MSE Parents Club Part 12

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

*sneaks in*

Hello!

< was here the whole time :whistle:

hello! you doing ok?

aless02

Fitzio wrote: »

Aless - poor you with your night time wakenings. I think that the only way to do it is if you and DH agree your plan of action first. I had Holly in the spare room again last night too as she woke up around 2am and I hadn't even fallen asleep by then! She just wants to cuddle in and will go back to sleep fine though so it is easier as well as being nice! But I am going to tackle it soon.

Have you thought about putting Finn to bed a bit later? What time do you put him down? I am sure you have been putting him to bed pretty early since he was quite young. Maybe letting him stay up a bit later would be better and then you can work backwards again knocking half an hour off every few days? When Holly went to bed at around 10pm, she always slept through til morning!! I miss those days lol. x

Thanks, Fitz. I'm not entirely sure what the problem is (of course, because if I did, I would fix it!). The wake-ups are generally uneventful and he will settle back down fairly easily - so I'm inclined to think it's not so much an I-want-mama thing as a I-woke-up-and-need-help-getting-back-to-sleep-okay-there-we-go-zzzzzzzz, which the usual culprit is EITHER undertired or overtired! :eek: So it's a bit of experimenting to figure out which of the 2 it is. I will add putting to bed later on the list of things to attempt - the first thing I'm going to try is cutting back on naps, as doing some reading they are on the high end for his age so maybe he needs less day sleep but none of us have realised (not even him, because he takes them quite easily).

Off to a friend's house in a bit...not sure I want to, since I know for a fact she didn't have any sleep problems with her LO. :p but maybe he can teach Finn a thing or two in secret baby talk! :rotfl:

Eta: also, we do generally have a plan of action in the night, but sometimes it goes out the window when DH wakes up in one of his ogre moods, which happens occasionally.

Also, hi Beenie! How's Amber?

csh_2

C'mon Krystal spill so we can all be :eek: :eek:

BrunoM

Fitzio wrote: »

Bruno - What are Mrs Bruno's reasons for still BFing? Does she still get anything out of it herself, or is she doing it because she would feel guilty if she stopped? I am just trying to understand (not making any judgement) as I obviously haven't been in the situation myself. I thought it was partly a bonding thing between mum and baby, so if it's causing distress, then it sounds like it is having the opposite affect now and being destructive of their bond which kind of defeats the purpose. I am not sure I am expressing this very well.

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

Bruno- FWIW I think Fitz's question is a good one. Is OH's primary motivation for still feeding E that it is an embedded part of his routine, or is it the bonding question, or that she is a firm believer in the health benefits or something else? I think answering this will help you develop a way forward. If it's the routine then maybe you giving him a cup of milk and a snack instead may help. If it's bonding then maybe OH can replace it with a story and cup of milk or similar and if she wants him to continue to receive the benefits then maybe express. It's a tough one, but I know when I was pregnant I couldn't have coped with feeding as well. It must be very energy draining too- I do still think BFing can be a bit draining and when I was pregnant I simply wouldn't have had any spare energy.

Thanks Fitz, SS and GISI and others. All good questions and observations!
I think that at this stage the main reason for BF is because it's a heavily entrenched part of the routine.

We had been working on the theory that 'at some stage' he would self-wean, perhaps when milk changes due to pregnancy, and that that would make things a lot easier than if we tried to break him of the habit when he didn't want to.

He is BFing a lot less now in fact, and it's pretty much only in conjunction with nap and bedtime. However it is always 100% the last thing that happens before bed, and always the last thing before nap unless he falls asleep in a moving car.

We think we're going to try to insert milk in a cup into bedtime routine, at first before BF, then hopefully somehow replacing it. We're just afraid of breaking a routine that mostly-almost-has been working and tearing things down to build them up again so hoping for a gradual transition instead of a huge drama!

While I am here just to say hugs and sympathy for the numerous people having bad sleeps at the moment! How very frustrating it is fingers crossed things change for the several sufferers asap, it really takes it out of you...

BeenieCat

csh wrote: »

hello! you doing ok?

Aye, been down in the dumps but thought it was best i come back so you can all kick me up the bum so i'm not moping around. Tried back on my tablets but they make me properly suicidal so balls to that lol!

But i didn't come to moan

And i want to know Krystal's :eek: :eek: thing too

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

Aye, been down in the dumps but thought it was best i come back so you can all kick me up the bum so i'm not moping around. Tried back on my tablets but they make me properly suicidal so balls to that lol!

But i didn't come to moan

And i want to know Krystal's :eek: :eek: thing too

*big run up and kick in the rear*

Have you been back to the GP about the tabs?
Anything happening with the housing situation?
Whats the current pushchair situation :cool:

got-it-spend-it

aless02 wrote: »

Thanks, Fitz. I'm not entirely sure what the problem is (of course, because if I did, I would fix it!). The wake-ups are generally uneventful and he will settle back down fairly easily - so I'm inclined to think it's not so much an I-want-mama thing as a I-woke-up-and-need-help-getting-back-to-sleep-okay-there-we-go-zzzzzzzz, which the usual culprit is EITHER undertired or overtired! :eek: So it's a bit of experimenting to figure out which of the 2 it is. I will add putting to bed later on the list of things to attempt - the first thing I'm going to try is cutting back on naps, as doing some reading they are on the high end for his age so maybe he needs less day sleep but none of us have realised (not even him, because he takes them quite easily).

Off to a friend's house in a bit...not sure I want to, since I know for a fact she didn't have any sleep problems with her LO. :p but maybe he can teach Finn a thing or two in secret baby talk! :rotfl:

Eta: also, we do generally have a plan of action in the night, but sometimes it goes out the window when DH wakes up in one of his ogre moods, which happens occasionally.

Also, hi Beenie! How's Amber?

I know this is totally unhelpful, but I'm not sure there is any reason or rhyme to a lot of night waking. I think a lot of it is them waking up like we do in the night, because we need to roll over or stretch or whatever, then as Aless says they struggle to settle themselves again. I also wonder if some of it is that they don't know how to make themselves comfortable again on their own without being picked up and put down again. Probably not very helpful, but just my own theory on it.

:hello: Beenie. How's the apple? I ordered a petite star zia and am waiting impatiently for it to arrive.

BeenieCat

csh wrote: »

*big run up and kick in the rear*

Have you been back to the GP about the tabs?
Anything happening with the housing situation?
Whats the current pushchair situation :cool:

No, cos i keep putting it off.

The HELLHOLE situation... haha well... The Goonies were banging as they do, noisy fooktards that they are. So my DS banged back. And Mr Goonie banged back BLATANTLY on purpose and i thought my wall was going to fall down. So down came a red mist and i RAGED and went round next door effing and blinding and screaming at them. The !!!!!!!! was trying to come and batter me but his wife pulled him away.

So the next day the housing officer bint came round (they'd rang her and made a complaint about me). I was like get fooked i think i've done well for this to have gone on 9 months til i lost it!!!!! Anyway i had a proper go at her aswell and said i'm not happy about the way any of this has been handled and that i'm seriously thinking of going private i'm not being taken seriously etc. Not that it did any good cos nothing has changed and they#re still being !!!!!!! noisy and it's making me want to kill myself. :mad::mad::mad: They keep making the HO feel sorry for them "cos they can't live in their house as normal". Umm i've lived here 7 years "normal" with "normal" neighbours til they !!!!!!! moved in and THEY managed to not make all this noise.

And that night, the other side!!!!! had their thunder racing war games on full blast so i went all psycho again and properly goosed my wall in and the docile muppet knocked on the door to be greeted with YOU EFFING IGNORANT INCONSIDERATE W****S I'M EFFING SICK TO DEATH OF THIS!!!!!!!! ETC. He didn't know what to say but he didn't really gt chance cos i was in such a rage i felt like i wasn't properly in control of myself :eek: I slammed the door in his face and raged for days. At least they !!!!!! after that (for about 12 hours), the other side brazenly don't bother now.

I have 9/10 months of 24hrs a day pure ANGER built up inside me and god forbid if they say something to me in the street. And while i type this they're at it worse than ever ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Omg rant.

BeenieCat

Amber has a tooth!! Noticed it poking through yesterday!

I sold the Apple, and have bought a Joolz. I went to M&P and loved it. It's not here yet though... should be on Weds.

got-it-spend-it

Yay for Amber's tooth and yay for the Joolz! I hope it's fab.