stay at home dads

Keeping_Positive

Had a role revesal for 11 years now and its worked ok. We still argue at things but who doesnt its just the other way around! It can be more difficult for a man to find adult company as another poster mentioned Mums and Tots may be not be called that anymore but ultimately thats what they are.

I enjoy working although do feel the pressure of being the main earner at times and I do miss the kids on occasion.

TeetersOnHeels

I went back to work after Maternity Leave and DS's dad was a SAHD (not through choice, he was medically unfit for work from an accident). This was fine until 2yrs down the line when we seperated...SmartPicture hit the nail on the head in an earlier post....Ex went for residency and got it, as he had been my son's main carer. I spent 8yrs seeing DS only at weekends, until DS was old enough to express his point about where he wanted to be.
If it is going to make your lives happier, and content then give it a go - it could be the best decision for all of you.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Lotus-eater

If it works for you, then it works, stop worrying about what anyone else thinks and stick a mental middle finger up at anyone who thinks anything bad.

I'm a SAHD, I've never come across any out and out !!!!!iness from women in groups, but it is difficult and you don't fit in as well as a woman would.
I have my woman friends with kids and my OH can take that, she's not jealous in the least, but I think it is difficult for the woman to leave her kids, but as the women on here keep saying, we're all equal now..... so what's the problem?

Triggles

I don't see any problem with a SAHD. For DH & myself, we discussed this as an option, as we both had relatively equal paying jobs prior to having children. For us, it was a simple matter of who was most comfortable dealing with the daily stresses of kids and the household. That person was me. If, however, it happened to be DH, then he would have been the one staying home with the children. I think it's an individual choice based on your own family's needs and skills. I wouldn't find it odd that a father stayed home with the children and the mother worked full time.

squashy

Well, we love it!

It happened by accident really as I was a SAHM then hubby found himself out of work, I started job hunting for a part time job to tide us over then found an ideal job- but it was full time. So we took the plunge and I got the job.

It actually suits our personalities really really well. I am a good "worker" and have a better earning capacity, and I love doing activities with the children. I am not so keen on pushing a hoover about and picking up after people all the time (I'm not saying anoyone actually does...but to some it comes as second nature as in pottering about without thinking. With me it has always taken a considerate amount of effort to "go and clean up") My Husband on the other hand is a natural housewife . He runs a tight ship though: his day consists of
- Making packed lunches
- Seeing to children in the morning- breakfasts etc then school run
- Walking the dog and taking smallest to the park or playgroup
- Lunch for himself and small then
- Housework/shopping/garden/laundry/prepare evening meal
- School pickup then wait for me to finish work and drive us all home
- Make evening meal
- Drive children to various activities
- Bedtime routines
- Finally sit down!

My day is much easier, as I sort out my own breakfast and packed lunch then go to work, come home and do homework with kids, eat tea, bring washing in from outside, clean up after meal, help tuck the children in (apart from small who is up much later so I am reading/playing with her until about 9.30pm before I take her up to bed) then relax/sleep! My concession is that on a Saturday I do try and give hubby a "day off" so I will do stuff for/with the kids all day. Sunday we kind of work as a team.

My DH doesn't mind running the house at all, in fact he makes a big joke of it and loves the attention it gets him from all the breakfast club ladies at school :rotfl:The only thing he says gets to him is that he feels guilty that I am having to go out to work and "provide".

My suggestion would be to decide at the beginning what each person will be expected to do. I feel my husband does a lot to be honest, more than I would expect him to but he tells me off if I try and help. Although I suppose in fairness there are women all over the UK that do exactly what he does and a lot more besides.

We definitely wouldn't change anything, even if my husband were offered a good job tomorrow.

bugsaboo

squashy - thanks so much! That's what I'm like - really is an effort for me to tidy but DH just does it. House is always a tip if he goes away....
How have you found going back to work full time? any regrets there or doe the positives outweight the negatives?