Advice needed with the facts but no emotions

sueeve

Effectively you as well as he have guaranteed this money to someone that you don't even know. So you neeed to now every detail about the size of the loan, the reason for it and the financial as well as emotional history of the person. Keeping it to himself could be suspicious or it could be spmething more to do with your felings about hisother friends. But you need to know. Hard as it seems I think that you should ask to meet this pereson to discuss it with her. Then you will be clearer as to your next move.

Sugarhunny1

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Well to start with I would definitely be upset, this is sort of a big thing and the fact that he's keeping it secret would worry me.

That said I would also be thinking about the relationship. Is it true that you would have refused to consider it out of hand if he had spoken to you about it? I would have said no as this woman obviously has a bad track record of making payments if she needed someone to stand as a guarantor, not to mention that I didnt know about her and (as far as I'm aware, hardly know this woman)

Sometimes our reactions cause the situation of someone lying as well. Overall is he feeling very disempowered in the relationship? Did you sort out paying all of the debts without him really getting on board at any time? We went through the debts together and have worked well at making overpayments together.

These are just questions, don't take anything personally because it's entirely possible I'm barking up the wrong tree. I just think it's always worth looking at those types of accusations in the cold hard light of day to see whether they might have any foundation to them. Someone once said to me 'you're making a liar of me' and I understood what they meant, they were doing something they felt was right but couldn't tell me about it because they knew I would react badly. It's worth thinking about.

Could you try to have a conversation with him where you explain to him how all of this is making you feel? It is easy to debate moral rights and wrongs and for both of you to end up feeling you are in the right - but it doesn't resolve anything.

BTW I think taking the emotion out of it is completely the wrong thing to do. I don't think anyone can objectively say he shouldn't have been guarantor for her, but what we can say is that being upset about not being told about it is a totally understandable reaction.

Unrelated to the above quote now,

It was for a loan of 3K, I knew nothing of this friendship and cant understand how he could have done this without asking me. We are not married but living as such (or we were till I threw him out). Not sure where we go from here though.....

Unsure Sugar
xxx

Sugarhunny1

mrcow wrote: »

I'm shocked that someone would do this.

What on Earth was he thinking? I have no idea and cant comprehend it myself- there is no way that this is a normal "friendship" - if it was, he wouldn't have hidden it - and she wouldn't have approached him on the loan - she would have approached you both.

You do realise that he could have put your house at risk don't you? If she does a runner, then he has to pay the money himself, and they often ask for the guarantee to be secured against property. The amount was for 3k and it was towards a deposit for a house, this was as much as I got from him before I really lost it.

Who is the lender? The lender is flmloans.co.uk

Answered above....

Sugarhunny1

sueeve wrote: »

Effectively you as well as he have guaranteed this money to someone that you don't even know. So you neeed to now every detail about the size of the loan, the reason for it and the financial as well as emotional history of the person. Keeping it to himself could be suspicious or it could be spmething more to do with your felings about hisother friends. But you need to know. Hard as it seems I think that you should ask to meet this pereson to discuss it with her. Then you will be clearer as to your next move.

I managed to track her down and have spoken over Facebook with her. She says that she shouldnt have asked him but that he should have told me about this.

The loan was for 3k and towards a deposit but if she needs a guarantor for a small loan will the banks give her a mortgage?

mrcow

FLM Loans:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/dorset/7685783.stm

http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/flm-loans-c320122.html

NOT good people to owe money to.

I would say that the only way forward here (as far as you are concerned) is for her to get a settlement figure on the loan, get the money from elsewhere and settle the debt - and to then leave you and your OH alone......forever.

Personally i wouldn't settle for anything less.

[Deleted User]

To answer the suggestion that she should get another loan without a guarantor, unfortunately, if she had to get a guarantor for even a company like this, i don't think there is much chance of her getting another loan.., with or without a guarantor.

And it just doesn't sound right that she needed a guarantor for a 3k loan to help her get a deposit for a mortgage. As you have said if she needed a guarantor for a 3k loan, who on earth is going to give her a mortgage? Your partners wisdom in not checking out this company before signing as guarantor needs to be questioned (besides the sense in signing as guarantor without telling you.

At least if u are not married, u won't have to worry about them coming after you altho that is small comfort. If u have bought a house together and it is a secured loan, it will still mess things up for you two as a couple.

More information needed I think, and on a face to face basis so its harder to mislead. But not an easy thing to do with emotions running high, as u'd expect them to be.

Batchy

if she has a mortgage... then she should easily qualify now for a unsecured loan in her own name... suggest this...

you never answered if she was paying it back or he was paying it back.

If I did this for my mate, and decided to not tell my gf, then thats my decision, I wouldnt expect her to like it, but on the same level, I wouldnt think much of my mate if he said he couldn't do it for me if necessary, when im about to lose my house/ or business etc just cause his missis didnt like it.
If i did this for my female mate, and decided to not tell my gf, then thats my decision, and i'd know i'd have to live with the consequences if she found out (no i'd never do it, but still). No, self rightous girl would let you do it for another girl even if you spoke to them about it in the first place, and who can blame them. But who says you can't be best mates with someone from the opposite sex. If that situation exists then its different.

Fortunately, i'll never be in this position... but good luck x

Eager_Elephant

Oh My Goodness!!

As soon as I started reading this I knew the company was FLM.

I have a client who acted as guarantor for a loan his daughter wanted. She had one previously from the same company and paid it off ok.

This time round her partner left so she is on benefits and was unable to pay the loan.

Within days they received county court paperwork, daughter returns her paperwork making an offer of £25pm. My client did not return his because as far as he was concerned his daughter had made the offer and it was her loan.

14 days pass, CCJ granted with forthwith judgement. No payment received so 4 days later they apply for an interim charging order.

Unfortunately this is when they contacted my organisation for advice.

We went to court to fight the final charging order but the judge said he had to grant it regardless of our arguments which were valid.

So a guarantor who thought he was helping someone could possibly lose his house. I asked for conditions on the charging order and the judge said no it could be dealt with at a force of sale hearing even though they have teenage children.

My clients are so worried they are now selling their house instead of being forced to.

They have other debts as well so this is the best solution.

The worst thing is (although that is bad) that on the day of court FLM were texting the daughter offering her more loans.

They are an awful company and their website encourages people to seek out friends, neighbours & work colleagues to act as guarantor's.

Please get this sorted asap.

I can't really comment on the friendship thing but it sounds very dodgy to me.

EE