Couples and individual finances.

Conor_3

Well I didn't expect to end up with a thread this big already :rotfl: and it's certainly revealed some things I've not thought of.

I started this because I have several friends who have completely seperate finances and all of them are in trouble yet those who have joint finances aren't. One of those in trouble asks me for advice quite a lot and it appears that doing things in the "I pay this, (S)he pays that" isn't working.

As quite a few in here have done, my wife and I have a joint account that we live out of and seperate accounts so I, for example, can go spend money on my classic car and she can spend money on her garden without either of us feeling guilty as well as being able to buy the surprise prezzies as someone has already said.

Thanks to those who have shared their reasons.

Mrs_Sparkle

nickyhutch wrote:

Because you love each other??

That implies that you don't love each other if you don't take on each other's debts. That's absolute rubbish if you don't mind me saying so. Let's not judge how other couples manage their finances as there's no right or wrong way to do it as long as it works for the individual couple.

welshgirl78

Hmm, have been very interested reading all this. My BF and I currently have separate finances and split everything 50/50 although we have lived together for a while and he earns quite alot more than me. We are now thinking about buying a house and will split that and he bills equally too alothugh have a joint account for the payment.

I wonder whether any of this is to do with age? Both of us have got uni debts and other bits of debt and neither of us would mix them. I think that we are both very independent and would hate not to have our own accounts. I dread the days after i have children and won't have my own income. Will be very bizarre as have always supported myself (well... mostly!!!)

Not really adding anything here but thinking on paper! I guess the way you are brought up affects your own thinking - maybe if both your parents earnt you expect the same yourself?

Good luck everyone with their own way -essentually thats the most important thing!

Mrs_Sparkle

Welshgirl that's a very good point- maybe it is a generational thing. We are expecting our first baby in February and the thought of living off statutory maternity pay for 4 months scares me silly- I'm like you, have always paid my own way. Good luck to you on your DFW mission.

Prudent

I was married to a gambler. We started off with seperate accounts when we got together.Neither us wanted a joint account because I am a saver and he is a spender. I initially thought his spending was simply careless casual spending on loads of magazines/ cigarettes etc. It was until we separated (not for financial reasons) that I learnt the massive extent of his debt. I had know he had some debts and had offered to help (on the condition he was more open about money) but he never agreed. If I had to share financial interests (like jointly owning a house) with someone else again I would want more financial openess, though that would not have to mean joint accounts. I think my high level of money saving activities would drive anyone else, other than another keen mser, crazy!

BestFootForward_2

My wife and I have separate accounts. It works for both of us at the moment, although we plan to have kids within the next year or so, which scares me a bit since we're very different with money. She cuts back when the money is low in her account. I'm looking at my budget at least once a day, trying to figure out how to cut back further.

Sometimes I think her brain is wired differently to mine.

Actiongirl_2

Sting wrote:

My wife and I have a joint current account, this seems (to me) the most logic solution since we both get paid into the account, and then all OUR bills come out. When we need money we take it, and if there is anything left at the end of the month we split it between our SEPERATE savings accounts.

The savings accounts are seperate because they are ISAs (tax free) and can therefore only be in single names.

As for arguements, yes, we have had plenty of those about money!! I like to think I am quite informed about money, saving and investments. My wife on the other hand cannot see the point in moving current accounts to get freebies or free money, or moving an ISA account to get 1% more interest. And as for my clicking on links on cashback websites she thinks I am mad! Still she doesn't complain when I offer to take her out to dinner with my cashback earnings!

Although I think what we have is the best solution in terms of simplicity and optimising interest earned I would never tell anyone there is a right or wrong way to do things.

Nail on the head there. Different attitudes. My B/F doesnt understand why I want to my my mortgage off asap. He would rather let the bank take the risk, while we build up our investments. I would rather I minimised the risk asap. I couldn't cope with a joint account. With my own, I always kknow where I am up to. When I met him, he had three red bills on the coffee table. Now, he pays me his share of bills via S/O and I pay everything including food. He pays treats. No late payments, food in the cupboard, credit card bills paid, Everyones happy.

overbudget

welshgirl78 wrote:

Not really adding anything here but thinking on paper! I guess the way you are brought up affects your own thinking - maybe if both your parents earnt you expect the same yourself?

Good luck everyone with their own way -essentually thats the most important thing!

Not sure it is always about whether or not you both earn. Both my partner and I earn (me slightly more than her but she's rapidly catching up!) and we still just pay everything into one account and spend from that. For us it is just because it is so much less complicated! I don't see myself as not having my own money because of this - I see us both as having our money. Perhaps would feel different if one of us wasn't earning or was earning a lot less than the other I'm not sure?

But absolutely agree there is no one "right" way - what is important is that both partners in any partnership are comfortable with the way they handle things.

maryjane01

I am debt free and my partner has debt. He has got it down from close to 15,000 to about 4,000 in the last 12 months. We are getting married on August 26 and we are in the process of buying a house. After we are married I will help him pay off the last of the debt, because the money being spent on interest is less money for us and our future together, I haven't helped him so far because he had to learn his lesson, and he has. I wouldn't be marrying him if he hadn't.

lisa_75

loobyloo1980 wrote:

I have a joint account with my husband, and can't imagine having separate finances and having to discuss lending each other money, or who was going to pay for the food shopping this week or anything like that. However, I know plenty of people who do run their finances separately and that works for them. It really does seem to be an individual thing. My husband and I have our own debts, but we pool resources and pay those debts off together using our joint income. He has always had his salary paid into my account since we moved in together, and then we got his name added to make it a joint account. He has never had the 'my money I earn it' mentality, and I think that is why it works for us. He works to earn money for us, and not for himself. Like I say, different things work for different people, but our finances are well and truly joint.

Your set up sounds very similar to ours. We opened a joint accoount as soon as we moved in together and everything gets paid into that. There is no his money and my money, it is all ours.

My parents have always had seperate financies and I think it has always caused a lot of resentment from my mums side as my dad has always earned the most money and has always been a bit tight with it.