Some opinions please on a seperation and a mortgage?!

poppysarah

Could you struggle on for 10 years?

lisal0u

When Im thinking rationally I know the right thing to do is sell or give it to him.

I definately don't want to struggle for the next 10 years, Im 32 and want to build a new life for myself now!

I know this is off topic but for my mental health I couldnt stand for him to take it off me and he build a life there with someone else! Ive got into a lot of debt and put my life on hold for a year and a half renovating it! I would prefer to sell then him have it, which I know is probably cutting off my nose to spite my face!

My car loan finishes in Novemeber and the kitchen payment in June so I will be £350/month better off then! From memory my loan has another 2 and a half years to go yet! My loan is £230/month.

As well as a second job I am also looking for a better paying full time job!

My Dad has offered to help me pay the bills untill his inheritance comes through but I guess it depends if the ex is willing to contribute half to the mortgage untill I am in a better financial situation. After all he will be paying into something he will get nothing from.

I wish I had a crystal ball!

dopester

lisal0u I've just looked through your thread history.

From April 2008, all your threads are exclusively to do with:

a) Buying the house in the first place (some good advice given to you in those 2 threads, as well as some bad suggestions)...

b) To thread after thread of questions and issues you had whilst renovating the place - and issues like lead pipes stolen. You put real time and love into it.. including your blog (cached) all about the renovation.

It's a real shame that after spending real time and energy and love on doing your home up since you bought it in 2008, that it did not work out in the relationship to now leave you sore and stressed about house/mortgage. I can't offer any suggestions but really hope you're able to find a solution. I didn't agree with your decision to buy when you both did and then knowingly spend money doing it up that you knew wouldn't add value, but you really sound genuine and nice to me.. and don't deserve a bad outcome.

getmore4less

Ditch_Crawler wrote: »

Be aware that if you have more than two lodgers who are not part of your immediate family, your house will become a House In Multiple Occupation, with a whole raft of expensive regulations to comply with.

DC

Looks like weekday/part time only lodgers with main residence elsewhere don't count.

neas

I think even with lodger it will be difficult.

You are at a high risk of spiralling into more and more dbet... and eventually going bankrupt.

Its sad that ftbers are forced into this these days .

If you had no debt it would be entirely doable wth or without lodgert.... and you could still have a little bit of a life.. but unfortunately debt is currently crippling you (to tune of 800-1000 pound a month!)

lisal0u

Thanks dopester! Cant believe its been 2 years since we started looking to buy! I definately did not see things turning out like this! Unfortunately I dont really see a way out of it either! I feel like Ive come full circle on these boards - House buying - In the home (DIY) - debt free wannabe and now back to house selling!

neas - That is what is so annoying that I do actually earn enough to afford the house if it wasnt for the debts! And more annoying that at least half of the debts are because of the house!

I can borrow the money from my Dad to pay off the debts but I will still have to pay him back. If I do this I would get a lodger so that I can still pay my Dad back and have a bit of a life too! Its just I cant say when the inheritance will be forthcoming!

I thought about an IVA but then I would never be able to remotgage in my name because of the damage it will do to my credit rating!

My biggest worry is stepping off the ladder and never being able to get back on it. If I was 21 again I wouldnt be worrying quite as much but as it is I will be paying a mortgage till Im 55.

sigh

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Did anyone mention you are entitled to a reduction in your council tax, you should claim single person's allowance.

AMD

lisal0u

AMILLIONDOLLARS wrote: »

Did anyone mention you are entitled to a reduction in your council tax, you should claim single person's allowance.

AMD

Yeah my Dad told me about this, Ive put £75 in my SOA as it was £100 for 2 people.

I dont think there is a lot I can do other then give up the house or win the lottery! I think I may pay the bank a visit tomorrow and see if they can advise anything!

Fire_Fox

lisal0u wrote: »

Hi,
Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . .1,615.14

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile Phone(s) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35.00
TV Licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16.00
Council Tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75.00
Overdraft Cost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63.00
Home Insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38.80
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .700.00
Food and Household Shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80.00


Motoring & Public Transport

Petrol/Diesel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80.00
Car Tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35.00 (per year)
Car Insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.00

Debt Repayments

Credit Card Repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 320.00
Hire Purchase Repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .122.30
Personal Loan Repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .230.53
Car Loan Repayments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202.98

Entertainment

Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44.00

Odds & Sods

Regular Charity Donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3.75


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,615.14


Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,120.36

As you can see I would need to find £500/month to keep the house and would have no money to do anything!

Any advice welcome
Lisa

Well done for doing the SoA - sometimes it's less scary when it's down in black and white! I am thinking of ways to get you through the next few months until the first two loans are paid off, not meaning you have to live like a pauper forever.

Mobile phone: how soon can you drop your tariff a level? Some are after nine months. Are you willing to sell the handset, put the SIM into a cheap handset?
TV license: not required if you do not watch live broadcasts, iPlayer and 4On Demand do not need a license. If you take on a second job you won't have time to watch anyway.
Satellite TV: waste of £500 a year. Whose name is this contract in? If his he needs to pay it or see if he can cancel early due to his moving out.
Charity donation: start again later in the year when you are not in so much debt.

Electricity & Gas: £80 a month is too much - I spend £35 a month all in for my two bedroom flat, and I have electric heating and hot water which costs three times the price of gas! Use a price comparison site and turn the heating down/ off.
Water: mine is metered and I spend £10 a month: every little helps.
Home Insurance: should be half that. Get on some price comparison sites as you are being ripped off.

You have not factored in your MOT, Christmas and other gifts, haircuts, toiletries. Do you take lunches to work? Do you really need to run a car or could you use public transport? That alone is costing you a small fortune (£350 a month) that you really do not have available.

The major debt charities say that if housing costs (rent plus mortgage plus secured loans) are more than half your income it is unsustainable, and actually that is not the case here. It is definitely worth asking if you can go interest only on the mortgage just until you have paid off two of your loans. It might also be worth asking if the lender will grant consent to lease which means you can rent the whole house out for a few months, again until you have paid off two of your loans and can move in yourself.

Then onto the biggies, your debts. You are paying out £940 a month not including the mortgage!! :eek: Sorry but you need to forget about buying clothes or going out for meals until you have got rid of a couple of these payments. Regardless of taking on the whole mortgage and regardless of the unforseen split you have severely overstretched yourself. I know it is easy to say with the benefit of hindsight, but you should have saved to do up the house not borrowed. TBH I have no idea why lenders have allowed you to get into this position. :mad:

I also note your have "no money to do anything" comment - yet most of the big costs on your SoA are luxuries: the car, the new kitchen, iPhone, satellite TV. If you start enjoying and appreciating these then perhaps you would be a bit happier in your new home? :huh: As a homeowner you can have a great social life, invite mates over for a DVD and homemade pizza, or a few bottles of three for a tenner wine and a gossip, a bring-a-course candlelit meal, barbeque, even the occasional modest party. This is how my friends and I get together, and they are mostly in their twenties.

I still think you should take on the house for a while, you cannot do it alone but you have several possible sources of additional income - the ex, your dad, a lodger (or two), a second job/ matched betting (not gambling). In addition it's only six months until two of your loans are finished: I'd get the ex to agree in writing to pay half of the mortgage and buildings insurance with an agreement to review the situation in November. By then you should have been able to make other arrangements to increase your income or reduce your other outgoings. :cool:

lisal0u

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Well done for doing the SoA - sometimes it's less scary when it's down in black and white! I am thinking of ways to get you through the next few months until the first two loans are paid off, not meaning you have to live like a pauper forever.

Mobile phone: how soon can you drop your tariff a level? Some are after nine months. Are you willing to sell the handset, put the SIM into a cheap handset?

I will give them a ring and see if they can do anything, Its a 24 month contract that ends 18/06/2011

TV license: not required if you do not watch live broadcasts, iPlayer and 4On Demand do not need a license. If you take on a second job you won't have time to watch anyway.
Satellite TV: waste of £500 a year. Whose name is this contract in? If his he needs to pay it or see if he can cancel early due to his moving out.

I need to investigate this as I cannot remember when we took out the contract. Its in both of our names at the minute but hes been paying for it while he lived there! Im sure the tarrif can be dropped if I cannot cancel due to it not being over a year yet!

Charity donation: start again later in the year when you are not in so much debt.

Electricity & Gas: £80 a month is too much - I spend £35 a month all in for my two bedroom flat, and I have electric heating and hot water which costs three times the price of gas! Use a price comparison site and turn the heating down/ off.

Had a bill on Saturday and its for £105/month yikes! We have underfloor heating downstairs and in the bathroom and Im thinking this could be why! The central heating upstairs has been turned off and downstairs has been turned down.

Water: mine is metered and I spend £10 a month: every little helps.

Home Insurance: should be half that. Get on some price comparison sites as you are being ripped off.

The home insurance is buildings too, is that still to high? I will go do a price comparison!

You have not factored in your MOT (This isnt due for a year as it was a new car), Christmas and other gifts (This year people are going to have to go without gifts), haircuts, toiletries. Do you take lunches to work? (I make my own lunch) Do you really need to run a car or could you use public transport? That alone is costing you a small fortune (£350 a month) that you really do not have available.

My car is a problem but I commute 50 miles a day and there is no public transport option. I should have bought a cheaper car but I bought it before buying the house!

The major debt charities say that if housing costs (rent plus mortgage plus secured loans) are more than half your income it is unsustainable, and actually that is not the case here. It is definitely worth asking if you can go interest only on the mortgage just until you have paid off two of your loans. It might also be worth asking if the lender will grant consent to lease which means you can rent the whole house out for a few months, again until you have paid off two of your loans and can move in yourself.

I am definately going to ask about interest only or extending the mortgage a bit more to help with the cost in the short term.

Then onto the biggies, your debts. You are paying out £940 a month not including the mortgage!! :eek: Sorry but you need to forget about buying clothes or going out for meals until you have got rid of a couple of these payments. I havent really done any of these things since we started renovating! Regardless of taking on the whole mortgage and regardless of the unforseen split you have severely overstretched yourself. I know it is easy to say with the benefit of hindsight, but you should have saved to do up the house not borrowed. TBH I have no idea why lenders have allowed you to get into this position. :mad: I have been really really foolish with money and should never have bought the house. I knew I was going to financially stretch myself but I was too worried as I would have a house to enjoy and was not concerned with not being able to do things. Staying in and watching dvds etc was fine!

I also note your have "no money to do anything" comment - yet most of the big costs on your SoA are luxuries: the car, the new kitchen, iPhone, satellite TV. If you start enjoying and appreciating these then perhaps you would be a bit happier in your new home? :huh: As a homeowner you can have a great social life, invite mates over for a DVD and homemade pizza, or a few bottles of three for a tenner wine and a gossip, a bring-a-course candlelit meal, barbeque, even the occasional modest party. This is how my friends and I get together, and they are mostly in their twenties.

I still think you should take on the house for a while, you cannot do it alone but you have several possible sources of additional income - the ex, your dad, a lodger (or two), a second job/ matched betting (not gambling). In addition it's only six months until two of your loans are finished: I'd get the ex to agree in writing to pay half of the mortgage and buildings insurance with an agreement to review the situation in November. By then you should have been able to make other arrangements to increase your income or reduce your other outgoings. :cool:

That is a really good idea seeing if the ex will agree to pay half untill November. He wants to rent somewhere as soon as possible as he cant stay with his sister. If he did that now then he would be out of his 6 months tie in by November if circumstances changed so that I couldnt take on the hosue by myself!

If it had been an amicable split, sharing it as housemates would have been the ideal solution!

Thanks you very much for your advice!
Lisa