don't want to go to lunch with work colleagues - how to say no?

scooby088

I wouldnt go point blank and i wouldnt make excuses to the boss neither, you can be a team player in work hours, lunch is your time not the companies.

Fire_Fox

Do not lie about a special diet as (a) you may get caught and (b) they may assume you have a health condition that you did not disclose before being appointed. Do not lie about meeting other people/ going elsewhere as you may get seen. Can't afford it is the closest diplomatic alternative to don't want to afford it, and there is no reason for you to get caught out.

teabelly

Tell them you'll go but casually mention that rich food tends to play havoc with your digestive system. After the first one spend all afternoon in the office letting off air biscuits and burping continually... problem will evaporate

broxiebear1

scooby088 wrote: »

I wouldnt go point blank and i wouldnt make excuses to the boss neither, you can be a team player in work hours, lunch is your time not the companies.

our work have them always in another town so i say im not going there
even at xmas i tell them im going away so cant afford to go out with them you can choose your friends but have to put up with the people you work with
they are having a night out next month someone asked if i was going i just said nope i have better things to do with my time from work
i am a bloke and usually moody at best of times :cool:

than4

Thanks everyone for all your replies.

I honestly am worried that if I refuse to go on these outings that I will lose my job - I am only on a short term contract that may or may not be renewed and whilst it is not the best job ever, it is a job and its okay.

I think my plan of attack will be to go when it is a lunch in work hours, adequate notice has been given and it appears I have no choice. If someone else can't go, or it is very short notice (eg at 12 noon, "let's get together for lunch today") I'm going to cop out. If it is anything outside of work hours I am going to be busy. I'm also going to research some places to go and start to make suggestions rather than just go along with whatever they suggest. At least then even if I don't enjoy the company, I will resent it less if it doesn't cost me so much.

thanks again.

getmore4less

Fluffi wrote: »

That's not very endearing or diplomatic thing to say to your colleagues though - criticizing an activity that they enjoy and saying it is a waste of money.

I don't care where others get their value for their money and am not going to toe the line to their values. If I think it not value and a waste of money I will let people know.

And when they ask how I can afford another holiday they will get told again I don't do useless lunches.

tabskitten

Horrid situation,it costs you money and its with people that you are not really wild about and i can see why this is stressful.

Maybe try and turn it around to work better for you financially but suggesting cheaper alternatives for the ''fun'' and sociable aspect as an excuse rather than the cost.
i.e lets all go on a picnic in the park tomorrow.....
lets all make a dish and bring it in with a spanish, italian, french, american .....(etc etc) theme which changes each week
fish and chips friday?!

I think you might even win through as this way it looks like you are the social instigator ,..........

wigglebeena

Can you have an actual non-work friend 'accidentally' bump into you in the venue where you're eating, and extend an impromptu invitation to join you? (they can scarcely object - don't ask permission first, just do it.) At least you will have a chance of enjoying the company!

Oldernotwiser

than4 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for all your replies.

I honestly am worried that if I refuse to go on these outings that I will lose my job - I am only on a short term contract that may or may not be renewed and whilst it is not the best job ever, it is a job and its okay.

I think my plan of attack will be to go when it is a lunch in work hours, adequate notice has been given and it appears I have no choice. If someone else can't go, or it is very short notice (eg at 12 noon, "let's get together for lunch today") I'm going to cop out. If it is anything outside of work hours I am going to be busy. I'm also going to research some places to go and start to make suggestions rather than just go along with whatever they suggest. At least then even if I don't enjoy the company, I will resent it less if it doesn't cost me so much.

thanks again.

I think that sounds like a very sensible and reasonable compromise.

getmore4less

than4 wrote: »

I'm also going to research some places to go and start to make suggestions rather than just go along with whatever they suggest. At least then even if I don't enjoy the company, I will resent it less if it doesn't cost me so much.

Good Idea

Could start with places that have offers.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/cheap-restaurant-deals

Depending where you live there may also be offers in your local papers.