Off sick for 4 weeks boss insisting on visiting me at home.

Vader123

PaulusCliftus wrote: »

All I wanted to hear was an answer to my question, not peoples views on a situation they know nothing about.

You asked for views in post #3 and thats what you got.

Vader

paulwf

I don't think the meeting is the important issue here. OP from what you post it sounds like the job is stressing you and it sounds unlikely that you want to go back. If you don't meet with your boss I expect you'll start dreading going back to work even more and then you'll need more sick notes and the situation and your mental health will get worse and worse.

The sooner you confront the issue head on the better. If your illness wasn't work related and you had an idea of a timescale then I could understand putting off the visit. However as the job is the cause of the illness something needs to be done about it. You might as well get the talk over with.

Zazen999

If you don't want to meet with him, how does he perform his 'duty of care' and manage your return to work?

SueC_2

Uncertain wrote: »

I agree except, possibly, the last paragraph.

Depending on how you feel the alternative is just to dig you heels in, slow the pace of everything down to a crawl, rely on your doctor's support that meetings would be bad for your health and wait for the employer to make the moves. From what you say he may ignore your legal rights, mess up the procedures and leave himself open to a claim. However, don't underestimate the stress that can be involved.

Also, if you just resign you may find it harder to claim benefits.

The normal (financial) advice is not to resign on health grounds, let the employer jump through the hoops. But only you know how you feel.

But is any of this really what's going to be best for the OP's mental health?

In my experience dragging situations like this out has nothing other than a negative effect, on both the employer and employee. Sometimes it's best just to cut your losses and move on.

Nenen

First of all I am sorry to hear of your difficulties and can empathise with the extreme stress you are under. I have no idea of the legality of your situation but I do know that employers have a legal 'duty of care' to all employees.

I can also tell you about what happened to me when I was off sick for 8 weeks last year as an example of good practice... My employer arranged a 'return to work meeting' with me at our workplace on my first day back. This was the only thing I was expected to do that day. I had offered to go in and discuss this with them the week before my return (so I could start work on the first day back) but they were adament that I should not do this until my doctor had actually pronounced me fit to return. We discussed a staged return, half-time for two weeks then gradually building up. They also arranged (and paid for) an appointment with a private occupational health doctor who sent them a number of recomendations to help manage my return.

My union advised me that seeing an occupational health doctor was in my best interests as their recommendations, while not legally binding, would aid my case if I were dismissed unfairly. Are you in a union as they will certainly advise you and would also accompany you at any meetings if you wished. Despite my employers acting well, I can still remember how stressed I felt about it all at the time, how worried I was about losing my job and how 'invaded' I felt when they emailed or rang me ad hoc to see how I was. In hindsight, as a PP has said, I can see that they were doing their best to 'keep me in the loop' etc but when I was ill it just felt like they were checking up on me, asking questions I felt unable to answer and an additional pressure I couldn't face. If this happened to me again, I think I would ask for a regular weekly appointment for phone calls so I didn't feel under quite so much pressure dreading the phone ringing all the time.

As a PP has said if you do have to meet, please ensure you do have someone with you at this meeting. If you wish to record the meeting you must obtainand record his permission or the recording cannot be used as evidence if this matter does go further.

One further thought... the old 'sick notes' have been replaced recently and the new ones have space for your GP to give recommendations for your return, e.g. recommending part-time for a number of weeks or reduction in certain tasks or responsibilities. It is certainly worth talking to your GP about this.

I do wish you the very best of luck and do let us know how you get on.
Take good care of yourself.

dmg24

kurgon wrote: »

As a mental health worker I have dealt with this issue on two occasions. ACAS are not giving you the correct advise possibly. I do not know what your mental health problems are but if it is possible that they may continue for 1 year then you would be covered ny the DDA (disability discrimination act) and under this auspice, it would be considered harrassment for your employer to visit you at home while you are sick. It is also considered harrassment if they are contacting you at home while you have a signed sick cerificate. The only step that can be taken is for you to be referred and seen by an occupational health doctor. ACAS ar really good, but it is always worth phoning a couple fo times, as the advice can often differ, depending on who you get, and their area of expertise.

Rubbish. Whilst excessive contact may be considered harassment, a single request to meet with the employee to discuss where they are at is far from it. I really hope you do not advise your patients in this way!

Zazen999 wrote: »

If you don't want to meet with him, how does he perform his 'duty of care' and manage your return to work?

This is the problem, it seems the employer can't win either way. If they try to keep in touch with the employee someone will shout harassment, if they don't they will be chased for a personal injury claim!

SueC wrote: »

But is any of this really what's going to be best for the OP's mental health?

In my experience dragging situations like this out has nothing other than a negative effect, on both the employer and employee. Sometimes it's best just to cut your losses and move on.

I agree. It is to no ones advantage to prolong a situation that is inevitably only going to lead to one thing.

SueC_2

The employer / employee relationship is like any other relationship...

Once you stop thinking in terms of 'us' and start thinking in terms of 'me v them' the relationship is pretty much screwed.

You can drag it out as long as you like, make things as difficult for each other as you like, sling as much mud as you like, resent each other as much as you like, refuse to talk to each other as much as you like, build as much of 'a case' against each other as you like.

But honestly, none of these actions are ever going to make things anything other than more painful. For anyone.

slightlyconfused1

Hi

I think the advice to meet on neutral ground ie a coffee shop is excellent. My home is my refuge and I certainly wouldn't invite someone I am not comfortable with there. I would also strongly advise you to have someone with you. As your employer is, in part, the cause of your problems you would probably be quite stressed meeting with them and so someone else to support you and to take note of what is said is always good.

I would also take this opportunity to list the issues that you see as a problem and have added to your illness to give your employer a chance to address them. If you give him a copy of the list he can't then "not hear" your concerns. This will give him a real chance to facilitate your return if that is what you want.

Because you are not well you probably wll be very stressed about the meeting but it would probably be good for you to meet your employer and perhaps get some things sorted.

Best of luck

Uncertain

SueC wrote: »

But is any of this really what's going to be best for the OP's mental health?

Which is exactly why I said "However, don't underestimate the stress involved" and "only you know how you feel"!

I did however feel it was important to highlight the other possibility which may be more financially advantageous.

Cost / value is not for me (or you) to decide.

PaulusCliftus

Zazen999 wrote: »

If you don't want to meet with him, how does he perform his 'duty of care' and manage your return to work?

Surely its for when I'm fit to return to work? That's not for him to decide which he seems to think it is. I cannot tell him when I'm going to back right now.

Well it does not exactly matter anyway, as he is not taking on for an answer. So short of not answering the door and never leaving the house there is not much I can do.