Off sick for 4 weeks boss insisting on visiting me at home.

chomsky_2

PaulusCliftus wrote: »

Well I was replying to vader that he obviously cannot read as I had posted what he said I had not posted before. Also I was asking for advice, not for people to 2nd guess my motives from what little information I've decided to share. I then edited as decided whats the point getting into an argument on a forum with someone who quite obviously is not worth my efforts.

And how do you know what I wanted to hear? All I wanted to hear was an answer to my question, not peoples views on a situation they know nothing about. Seriously, is this why some people use this site, to pass comment at other peoples lives when its neither helpful or relevant. They should get a hobby that perhaps does not involve a keyboard.

And I think it would be acceptable when they actually give a damn about my health and not in making my health any worse than it already is. Do you think someone who consistantly treats his employees like crap and uses them to fraudulently obtain business is worth getting ill over? They should accept my sick note for now, my doctor is after all a health professional, if they want to dispute it then they can get another doctor to give a 2nd opinion.

Seriously, I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself to you people.

If you don't wish to hear other people's opinions why did you post on an internet forum? Not being horrible but it seems that people ask questions on MSE and then get stroppy when they don't get the answers they want.

The problem is with forums and the like is that you only get one side of the story and only limited information so people are bound to second guess tbh. I'm sure the majority of posters don't mean any malice when replying, they are just giving their honest opinion.

You did ask what people think in our original post but it sounds like you don't like some of the answers you have got from the other posters. If you're unhappy with the advice and information you have been given here is there anyone else you could talk to about your situation, like a good friend or relative? You might feel more comfortable talking to them.

Hope you feel better soon and your situation is resolved.

PaulusCliftus

dmg24 wrote: »

If the meeting is going in the wrong direction, then you can ask him to leave, and you have not lost anything. If the meeting goes well, that is a bonus. Sounds like a win win to me!

I see your point. And if he did decide to carry on being a b@rsteward then I can take appropriate action. My concern is that I really do feel on the verge of a breakdown though and don't want to be tipped over the edge, maybe I'm already having one, who knows.

dmg24

PaulusCliftus wrote: »

I see your point. And if he did decide to carry on being a b@rsteward then I can take appropriate action. My concern is that I really do feel on the verge of a breakdown though and don't want to be tipped over the edge, maybe I'm already having one, who knows.

Appropriate action would of course be to ask him to leave.

To be blunt, it is pretty clear that you are never going to return to this job. Prolonging the situation is making you more ill, and even if you don't face him now, you will have to very soon. If it was me (and indeed, when it was me!) I would resign. You can claim ESA until you are well enough to work again.

PaulusCliftus

chomsky wrote: »

If you don't wish to hear other people's opinions why did you post on an internet forum?

Yeah I know, my heads abit garbled at the moment so I'm prone to taking things the wrong way. Re-read most of it though and even the stuff I don't agree with makes me atleast see it from my bosses point of view, even if I think his pov makes him a git. Mental health seems to be something that alot of people are not understanding about though, I guess I'm just unfortunate enough to have a good understanding from 1st hand experience.

jamespir

i think you should meet him

PaulusCliftus

dmg24 wrote: »

Appropriate action would of course be to ask him to leave.

To be blunt, it is pretty clear that you are never going to return to this job. Prolonging the situation is making you more ill, and even if you don't face him now, you will have to very soon. If it was me (and indeed, when it was me!) I would resign. You can claim ESA until you are well enough to work again.

Probably good advice.

But do you think its right if I'm unfit to work due to a situation he has put me in. I've not even decided what to do about him implicating me in fraud yet, decided I need to get my head sorted 1st. I took legal advice about the fraud and they advised me not to speak to him about it as he would quite likely remove any evidence.

lynzpower

OP have you asked ACAs about the fact that he has used your address to enter fraudulent bids through the tendering process? I wonder if they may have any views on this.

Personally I wouldn't fee comfortable with this at all.

chomsky_2

I know it can be hard to get your situation across in writing, I can see how you might be frustrated with not getting your problem across as only you know your boss and your working situation.

I think that you should meet with him at some point though when you feel up to it as the situation may well get worse if you delay it. Tbh your boss doesn't sound like the most reasonable or understanding from what you have said but you don't want to lose your sick pay, it would be awful to struggle paying bills especially if you are feeling low as well.

As others have suggested it may be in your interests to go on long term sickness to get better and get the help you need, what does your GP think? Maybe you could talk about this option with him.

I really hope you feel better soon.

dmg24

PaulusCliftus wrote: »

Probably good advice.

But do you think its right if I'm unfit to work due to a situation he has put me in. I've not even decided what to do about him implicating me in fraud yet, decided I need to get my head sorted 1st. I took legal advice about the fraud and they advised me not to speak to him about it as he would quite likely remove any evidence.

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation that, no matter what you do, you can't make it better. Sometimes 'winning' is being the bigger person and walking away. If you do resign, it would be worth asking your GP to refer you for some counselling to go through your work issues, and hopefully enable you to put them aside.

PaulusCliftus

Thanks for the continued replies and suggestions people.

lynzpower wrote: »

OP have you asked ACAs about the fact that he has used your address to enter fraudulent bids through the tendering process? I wonder if they may have any views on this.

Personally I wouldn't fee comfortable with this at all.

Yes, they said I need to bring it up with goverment agency in question. I contacted them anonymously to enquire if this 'hypothetical' situation would be fraud and they already have had a solicitor email me back requesting that I reveal myself as if it is not a hypothetical situation then its a serious matter.

With everything else going on in life at the moment I feel I really need to sort out myself 1st. I am actually furious about it though.