ever expected to get pregnant and just not?

fly_dragon_fly

hey

i have a 5 year old and i always expected to have another one before he was 3, having pcos and not having periods and realising that my son and any future child will never have a close friendship, hit me tonight and i have just been crying over everything now.

please someone tell me i'm not on my own this is so bloody hard

i was dealing with it but i have spent all day with 4 lovely babies but am extremely jealous/upset ( obviously not showing it )as my son just goes on about being lonely and having nobody and that hurts even more as he is my little angel and we give him all the attention in the world

jackieglasgow

Aww dragonfly, have a hug! I can't tell you what you should do, have you asked for a referral for treatment from your GP? My DSis has a 10 year old and was trying for many many year, like you, and eventually found out she has endometriosis, and "unexplained infertility" They would not offer her treatment as she had a child already. The meeting to tell her this happened in February 2008. Six months later my sister was pregnant naturally and my neice will be one next month. Almost eight years of trying. I'm not saying this will happen for you, but you must have faith.

Not to be patronising, but does your son have a pet? Maybe if your lifestyle supports it, this would be good for him. My two have been asking for a sister for years, and since we got the dog, she is their sister, and the pressure is now off!

Hugs.
Jackie X

Edited to also add that my OH's DSIS is seven years older than him, and they are very close. Even though we live thousand of miles apart, age is no barrier, I have a sis (the one above actually) who I could take or leave and one who is my favourite woman in the world, and I was equally close to both of them growing up!

daska

big hugs hun, no you're not alone.

and, for what it's worth, sibling relationships aren't so simple that you can second guess them in that way. I know twins who can't stand each other, brothers with 10 years plus between them who are thick as thieves and my son and his step-sister should by rights be daggers drawn but are actually best mates.

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry u'r feeling like this. It is hard. I have a 10 year gap between my two children. It wasn't intentional.., desperately wanted another child after I had my first but it took five years.., and then I'm sorry to say he had problems and didn't make it.

It was very hard to hear my then 5 year old saying he was lonely etc. Once he said it was all my fault.., u can imagine how it felt to have the child u would give anything say that given my own grief over the situation., but I did learn to accept the situation and, must admit, thought I would never get pregnant. I even stopped wondering every time my period was late.

And life being what it is, I did get pregnant then, at the worst possible time (relationship with the father was very iffy) but thank goodness, this baby was ok. He's now 4 and i thank everything u can mention that I was able to have another one.

The doctors did say that if u've had one/two, its likely u'll have another one i.e. u are unlikely to have fertility problems. I know fertility treatment didn't help me at all. It was a very stressful time but I now know babies arrive when they're ready.., not to your timetable he he! You can't make it happen.., it probably will happen, but in its own sweet time. The wait was well worth it and I'm sure it will be for you. I am very sorry I can't be of more help, I know it hurts.

Don't give up., try not to stress (altho I perfectly understand why, I used to do the same).., it will not change things.., it will happen when it happens and it'll be worth all the waiting.

fly_dragon_fly

i have always had pets ( dogs) problem is our flat wont allow pets so that is out of the window.

i have seen a gyno since i was 17 (i'm 21 now) she has never given me anything and everytime we do what she asks she requests something else.

she asks me to do a test you can only do after a period i haven't had one since valentines day and before that it was August 2008. because i am young she doesn't want to help. my partner is older than me by a few years so its different for him , he is so broody

fernliebee

Not much to add but there is 8 years between my brother and I and we are really close. Hope it happens for you soon.

[Deleted User]

Yes, altho there are 10 years between them my two son's are really close. Its just in a different way to what it would have been if they were a year apart or two years. Its no less deep and it still brings tears to my eyes to see them sitting on the bed together playing a game. Its not as different as u might think.

And there are advantages.., slightly less quarrels, my older one even tho he has ASD can be trusted a bit more around my four year old than I would be able to if they were of the same age (altho that has taken a bit of work lol).

angel81

Hi fly dragon fly

I also have PCOS and am currently trying for my first. I had a similar problem to you in that they asked me to have a test which could only be done immediately after my period (HSG), and I hadn't had a period since last August. I rang the specialists secretary who talked to the specialist and got me a prescription for norethisterone which induced my period. I suggest you ring your gyno or go to your GP and ask for a prescription for this

HTH

Angel81

MadDogWoman_2

FDF

I too have PCOS, I endured 8 years of fertility treatment to have my DD who is now 3.

The questions have started about another, I would love another and all the feelings I had before I had DD are slowly returning.

However, as I now have DD I'm no longer entitled to IVF on the NHS, but I'm not sure about the earlier stages of treatment.

Go back to your GP explain that you can't do the test. There are treatments out there. I had Clomid, Metformin, IUI and IVF.

samandona

What an earth are you talking about?!

I am female and have 2 brothers, one 9 years my senior, the other 18 years. They are BY FAR the closest friends I have. Age is of no consequence and never has been. Infact, I am very grateful that we are so far apart. I have learnt more from them than any teacher could ever hope to impart and I respect them almost more than my parents. If I have issues, I go to them. If I need advice, I go to them. If I need a cheeky £20, I go to them.

Why do you have to be close in age to a sibling in order to be best friends with them?!

tabskitten

What a load of tosh!? is your son destined tou be socailly inept already?!
just because he will not have close siblings by no means says he will not have close friendships, in fact i think he will be better off socially as he will have to make those friendships rather than take them for granted!!