Feeling dangerously depressed

Norfolk_Jim

Good morning you kind people. I didnt go straight home in the end, I went and sat in the car park at Sainsburys and ignored my mobile for a few hours. It isn't like me not to be on time. Went home in the late evening and Mrs was being very quiet, didn't ask where I had been and wasn't asking for the bike any more.
It would have been the third one in 12 months - If anyone remembers my old posts, Mrs has an OCD type mental illness that manifests as a desire to aquire. Once its been got, all interest in it goes and something else, often the very same things becomes the next object of desire.
For anyone who remembers me, I am still recovering from my own breakdown. It appears I had not taken my tablets for I dont know how many days, it just slipped my attention after a couple of years of taking those things.
Its time to go get the kids up for school now. but thanks for your postings, I do appreciate them.

JohnD76

Hi Jim,

It is worth seeing if you, either individually or with professional help, can convert your wifes unrelenting desire to acquire goods to the desire toacquire money in the bank, in the form of savings.

I go through phases of wanting to buy things all the time and this technique has worked for me, though I do sometimes still fall off my self imposed wagon.

Does you wife know your financial situation and what this means if you were to lose your job or if you wanted to move house/send your children to university etc?

I feel you need to sit down with her and go through all this and also show her how long it will take to pay off the credit cards at minimum payment and what wouold happen to your mortgage payments if/when interest rates go up.

My lightbulb moment came when I realised to pay off one of my numerous credit cards, it would take me something rediculous like 70 years and cost tens of thousands in interest. :eek:

Something like this may help show your wife to actual cost of buying impulse purchases on credt cards:

http://www.aie.org/Managing-your-money/Credit-cards/true-cost-credit-calculator.cfm

I am sure there are better ones, since this is in dollars, but it illustrates the true cost of purchasing on cards and repaying the minimum amount failrly well.

All the best Jim, we are all thinking of you matey.

John.

gabriella90

Hi Jim,

Sending you lots of support, please as others have said go and see your GP and seek some help. If you still love your wife fingers crossed you can work through this together.

If your debts are out of control, when you have the strength maybe you can give the CCCS/Payplan a call to set up a DMP.

There is lots of support on here and outside.

Good luck Jim

mazza25

Hi Jim, I don't think I can add anything to all the good advice you have been given, other than give you my support. You sound like a lovely man, trying to do the right thing for everybody else, but you really must try to do the right thing for yourself too.
I hope you can find the solution you need and please don't ever feel you are so alone, everyone is here for you in the way we can be, over a forum. Whether you need us for advice or someone to vent at, it makes no difference, we are here.

savingwannabe

Hello thank goodness you are ok, we have all been thinking of you. My doctor said that the strongest people get depression because they don't walk away from problems and can wear themselves out trying to solve them. 1 in 4 people has it at some time or another. Well done on taking the tablets.

I still reckon (and it is only my opinion) that you should go back to your doctor to explain what's happened over the last few days. Maybe you need some new tablets or just someone professional to talk to because moods because you are exhausted. (NB this is my opinion though)

I remember your threads too. You are doing a sterling job and sometimes it just get's too much. I know it is difficult with a family but sometimes you do need to rest and try not to worry.

I cannot offer any solutions, I wish i was practically clever and could wave a magic wand. Some kind people on here have suggested useful ideas but hopefully the doctors can enter your wife into a cognitive behavioural therapy program of some kind which will deal with this compulsion.

Can anyone think of a way to help with the debt ? I don't know enough. But i am sure some clever person will have ideas. It can be sorted. All that matters is that you are safe.

Well done my friend and welcome back from the abyss. Any step now is a step forward.

:j