Long Distance Relationship

old_motters

sparrer wrote: »

We've been in our relationship for 8 years, and live 6000 miles apart. We both have commitments to elderly relatives so see each other approx 3 times a year for a few days. We presumed that one day we wouldn't have those commitments but he's just been diagnosed with a terminal illness so he won't be coming to UK any more...

That really really sucks.

My wife and I did 20 months 3,500 miles apart. I'd travel to the US once a month for a 3 or 4 day weekend, before she moved here and we got married.

ETA: I loved it though. I also think that those 3/4 days a month were some of the best of my life. It was a very intense experience as I found all my time at home was focused on being out there with my then girlfriend, either working to afford it or just day dreaming about being there.

Miss_Imaginative

sparrer, I have to say I'm so sorry to hear your news.

OH and I have been together for 4 years. For the first 18 months, we lived ten minutes down the road from each other with our respective parents and saw each other everyday. Then, I moved 50 miles away for my PGCE for a year and we saw each other twice a week - on a Wednesday evening I'd either drive back home or he'd come down to me and we'd spend the evening together. We'd speak online or on the phone most nights. After my PGCE I moved back in with my parents and OH and I were back to being ten minutes down the road from each other.

April of last year, OH got a job 250 miles up north. I couldn't join him as I was tied into my job until the summer and we wanted to see how he'd settle in to the area. We saw each other every weekend, either he'd do the 4 hour drive down to see me, or I'd get the train up to see him. We'd spend most evenings talking online, texting or on the phone. Six months later, I moved up to join him and we've been living together ever since!

Curiously enough, my friend is also in a LDR with her OH who is 450 miles away which they've been doing for 2 years now. They see each other on average every six weeks or so (every day during holidays) and speak every day on the phone/online. They are hoping to move in together this summer when he finishes university.

lostinrates wrote: »

There are pluses: every Friday I have butterflies in my tummy all day and when I see him I feel like a teenager in love, its all consuming, still, but Fridays..they are unbelievably exciting for me.

Yes, yes, yes! :T That sums up how it was for me every Friday - the most all-consuming feeling! Being long-distance is so incredibly hard at times, but the weekends and the times you are together make up for it in abundance. It also makes me appreciate the fact we're living together now all the more.

mommyme - I maintain you will never know unless you try. OH and I were friends before we got together and I was incredibly wary of it going pear-shaped and losing such a good friend. Although we both agreed at the beginning that whatever happened we will stay friends afterwards. I can safely say that getting together with him was the best thing I ever did. Many people think long-distance relationships don't work, but quite alot of people don't hear the success stories! If you and your friend put the effort in, then it'll come back in bucketloads.

Miss_I

sparrer

Thank you old_motters and Miss_Imaginative. We've had much more than a lot of people do. Better to have loved and lost, etc etc

For anyone in ldr's I'd say make it special, shut the world out for the times you can be together, give your oh all your attention, and you'll never have to wish you'd done it this or that way, or told them more often how much they mean to you. Being together is the opportunity to make the times apart a little less painful and make the memories that keep the love strong.

Greener_Grass

I met my OH online (online game), We lived 350 miles away. spoke on the phone every for 4 months, met in person then saw each other every 2 weeks to begin with then every weekend. I moved down to be with him 5 months after we met in person as i couldn't stand to be away any longer

Mrs_Imp

Imp and I met when we were both living in the same city, but I was working away during the week about 200 miles away. We spent the next 4 years apart (we're now married and living in the same place). He moved a couple of times to various parts of the country and I spent the weeks working away from home in another part of the country. We spent most weekends together. I missed him a lot during the week, but would rather have done that than not be with him at all. Recently I had to work in france for 3 months. We wrote to each other every day, and I loved getting the letters as I could keep reading them.

I you both want to make it work, it will.

sexki11en

When I first met Hubby, he was in Bristol and I lived in Birmingham. We saw each other every weekend and sometimes he would drive 100 miles to come and see me after work :eek:

I sometimes miss it (we've lived together for 4 years now) Monday was always awful but Tues was a bit closer to the weekend, Wed was halfway etc, etc. By Friday I was jumping around all over the place at the thought of seeing him again. You'll find you tend to make the most of the time you have together (even if it is in bed all weekend - ooerr lol) to make up for the time you're apart.

SK x

derbylady

Been with my partner who lives 2 and half hours away for nearly 6 years now, see each other probably every other weekend, been on holiday together 3 times for 2 weeks at a time, sometimes see more of him especially at xmas, our relationship is fab, can count on one hand the times we have argued, over something silly. Love him to bits and like our relationship as it is.