Pay off mortgage and start having fun!

never_too_old

It is difficult ,its taken us a long time to learn from our own mistakes, no one else to blame but ourselves.Im 45 now and both my parents died before reaching 60 so never got the opportunity to really enjoy themselves. You have done so well to reduce your mortgage by the amount you have but working the hours my dh does has and is taking a toll on his health and hes always been a fit person.
I wish i had done the things im doing now years ago my dd is 16 and shes heading in the right direction, learning from our mistakes. Enjoy your summer house its something we would like to reward ourselves with when everything is paid off in 81 months time when hopefully our mortgage is paid off:D:D:D:D

newgirly

Thanks i am hart, i am sure you will get there and in that summerhouse, hopefully sooner than you think. As for the kids, about a year ago I printed of martin's teen cash guide for my DD (then 13), I don't think she was at all interested! However i am hoping that she learns from our mistakes and doesn't borrow on cards she can't afford.
A timely conversation as yesterday my Mum was half jokingly telling Dd that she should get herself used to the finer things in life! I took offence a bit and probably went a bit OTT, teenagers don't need any encouragement to spend on themselves in my experience. I wish my parents had put me off CC's , I also used to trade in my ( 9 month old) car each year as it did'nt cost much with dads company discount to get a new one, often adding a bit each time to finance.

You live and learn, it still makes me sick to think our start off mortage on this house was £93K 10 yeras ago.

I hope your OH is ok, and you are enjoying life as much as you can along the way, we need to have fun on this sometimes very long journey

newgirly

Sooo much to do today, its grans 80th party at lunchtime and I have to go and start helping with that in an hour. Packing still not halfway and dh has just rung up to make sure I have done enough work (its making up a part he needs ) to cover the firm while we are away, which I haven't and I've only got today to do it, and we are out all day :eek: so another late night for me.
Chaos as usual, ds1 and 2 were taken to a local theme park with brother and sister inlaw yesterday (first time they have taken them out), but they did'nt get back until 11pm so we are all up late today. They enjoyed it but apparently got lost going to the toilet and had to find a security guard they told me while they were there, hence quite a bit of stressing from me, they don't usually go to public toilets at night on their own.

Anyway, dh went to work yesterday at 4.30am (moaning that he had got up late!) then got home around 9.30pm. He wanted to go back to work at 2 1/2 hours later but i insisted he should have another hour sleep then I would wake him up , which I did'nt .
He is always mega busy sorting stuff out and trying to get ahead when we go away anywhere, but he is so tired it is ridiculous.

My Dad is very similar too, always very busy and stressed out.
I would love to think that when the mortage is gone it will be better , but I know thats not the case. All those extra hours he is working he is unpaid , its for the good of the company, which when it does better again we should hopefully start getting dividends from. Its been like this for years , but has got much worse since he took over running the firm 2 years ago.

Just wondering if anyone has a similar problem, it helps that he is not working weekends, but even then he is often very stressed out or tired. I would like to enjoy life a bit more (cheaply of course!).
Going away is a good way to relax, I think you switch off more some where else, but thats not really a solution.

Sorry for the moan this morning, but sometimes life just seems to revolve around dh's work, I'm glad he is a hard worker and appreciate we still have money coming in, I just feel like we are all missing out sometimes.

goobergirl

Hi newgirly, OH and I went through a similar stage a few years ago. it lasted about 4 years, when he just seemed to be working all the time. He was doing a lot of overtime then often getting a few hours sleep before getting called out again. Even on his 'days off' sometimes. I can remember thinking it would never end but it did get better and he has a much better life work balance now.

Hang on in there and make the most of the time you do manage to snatch. Try and make sure he eats well too as all those irregular hours can take their toll. x

cha97michelle

I sometimes get stressed as DH is a bit like your DH, like going in to work in all that snow, and the phone constantly ringing on evenings and weekends, even if we are a way on hols. We once even crashed the car which I put down to work. We were away on a half term break. Work needed him back, I agreed to cut the hols short, but the weather was so atrocious we ended up crashing into someone who made a mistake and spun, and wrote our car off. We only travelled in such bad weather down to work.

Anyway, my point I think, is I used to get very stressed myself, and make DH feel bad about it, as I wanted him to tell them it was our weekend/holiday or whatever, and I can understand that dedication in your own business but not for your 'job'. Now, I try not to put the extra stress on him, and just say 'ok' if he has to go out to work and try to be more supportive to it. Doesn't always work, but it has got to be stressful for him knowing I am wound up and going to have a dig, so removing some stress does help him be overall less stressed.

Will your DH answer work phone calls on holiday? I think I am going to turn DHs phone off. He wouldn't be able to answer calls if we were abroad, so I think he should get some break from it.

wynnvegas

Hi newgirly,

Have a great time at the party today. 80 is a proper achievement on it's own so I hope your gran is well and enjoys her celebration. I'm sure having all the family around will take care of that though.

Have a great holiday as well. Sounds like you all need the break!

Cheers,

Billy

gallygirl

I'm with you all on the OH work thing :mad:. Mr GG is constantly looking at his crackberry - even during the night when he has a wee! He's basically on the go from before 6 in the morning and works evenings at home. Come the weekends he's still on it (he works in a 24 7 industry). It winds me up, as we have hardly any time together anyway. I can feel one of our conversations coming on.......

I am supportive most of the time, but occasionally I think the best support I can give is to point out how stressed & tired he is all the time. It's affecting his health so if he loves his job as much as he says then he needs to look after himself & stay alive so he can carry on doing it.

Friends comment on it but it doesn't register with him as being abnormal as he works with people who are the same.

He has a responsible job and is extremely well paid, but it wouldn't be such an impressive hourly rate if he was to work it out!

The only time he switches off is when we are overseas as fortunately his crackberry doesn't work there. So, 24 sleeps till he has a break .

Grrrr :mad:

cha97michelle

Crackberry - I love it! (The name that is and not the fact these OH's are always on the go.)

Thing is with mine, I can't moan too much, as I used to work as many if not more hours making stuff for school. I felt the expectation was it was all interactive as we all had interactive whiteboards. You couldn't go in and not have anything prepared like before they were so commonplace.

Also, with mobiles, we expect people to be available all the time. I went mad though at his colleague who rang up in the early hours of the morning, and left messages on his mobile, the house phone, and MY mobile. I was fuming. I thought that took the mick too much.

I've at least trained mine that the phone does not come into our room, as waking me or the kids up is a big no-no for me.

wynnvegas

Hiya Gally,

I now have visions of all the hardcore junkies combing the fields for the elusive crackberry fruit. I used to get the lecture a lot from Moyra about working too much (and, from your posts, I did nothing like what your husband does). Even though I enjoy the work I do, spending time together and with friends and family is far more important in the long run and, despite me cutting back on the additional hours, I don't actually feel all that much less productive. Can't say I'd be looking forward to the impending rant - I got enough to worry me over when your roulette numbers didn't bother hitting!!

Cheers,

Billy

summerday

Another member of the workaholic OH's club here! Mostly I just worry about DH's health, and I know he lies awake worrying about work sometimes. The main time it annoys me is when we are out for a meal in a nice restaurant and he thinks it's ok to send emails or answer calls! I get really narky with him whenever he does this, especially if we are on holiday or the weekend.

Having said that, I wonder how many of us would be doing so well on the MF front without the income that our hardworking partners bring in?