How do i help her

moo842

My friend has just lost her baby, he was stillborn at full term on tuesday, of course they are devestated as am I. But i want to go to see her tomorrow is it too soon, what should i take. What support should i offer??

nearlyrich

Just take a hug and let her talk and show you her pictures,if she wants to, accept there is nothing anyone can really do but she will appreciate you care, some people just don't know what to say and they end up keeping away.

xmaslolly76

A hug is really good idea i dont think she will want anything other than support as for it being to soon play it by ear you will know if a quick 5 mins is all they can handle or if she wants a shoulder to cry on for a while x

jenhug

just hold her really tight and tell her you love her and will be there for her. I don't think there is anything else you can do.

ladybez

As already said, a big hug AND tell her how sorry you are about her losing her son. Be prepared to look at photos etc and don't worry he will just look like he is sleeping. Be able to spend as short or as long a time with her as you think fit. A tiny gift for her son, such as a small teddy may be appropriate.

McKneff

How tragic............

I can only echo everyone what everyone else says, hug her tight and just let her talk, youre a good friend. Its nice that you can do this, lots of people stay away in this situation thinkign that they may be intruding. A true friend wouldnt.

Spendless

You could ask if there's anything practical you could do and if she thinks of anything she's to ring you. My friend, MIL and SIL had to pack all my baby things away for me as I couldn't bear to.

Ladyhawk

I don't mean this horribly... but is she ready to see you?

Apricot

My stepsister had a stillborn baby two years ago and all she wanted was to talk about the baby and show photos. She was so proud of her little man and just wanted to show him off to everyone. Don't be afraid to talk about the baby and definitely don't say "you can have another one" or "it was meant to be" as that is definitely not something she is going to want to hear. Perhaps suggest ways in which you can preserve baby's memory such as planting a rose bush?

Perhaps take over something for her and her partner to have for tea (simple but practical help), be prepared to make lots of tea, cry a lot and generally just listen - let her vent on you.

Rachel83

Ladyhawk wrote: »

I don't mean this horribly... but is she ready to see you?

I'm definatly another who is wondering this?
For me I don't think I'd want to see anyone 3 days after losing my baby.

But if she really does want you there then a hug, and maybe a card if you can find one suitable. Just be there for her, listen to her and comfort her.

SUESMITH_2

just take yourself and lots of hugs.

when i had a late miscarriage people stayed away on the basis that it was too soon to come and see me, all i wanted was someone to talk to and to be there with me and to let me talk. so after my experience i would say go around