The cutting out/cutting down alcohol thread (part 7)

penelopedee_2

4 AF days for me now please Miss P.
Thanks

graemecarter

69chick wrote: »

won't bore you with the details but very very blootered on Sat night, horrible night being sick etc all day Sunday in bed feeling absolutely horrible, still a bit icky....just sooo not worth it......don't want to say never drinking again, but I think I may have had a lbm and realised I don't want alcohol in my life any more....anyway am going to take it day by day and see

I know exactly how you feel. The thought of never having a beer or glass of wine again is not that easy to reconcile with myself, so I cannot say that I will never drink again.
I have alcoholism, and if there is one thing that many alcoholics do, it is that they drink!!

However, for today (and today only) I don't even want to drink. I don't need to decide about the rest of my life, as that's too far away, and I only have control of what I do, or don't do, in the next 24 hours.

Taking it day by day works for me (and many others) - however I need to ensure that I take some small measures to protect me today from desiring a drink. If I don't do that, then I will drink again in the not to distant future. I need to take responsibility for my drinking, and just hoping that I can conquer it by doing the same things again and again isn't actually doing any good for me.

115K

I had the worst night sleep last night. I look like carp today. I have dry and red flaky patches on my chin and my face looks even more puffy than usual. I'm looking quite a picture. _pale_

:laugh:

Marru

maman wrote: »

You did make me laugh, falling off the exercise ball marru, hope nothing hurt but your pride.

treepotato1 wrote: »

Slumping on it forwards and letting yourself flop and relax is good to do while you wait for the book! they really are great for exercise. you can also use them to do great form squats if you place them between your back and the wall....

boing, boing, boing....

I wasn't sitting on it when I fell, I had my feet on it, facing the floor, arms straight, hand against the floor and trying to pull my knees to my chest. After this failed attept I ended up sitting on it while watching Queen of shops, good for my posture But I think I will go and try that slump position before tackling the books again. Oooh - my brain hurts...why can't I study something more fun like canine behaviour? Perhaps one day...

fedupandskint

treepotato1 wrote: »

I was SO RELIEVED when I woke up this morning and remembered I managed to not drink yesterday. I would have felt so lousy had I drank.....

I used feellike this too and be happy when I realised I hadn't had a drink.

Now after almost 3mths AF I am used to feeling this way and enjoy it to its full potential

So much so it's started to make me realise 'will I like how I feel after a drink or 2 the next day?'

The answer is no - I feel I am moving closer to giving it up completely which is a weird place to be at for me. I've had plenty of thoughts of giving it up but never thought I could put it into practice. Now I think I am closer to that point because I keep remembering I don't like how I will feel after a drink and how much I will feel the after effects of 1 or 2 drinks.

The joys of waking up every morning after being AF are a joy indeed and remembering this is who I am without diving into a drink for company or to change who I am is a joy too

Miss_Piggy_2

Me again!

Car was dropped off and tesco shopping done and home again by 8.30am:T Now THATS a first for me!

Keeping lurgy bugs at bay with pills. Feeling livelier than normal:rotfl: Cleaned bathroom top to bottom and about to start on kitchen. I'm DEFINATELY ill lol!!

69chick - I'm doing ok on PMK. Only time I slip is when I've had a drink so going to try and be AF for a while. Clothes feeling slightly loose so hoping thats a good sign!

Marru - I saw Mary Queen of Shops too...wasn't that woman obnoxious! She was so rude to that man in the nice bakers...I'd have lumped her with a cottage loaf myself!!

Miss P
xx

brokepaolo

Morning !

Haven't checked in for a while, it's been a hectic few days to say the very least.

I went to a party on saturday night which went on way too late so was taking it easy on sunday just watching old films until my sister rang at about 6pm asking if I fancied meeting her at the pub for a quick pint. So I went there and she'd told she'd be in the outside area. I found a table and sat down, I thought I recognised the guy at the table next to me and 2 minutes laer, sure enough, my ex girlfriend goes and sits with him then gives me a look of absolute terror when she recognised me and they immediately left.

Then my sister turned up and said she'd just seen my ex arguing with this guy and storming off down the street in floods of tears.

Nevermind, I thought, it's none of my business so I had a couple of drinks with my sister and then went home to have dinner and an early night. Or so I thought..

I'd just had a bath and saw my phone had several missed calls and texts from my ex saying she was sorry for leaving so suddenly without saying hello but she was scared that things might be awkward between us and even thought that maybe I had spoken to her new man. I told her that I hadn't realised they were sat there and that I have nothing against the guy seeing as I don't even know him and that she shouldn't worry because I'm not going to cause a scene if we bump into each other again in future.

I thought that would be that but then she rang me and she was balling her eyes out over how she feels terrible because even though she likes this new guy, she still misses me and feels bad that we're not together anymore. I told her that I didn't know how to feel about that and that she ought to really sort things out with this guy as I'm sure he wouldn't be best pleased to know that that was how she was feeling.

Needless to say, I was left a bit confused by the whole thing and I really could have done without the drama which resulted in me staying awake way past 3am. She texted me yesterday and asked if I'd be willing to meet her for a chat this evening and I've told her I'll give her a call instead because it's still all a bit too confusing for us to meet up.

there's a voice in my head yelling 'exes are exes for a reason, don't do it!' but another voice reminding me of the good times we had and how I felt about her at the time.

bah, what a mess.

Marru

I wish I had the answer for you. You can only go with how you feel about it all and also what are your goals in life at the moment and would being with this person help you towards them or push you away from them.

Just a little story from my past. Shortly after I had been diagnosed with the depression and I was struggling with the medication now ex managed to start an argument (again). When I tried to walk away from the argument he followed me and called me a piece of !!!!!! from the gutter. I am not a violent person but I can swear that if I had had a gun at hand that point one of us would be dead. Funny how as soon as I decided to leave all the dizziness that I thought the pills caused disappeared.

Did I say that I am revising? Ooops...

brokepaolo

Marru wrote: »

I wish I had the answer for you. You can only go with how you feel about it all and also what are your goals in life at the moment and would being with this person help you towards them or push you away from them.

...

Thanks Marru, you've hit the nail on the head (in a non violent way, of course).

Our relationship began to flounder becase she was hellbent on buying a flat and was disappointed that I didn't have the same ambitions as her. Of course it didn't help that I was a bit of a party animal but even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have been able to afford to buy a flat anyway. We also had very different working hours, she's a nurse and is often working nightshifts so finding time to spend together was always problematic. I also needed to sort my debts out and I never told her the extent of them because, unlike me, she was very good at managing her finances whereas I was a disaster and I felt too ashamed to talk to her about it.

Now that I'm finally sorting my finances out and stepping back from the party lifestyle of previous years, I'm starting to feel better about my future and would obviously like to have someone to share it with. Ironically, my ex has bought a flat which is a mere 5 minutes walk from my house and there are 5 other friends of mine who have bought flats in the development so the chances of us bumping into each other have increased immensely.

I don't harbour any illfeeling towards her because I know I was often a nightmare but I still think the massive difference between how our respective lives are going might prove too much for things to work.

Last year I ignored my problems because I thought being with her was all I needed to be happy, but towards the end, I realised that I wasn't really happy at all, I was just running away from the problems and that needs to stop. I probably still need to devote a little more attention on sorting my own life out before I can enter a relationship, whether it be with her or anyone else for that matter.

either way, I most certainly don't want to get involved in splitting a couple up.

maman

:hello: only you can know how to handle this bp but my take would be: although you have shared good times with your ex, she sounds a bit 'on the edge' at the moment and I think as you need to keep control of your own life just now then don't go there, too complicated.

Hope everyone's having a good day. Well done on your nocturnal visit to Tesco MissP. Are you still on for the 2.5mile hike?