Family advice please

leni

Sorry to hear of your situation, when I moved out of home my cousin (similar to your bro) decided to move in and because she's family my dad wants to help.

My advice would be to ask his friends to leave - their there without the owners permission, if they refuse, call the police to remove them. If it comes to it, you can applied for (in)jection? to keep them away.

As for your brother - how old is he?

Does your dad own/rent his house? if he rents maybe you could get the landlord/council to write a letter stating things change or he gets evicted, it might shock your bro!

Does your dad have a social worker or support work who could help!

sorry thats all I can think of!

twink

not much more i can add purpleprincess, thank goodness your dad has a loving and caring daughter in you
dont see why your dad should have to live like that, big hugs to you xx

scuzz

Hey Hun

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like your brother has zero respect for your dad or the law or anyone in the authorities

I know a few coppers, so I could ask them what would be the best course of action on your behalf, if you'd like me to. Obviously they work in the town you live in.

Try not to give out too much info over internet, as it could prejudice any case against your bro.

I also know council workers quite well, so could make some enquiries there too.

Don't really know what to suggest. PM me if you need

southernscouser

Babe you know where I am!

I don't mean to upset you by this but I'm gonna be honest with you.

In my opinion it would be best if your brother got locked up. I know he's family and all that but you don't have to like someone because he is blood.

I imagine he has had it hard what with your mum and everything just like you have, but men are alot less mature than women, especially at that age so I do have a bit of sympathy for him. But there comes to a point in life when you have to take control of your actions and life and he is more than old enough to be at that point.

Your dad needs to kick him out in all honesty. It may give him the kick up the !!! thats needed.

If he is threatening or violent call the police. The same if he is doing drugs or anything criminal! He needs to start learning he can't behave like this and quickly!

Failing that I'd gladly drive down there and get rid of his mates for you! Although I can't promise there wouldn't be lots of blood and broken glass about again!

Benny24

Speak to social services about the situation your dad is in and together with the police they should be able to come up with a solution. However it is going to take a bit of bullet biting by your dad. If he's hoping your brother might change, it could be difficult for him to show your brother the door.

Essex-girl_2

((((PurplePrincess)))

I cant add anything to whats already said but I hope something works out.

Bossyboots

Aw purpleprincess I feel for you. My elder brother was a nightmare to live with, but nowhere near as bad as yours has become.

He won't change while he has no reason to I'm afraid. Its all very well saying he's "family" but he is hardly taking that into account himself is he?

Your dad is vulnerable. Can I suggest you contact the RNID http://www.rnid.org.uk/information_resources/ and ask them for some advice. They may be able to suggest how to broach the problem with the authorities or put you in touch with someone in your area that might be able to help.

While I would anticipate it will bring its own set of problems, your dad/you need to kick him out with all his gear and get the locks changed. It is far easier to get police help if he is kicking off in the street than if he is in his own home. Hopefully the neighbours would also call the police.

I am really sorry to say that it seems to me that you have to make a choice between your dad or your brother, you cannot help them both at this stage.

Having lived in fear of my own brother, I can only imagine the terrors your dad is going through. Please be strong for him and do what is necessary.

ZTD

The first person to focus on is your father. If, like other victims of domestic violence, he is waiting and expecting the person responsible to change their ways without prompting - then you are wasting your time.

Given that your brother has not been turning up to community service, there is a significant chance he is going to jail. That may be the time to work on your father.

Your brother is family, but so are you. He doesn't treat you like you're family - just mugs.

Sorry.

ALI1973

((((HUGS))))) PP.

Sorry havent got any advice, but what an awful situation to be in. Could your brothers probation officer (assuming he has one) help?

Motherof1

Big hug for you Purpleprincess. I feel so sad for your dad and you. Your brother is nothing but disrespectful to anyone trying to steer him on the right path. As previously suggested...help your dad throw his stuff and his buddiest stuff out....ensure the locks are changed when they are not around and ofcourse alert the police....your dad and his house may need some sort of protection with thugs like that on the loose.

Your brother has chosen to live a crap life.....theres no reason for him to bring you and your father down with him.......perhaps you could get some advice from the police....they could maybe phsically remove your brother and his friends! Somthing must be done thats for sure. Let us know how you get on.