don't want to go to lunch with work colleagues - how to say no?

cali_

skintdragon wrote: »

Be honest but keep it brief; you don't owe them any explanation, you're your own person and need not justify your decisions to others. Just say you cannot afford to eat out regularly as you are saving your pennies. And bring some packed lunches instead. If they start becoming clicky with you, just keep your head down and plod on.

I agree. Tell them you are saving for... ? And once in a while grin and bear it.

poppy_f1

i would say i couldnt afford it, beats lying about a special diet where you may get caught out on at some point

Treacly

I was in precisely the same position once - and after two or three excruciating (and expensive) meals I emailed my boss to say I couldn't afford it and he relished the management 'challenge' of being very tactful and scaling back the frequency, expense of the lunches etc. In fact, they soon fizzled out completely. You might not be the only one who thinks it's a pain in the neck - other colleagues are probably dying for someone to be the first to drop out!

PasturesNew

I'd tell them I couldn't afford it. If a company pays peanuts then it should be shoved in their face when they want to play "middle class".

Crisp_£_note

Tell them politely you are there to work re the MSE'ers code of conduct ~ not to party in bad company and create more debt ! Where in your jiob description does it state you must go along to these social events?

Invite them along to a lunch event / picnic on your terms and show them good "foodies gatherings at the birdtable" dont always have to cost so much for posh nosh!

shikoku

Yes, my response to this situation was to say that I had gone through all my savings whilst I was out of work and that until they were somewhat restored I wasn't able to spend anything on non-essentials. The beauty of this being that it was absolutely true.

Alternatively a couple of moments of ponderous thought followed by 'no, not this time' each time it comes up.

getmore4less

Suggest the boss pay for a different takeaway each week and you have a working lunch in the office.

definately don't make up lies about health etc.

Still think "its a waste of money got better things to spend MY money on" is the answer

liney

I think you should go the odd time to show willing, but depending on how much notice you get, and how long a lunch you have can you not be doing something else conveniently? Like swimming, haircut, library, studying, meeting a friend etc?

Fluffi

getmore4less wrote: »

Suggest the boss pay for a different takeaway each week and you have a working lunch in the office.

definately don't make up lies about health etc.

Still think "its a waste of money got better things to spend MY money on" is the answer

That's not very endearing or diplomatic thing to say to your colleagues though - criticizing an activity that they enjoy and saying it is a waste of money.

I agree that the OP should go sometimes to show willing and to show that she can be sociable - otherwise the rest of the team will bond and they'll assume that the OP doesn't like them because they don't spend any non-work time with them. I think suggesting other places to eat or picnics is a good idea and a good compromise.

I know people are only paid for work hours and paying for lunch is not part of most peoples contractual obligations. In a perfect world everyone would be treated the same regardless of whether they went out for lunch/drinks or only did their 39hrs a week. However reality is that the people that don't make any effort to build trust, goodwill and get to know their colleagues outside of work hours will find the workplace harder to work in and be "out of the loop" compared those that make an effort.

It kind of depends on how important your career is and building relationships and friendships with current colleagues might be relevant to you in the future (say 5, 10, 20 years even!). In that case money and time spent on lunches could be argued as investing in your career.

dismayed2

Be careful that you don't ostracise yourself. I'd bring in a lunchbox, claiming that you need to save a few pennies. You can always "treat" yourself to lunch out with them to show willing.