Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

newgirly

Hi ladygnome and vix, thanks for popping by

I’m trying to be balanced about all this, I’m just feeling the pressure as (don’t laugh!) I feel we do move again I want it to be while Dd is still at home so it feels like her home still

Hopefully the kid next door will move on but he is still only 18 and we live in a London borough so it could be a very long time. Best friend has helped a bit as she has been telling me of her neighbours who are a bit bonkers and she’s lives in a huge house in the posh end of town :rotfl:

I’m currently thinking of the extra mortgage vs holidays and travel that could be done instead, we have not travelled much at all as we we’re married at 21/24 and had kids straight away so finances and logistics stopped all that.

Packing almost totally done now, not much else on the list crossed off so I’m about to do it now in bed

debtfreeoneday

I totally get the whole kids seeing houses as homes. Realistically what we want / need now won't be the same as in 10 years, but I'm kinda bit of life is for living so move now and they will have memories there. That said we are looking to sustain / reduce the mortgage and hopefully find something that needs minimal work! If that even exists!

wishingthemortgaheaway

We have a friend whose father bought a vast house at retirement. 6huge bedrooms and a massive garden. His reasoning behind this was that he wanted to be able to host everyone for Christmas and other events. There are 4 children plus spouses, then 10 grandchildren I think. 2 children & some grandchildren live close enough to commute to events, but the rest don't, so he wanted the space for everyone to be together.
Would that be worth factoring that into your thoughts?

Wish

themadvix

Just my thoughts on the 'DD home' thing. My parents divorced when I was 21 (and living at home while at uni). I ended up living with my Dad for 6 years before DH and I got married and bought our home. Mum and Dad both bought homes where my sister and I could have a bedroom. I didn't stay at Mum's that often, but I know there's a bed for me there should I ever need it (even now) and I certainly pop in and out (with my own key) without feeling it's 'not my home' (was incredibly upset to leave childhood home behind but in hindsight realise that it's only bricks and mortar - you keep the memories and that's what's important).

Likewise, we're currently clearing my Nan's house. She and my Grandad bought it just as Mum was leaving home to get married and I don't think either of my uncles (who lived there for slightly longer) would consider it to be their childhood home (which is very frequently mentioned with great fondness). I think it not being their childhood home is making the clearing much less upsetting/stressful - I think my sister and I are probably going to be as upset (if not more so) at saying goodbye to the house as it's so closely linked with our memories of Nan.

There is a point in there, although I've not made it very clear! I suspect wherever you are, as long as there's a place for DD, she'll feel like it's home - it's about the people, not the building itself.

Re the neighbour - you'd have to hope he'd move out within 10 years? How much longer would you need to pay mortgage for/how many weeks/weekends away per year could you manage without the mortgage - it's a balance!

newgirly

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

We have a friend whose father bought a vast house at retirement. 6huge bedrooms and a massive garden. His reasoning behind this was that he wanted to be able to host everyone for Christmas and other events. There are 4 children plus spouses, then 10 grandchildren I think. 2 children & some grandchildren live close enough to commute to events, but the rest don't, so he wanted the space for everyone to be together.
Would that be worth factoring that into your thoughts?

Wish

Hi wishing, that’s kind of been partly my thinking too, but that’s how my mother in law is also thinking planning on buying a big house at nearly eighty. The reality is though nobody will want to go and stay there! I think a small filled house would always be preferable over a big empty one :eek:

newgirly

Hi debtfreeoneday, if you can find something without having to spend a lot more then that sounds fantastic, I think for us we are talking years of sacrificing to get anything bigger here, and a fair few years extra to get something the same or smaller that’s not a terrace with a small garden I hope you manage to find something that fits the bill and doesn’t cost the earth, it’s not easy is it

Hi vix thanks for that, it’s great to get other people’s perspectives on this, but way more so other mfw’s opinions as I feel like only they know the sacrifices that have been made to get to this point. “Normal” people seem much happier to just do it now and let the future take care of itself a bit more, my own dad said quite recently my that it’s not worth oping as your wages go up so in real terms what you owe goes down. (That would be true of my wages did go up I guess :rotfl:)

Sorry to its so sad sorting through your nans stuff, I felt the same doing it a couple of years ago with mine. I ended up taking a few of her items (bookcase, sixties ceramics etc. ) and have them in my living room, they still look cool but more importantly it’s a bit of a comfort interesting that you still feel at home letting yourself into your mum’s no way even though it wasn’t your childhood home- I guess it’s how at home you feel there that’s the important bit.

As for the chav (sorry but you know, it’s the best description) next door, he is serenading me right now with his lovely music , he is in the garden , I’m in the loft room and it’s a tall house.

Ds2’s plan is to try and educate him into listening to better music, he was blasting out tiny dancer into the garden the other day to drown out chav and chavs chavvy friends’ little afternoon soir!e :rotfl::rotfl:

Oh and weekends away, approx 125k plus interest and excluding renovations - how many weekends would that cover :eek::eek:

debtfreeoneday

I like DS's tactic! We had a very inconsiderate set of neighbours once that would roll out their karoke machine onto their decking at weekends and invite everyone (except us, we always declined and said we were out / hid in our bedroom) around for a singsong. Strains of Culture Club - do you really want to hurt me at midnight on a Saturday night were too much - we moved!

newgirly

:rotfl::rotfl: oh dear that’s a bit hardcore! Ours are not very loud to be fair, I’m just listening out for them too much

Attitude adjustment is probably something that would help me, we are a big family who also make noise sometimes too. I’ve set up an amazon dot in the loft room too (bought ages ago on offer but not used) and that’s a big help if it’s hot and the windows are open while he is outside.

Anyway I hope you have a much more peaceful home now

£6.24 Tilly tidy op made today, total now £173.68 of the pay extra challenge :T

daisy_1571

newgirly wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: oh dear that’s a bit hardcore! Ours are not very loud to be fair, I’m just listening out for them too much

Attitude adjustment is probably something that would help me, we are a big family who also make noise sometimes too. I’ve set up an amazon dot in the loft room too (bought ages ago on offer but not used) and that’s a big help if it’s hot and the windows are open while he is outside.

Anyway I hope you have a much more peaceful home now

£6.24 Tilly tidy op made today, total now £173.68 of the pay extra challenge :T

I was like that too ng, always listening out and getting annoyed by neighbours through the wall who had family round 2 sundays out 3 for years. Looking back i got myself into a right state about nothing, they were just a normal couple inviting a sister and the kids plus a mum and dad round cos they had a lovely house with a lovely big garden. They certainly weren't doing it to annoy me but oh boy it really used to !!! Luckily we ended up moving but Sunday afternoons were awful waiting on 2 o clock and "it" to start. In reality "it" was just them sitting in the garden talking and laughing and a ball being kicked about, often with the radio or music on but it actually was really that blaring ie it was just a family enjoying spending a sunny afternoon together. How gleeful we privately were if it started to rain. Daft, as it meant we also weren't enjoying our lovely big garden which we certainly could have been.

That continued into living in this house where I was listening out for noise in the gardens and surrounding area and it ruined me having my own peaceful time. Then I read something that I now repeat to myself - noise is just other people enjoying themselves. Somehow that has flipped my thinking and instead of feeling aggrieved that these people are annoying ME I now feel they are in no way trying to annoy ME but are merely people doing their own thing in their own way.

In essence nothing has changed in the area, but I certainly dont get all bent out of shape now and that has been huge for me. Hoping you find a way of co-existing too.

Daisy xxx

newgirly

Thank you Daisy for sharing that with me, it really resonates It’s easy for little irritations to grow and become something you focus on. I’m so glad you feel more at peace now and look at it a different way, that’s exactly what I’m starting to realise that I need to do too.

When weighing up everything, I know I do overreact and sometimes look for issues! Perhaps it’s part of being a worrier, looking for problems all the time.

The kitchen quote came in from H@wdens today, £7070 for units and appliances :eek: then to make it worse on closer inspection I noticed the planner hadn’t added my appliance requests and just put in cheap ones for everything. I went for basic brands in everything except the built in ovens, large hob and extractor, they are all n@ff. this bumped it up to nearly £9400 :eek: I did spot an miss priced small larder fridge listed at £900 when it was actually under £200, so end quote will be around £8700 ish and this is with the builders 75-85% discounts :eek:

Clearly there is a crazy “original” price, but it’s one of their better kitchens and I’ve not gone for the usual run of cupboards top and bottom.

So I need to find loads more money

Budget £10,000

Spent £303 on lights for the living room and hall - a splurge but they are the best lights in the world

£800 to electrician for bedroom electrics

Kitchen cupboards and appliances £8700 ish including floor for kitchen and bedrooms

Still to pay budget for :

Kitchen fitting/plastering/new electrics

2x bedrooms plastered, new rads, decorated, window sills, skirting, floors

Possibly they can also do the living room and halls soon - flooring, skirting, plastering, electrics, decorating.



So I need to work out how long is a piece of string :rotfl:

I’m way short on money and there was only £10k in the offset to start with :cool: the builder says we can drip feed him money as we go along, but how long over I don’t know! Ive £2k in a regular saver I can access but it’s mortgage op money that’s already in my balance figures.

A plan is required!