car keys off her, and transfured the money i earned to a sole account, then changed the direct debits to my sole account that I alone pay for nothing of hers! then notified bank that you no longer wish to be named on the joint account. taken her off car insurance so if she pinched the keys and took i would call the cops!

I would partly agree here. If he really, really wants to get the best out of the situation he needs to play by the letter of the law here. Move back into THEIR (not her) home and if the car is his, continue to use it as his own, taking her off insurance where necessary. Tell her if she wants her divorce she is well entitled to petition for it. When the assets are finalised at divorce this is where whatever they squabble over becomes divided so he may use whatever he wishes until then. Until her and his assets are added together and divided as the court sees fit, they still own their independant property independantly. If it is his car that he paid for, it is his car, not theirs. The value may be split later or the vehicle awarded to her in settlement but that is a long way off. He should pay his salary into his own account and pay the appropriate child maintenance directly to her as calculated via the CSA website. He should then buy his own food and live his own life independantly of her in HIS as much as her, home.

If SHE wishes to legally separate (and reap any benefits thereof), she will have to go about it correctly. It'll take bloody ages. She deserves a good dose of work to rule. Just be entirely civil, polite and avoid conflict for the children's sake. They will soon see who the bad guy is out of their parents. Children aren't thick.