Would this have made you angry or upset or even complain ?

Blackpool_Saver

I understood the term 'looked after child' referred to a child in social services care rather than a residential care/nursing home, anyway I too think the call operator could have put it better.

Blackpool_Saver

Invasion wrote: »

This website is helpful and friendly, I don't think anyone has made inappropriate, rude, or unfriendly comments.

This website is representative of the public as a whole, a VERY mixed bunch of people.

Broken_hearted

I would let it pass you have much worse to come when he becomes an adult and even the small amount of help you get disappears.

elfen

The handbook suggests it because in the majority of cases it is true. I used to work for a company who owned six or seven small (3-4 client) homes and used to work in what was considered the most challenging, due to the severe ASD aspects each client had, and also the level of institutionalisation in the clients, and also repairing the mistreatment of previous homes (one client used to be hosed down with a cold hose instead of being washed, and was also known to be unintentionally violent - he was known to have pushed one member of staff down the stairs and attack others)

OP, I think in one sense you have been offended by this comment, but they are only remarking as it is rare to find people with determination and a spirit strong enough to be able to look after a severely disabled person in their own home.

I get DLA, I am considered a danger to myself and others.....luckily it's starting to get under control, but will never go completely, or be under control completely, but there's not a lot I can do. Yes, the questions on the form offend and upset me (suicidal tendencies, self-harming behaviours, being able to do little for myself most of the time, needing supervision) but I still answer them, as I need to for them to be able to assess me properly (As did the woman at my ATOS medical who looked at me when I burst into tears part-way through)

From what I have read, no-one has made a inappropriate/rude/unfriendly comment, but more tried to expand on why what was said to you was said.

JC9297

Elfen, you are talking about adults, not 12 year old children. Most parents care for their children at home, but also recognise that when they reach adulthood it is usually best for all concerned for their "children" to leave home (as any other person would) and to hand over the responsibility for their care.

Vicky123

I think it's quite puzzling because there are not many 12 yr old children with autism in care homes, in fact very few, most are cared for at home by their parents.
I would agree though with ONTW in that there are so many battles, and I speak as mum to 2 children with autism the youngest is severe, don't get me wrong I do challenge people but in this case I would just put it down to ignorance and move on.

SingleSue

Mum2twins98 wrote: »

Fair enough ... but my child does matter and i thought this website was helpful and friendly ... People need to read the question 'Would you have made a complaint' a simple no or yes would have done the trick ...

My answer as a parent to two autistic children, one complex the other more high functioning......No.

As DMG says, difficult and sometimes uncomfortable questions do need to be raised and although we may think they are the wrong questions, there is method in their madness.

[Deleted User]

Mum2twins98 wrote: »

Personally yes i am .. This was a helpline there to pass information on not tell me about care homes and questioning my child's autism, he isn't a doctor

But neither i assume are you?it is perfectly possible that your son may have been in a care home,they are not to know.
I suggest for your own peace of mind you either forget what was said,or stop moaning on a forum and get on with the complaint(which imho isnt justified).

AsknAnswer2

covlass wrote: »

DLA handbook states that people with a severe degree of autism are more likely to be in care.

Why does it state this, that's what I would like to know. I am sorry but if any one said that to me I would be so mad.

That is something that only the people who wrote the handbook could answer, and it's highly unlikely they would answer this in a forum.

If someone said that to me about my child, it wouldn't make me mad. It would make me exceptionally proud to be a parent who has the patience to provide the loving care that my child needs and who doesn't place them in care. It would make me grateful that I have the ability to care for my child at home where many cannot. Who spends every single day making life a worthwhile experience rather than stepping aside to allow a care facility to do it.

What would make me mad, and has made me mad in the past is the suggestion that a disabled child should bein care.

Mum2twins98

woodbine wrote: »

But neither i assume are you?it is perfectly possible that your son may have been in a care home,they are not to know.
I suggest for your own peace of mind you either forget what was said,or stop moaning on a forum and get on with the complaint(which imho isnt justified).

Moaning sorry never have,we do not even have help off anyone respite or other, of course they know he isn't in a care home else the form would state this, You didn't even read my question i said 'would this have made you complain where did i say i was ?