ever expected to get pregnant and just not?

narabanekeater

I too have PCOS and I know it can be a beast to live with and control
The largest thing thats ever helped me was to loose weight. I havent had a period in over 10 years and im only 29 now. During that time ive had my daughter whos now 5 after 4 years of officially trying for her and it took about a year or so with my son. The DR then put me on the pill which gave me artificially pill induced periods and twins which sadly I lost
What im trying to say is all is not lost. Change GPS and keep going back to the same one
I wish you every luck. I know diet and exercise had made a massive difference to me. Not just in the loosing weight but in my general health. We really did think my daughter was a miricle let alone my son

RLH33

Didn't want to read and run, I was in exactly the same situation as you this time last year. Got pregnant really easily with our first son and decided to try again so there would be a 3 year age gap. Came off the Depo injection (the source of all the problems as far as I am concerned) and waited, and waited, and tried and tried and nothing happened. Went to the Dr's who, after tests said I wasn't ovulating, got referred to a fertility clinic who prescribed clomid. That didn't get me pregnant but my ovulation did start to get back to normal so instead of going for IUI as advised was our next step we decided to play it by ear for a few months. Hey presto three months later I got pregnant and now have a beautiful 4 month old daughter who is asleep in her rocker chair as I write.

This took 2 and a half years of worry, distress and appointments, it is a horrible situation and I know exactly how you feel. People think you should feel lucky to have one but that doesn't stop you wanting another.

There is a 5 year age gap between my children but they absolutely adore each other, I did all you are doing now, I worried about the gap, I worried about him being an only child, in fact I had almost given up on having another and had started to come to terms with it as he was about to start school and I was planning on setting up a little business to keep me busy.

Go back to the Dr and tell them of your lack of periods and your worries. Also I found the website Fertilityfriends.co.uk a source of great support and information - I learnt so much about what treatments there are, what they are for and how to get them, plus it was helpful to 'chat' to people who know where you are coming from. Plus there is a special board for people suffering from Secondary Infertility, which is the technical term for what you are experiencing.

fly_dragon_fly

thank you for the last two replies x

74jax

I can't help you on the pregnancy side of advice but as for your son being close to another child you have, why do you feel this is gauged my how old they are? Do you have siblings around the same age as you? It's not something I have ever considered, and wondered what your reasons were.

My brother was 15 when I came along, so he was brought up as an only child and so was I (at 16 he moved out), I always idolised him, looked forward to his letters and calls, and when he came back home I'd have loads of presents from him! Now I'm 35 and he's almost 50 we are still unbelievably close, calling, emailing and texting all the time.

I hope you get somewhere with you consultant, and fingers crossed for you. x

BekahC

sorry i have skipped the posts here and wanted to say - i know how you feel (kind of)

my hubby has three kids and i never wanted a big gap - im still trying for my first 4 years later i don't really wanna go in to it all in public cos im new on here but PLEASE pm me!! xx

btw i have severe pcos xx

kmckee999

Hi dragonfly and all the ladies here :hello:

I was just having a nose at some threads as i use to be on the ttc thread and found your post. I too have pcos although not so severe but was ttc for over 18 months and in that time only had 3 periods, i was referred etc and tests were started but in the mean time i found on the net that some women had tried the herbal drug ' agnus castus' so i thought why not? worth a try!!

Coincidence or not my periods returned for 3 continuous months and i fell pregnant in december :j :j :j
I also in december had a salpingogram (flushed out tubes with dye for any blockages) and i had also read that some women had fallen pregnant after having that done?!

I hope something works for u soon

dizziblonde

We've been trying gone three years, no children previously and my BMI is still too high for any help from the NHS (not crying yet being a fatty - just a statement of how life is). You assume the plumbing's all there and ready, and just exists to annoy you once a monthish - then find out it's been installed by some cowboy plumber who disappeared off mid-job for a bacon sandwich and cuppa. Hard to deal with, very hard if you've not got any children - I find myself increasingly angry and resentful toward the rest of the human race right now, especially parents, I've removed various people as FB friends because I can't deal with the baby pictures and I just lock myself away from that side of life as much as possible.

As for differences in ages between siblings - there's a heck of a lot between me and my brother (about 10 years ish) - he's what my mother describes as "never believe a male gynaecologist when he tells you you're infertile" - we get on OK, we're not a close-knit family, some are, some aren't... look at all the drama over weddings, Xmases etc to see just how clearly the fact that you share chromosomes with people isn't an insta-guarantee that you'll get on with them.

As far as I'm concerned - they can't find anything wrong, I skip periods when stressed, but they've checked hormones and I am apparently, reassuringly, female; scans have shown that the plumbing appears to be there - nothing more can be done till I hit the NHS BMI guidelines.

After 3+ years... I'm flipping sick of all the sex to be honest!

belfastgirl23

Just to say are you sure your little boy isn't managing to find a way to get a bit of fussing over by saying he's lonely etc? I would just say that kids are really good at finding the exact right way to push buttons and he wouldn't be the first one to make a mountain out of a molehill to get their own way.

The other thing is that you might be also seeing it as a lot worse than it is because you're feeling a bit emotional about things.

Sorry I can't be any help on the getting PG thing but just wanted to say don't feel bad on behalf of your LO, I'd bet that when a new baby does arrive, he'll be asking whether you can send it back at some stage

trufflebuggy

You're definitely not alone, I always wondered whether I had PCOS very long cycles of varying lengths right from the beginning getting longer as I got older.... I never saw a GP about it as I just got on with it and as a teenager didn't have any of the nasty PCOS side effects (as I was very fit and active). I guess I also stuck my head in the sand and thought I'd worry about it when we wanted a baby. We started trying for a baby about 2years after we were married and fell pregnant the first month of trying :j...... So I think oh weird cycles are just me and not PCOS as we got pregnant so easily......

Roll on a couple of years and want a sibling for DS....... and it just didn't happen!!!! After a year realised it could only be PCOS especially with all the symptoms together! and went to GP for help (slightly lied and said we'd been trying for 2 years - to speed up process).... had all the checks, definitely PCOS......had all the tablets(clomid etc)..... no ovulation even on very high dose , tried reflexology, had my ovaries zapped.... no joy .... and all the while the clock is ticking and years are flying past and I really really worried about the growing years difference there would be if we did actually get pregnant again. I absolutely believed that a big age gap would be terrible for me, DH, DS and the family in general!!!! So I know where you're coming from.......

There is hope however as just when you and your DH come to terms with only having one darling child another quite unexpectedly turns up!!! :j DD is now 5 months old, born the day before her brother's 7th birthday..... must be something about 7 years cycles, or hubby's 7 year itch (that needed scratching :rotfl:).

I would echo another's comment about Agnus castus, I went to a herbalist in the august before I fell pregnant and started taking a potion which included agnus castus amongst other things, lost alittle bit of weight :T within a couple of weeks of taking it and felt the PCOS symptoms where alot better to! I stopped taking it in the November (largely as I didn't getting around to seeing herbalist for more), and in the February fell pregnant....... now I'm not saying it was the potion but we tried alot of things and the drugs just didn't work for us! Anything's worth a try, find a herbalist here http://www.nimh.org.uk/

A close friend who's children also have a similarly large age gap used to laugh at me when I said how worried I was about the age gap..... and said it was nothing to worried about and the benefits actually outweighed the con's, as the eldest would be there to help when needed, would be sensible and could keep an eye on the LO when you needed to have shower, and wouldn't get half as jealous as a 2 year old would when the new arrival came along, and could raid the fridge/make a drink if they were hungry and your hands were full!!

Although you don't know me from adam, I will now say the same to you, we're absolutely finding the 7 year age gap to be wonderful so worry not! DS absolutely adores his sister and loves her to bits, he was desperate for a sibling and especially a sister, and they already have a really special bond.

As the for Obs/Gynae consultants you need to make them take you seriously, as other's have said you can ask for medication to induce a period so that you can start the treatment..... mine actually given me Depovera along with the clomid etc.. to ensure that I had a regular cycle.... i.e. if I hadn't naturally had a period after 35-40 days I had to take these to bring one on (which was everytime!! ).

Keep strong, don't be fobbed off by the Obs/gynae consultants or the GPs.

I think I still have a bit of baby dust lurking around here somewhere.... sprinkle sprinkle.... to dust over you, good luck sending positive baby thoughts your way.

Steph.

fly_dragon_fly

thank you so much for the kind replies really means something, i tend to post in the wedding thread as the ladies are so understanding i glad most understand where i am coming from x