Weezl and friends Phase 2 -giving it a whirl for Shirl! Testing meal plan for a month

artybear

weezl74 wrote: »

Mr Weezl and I had a really interesting conversation the other day about the way that people define themselves and create an identity through spending.


We talked about the different identities our friends have created in this way, and how attractive a lot of those choices seem to us

We also talked about how 'not spending' is probably perceived as an identity too, and yet it is something we sometimes both feel a little bit lost because of.

DH is a dentist (currently doing a PhD) so frequently meets up with peers from uni who are defining themselves with boats and cars and skiing.

But maybe they like boats and ski-ing?

Mostly he feels fine, but sometimes he wonders who he is.

Not really making any point here... just musing

Do you ever think that maybe they enjoy those hobbies rather than it being a status symbol?
b

weezl74

SusanC wrote: »

I think of my identity being defined mainly by the things I do...

of which one such defining action is spending?

weezl74

artybear wrote: »

Do you ever think that maybe they enjoy those hobbies rather than it being a status symbol?
b

I'm guessing it's both

I hope you know that I mean defining our/themselves through spending is not a negative, I think everyone does it. Often it is unconscious/subconscious.

I don't think status symbols are bad.

If I have accidentally sounded like I do, then I have misrepresented myself.

weezl74

ps I didn't see the bit inside my quote arty, yep! I am definitely assuming they LIKE those things, totally! (ermm, being a bit thick here, why would I think they didn't like them?)

artybear

hmmmmmmmmmm..............interesting topic.

I will discuss it with my peers tonight, do you think my age gives me a different viewpoint to you all?

GO ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s love you all:kisses3:xxxx

SusanC_2

weezl74 wrote: »

of which one such defining action is spending?

But to me spending money is a very minor activity and not a defining part of my identity.

weezl74

artybear wrote: »

I will discuss it with my peers tonight, do you think my age gives me a different viewpoint to you all?

this may make you laugh but I don't relate to you as a non-peer arty

and, this might be me being slow on the uptake but I didn't know we did see it differently.

SusanC_2

I would also say that what an individual defines as being "extravagant" will not only depend on their own circumstances and preferences but will also vary depending on other occasion specific factors. It is very subjective and cannot be objectively defined.

weezl74

SusanC wrote: »

But to me spending money is a very minor activity and not a defining part of my identity.

that is very interesting.

Part of how I understand and define you is due to your spending (in the sense that I form an idea of everyone however remotely or virtually I 'know' them). I think we are probably saying quite a similar thing, because I would describe it as a minor part, but not quite as small as a very minor part. Does that make sense?

Like one of the constructs I have for you is 'frugal' but it is not as big as 'thoughtful and careful with language'. And of course there are some of the constructs I have for you which are overlapping, but which might include spending, like 'a parent who cares a lot about child safety so would invest in a high quality well researched car seat', IYSWIM?

Arty:), please don't feel I am being negative about DHs friend's spending. I honestly don't think, 'they shouldn't do that'. I may be wrong, but I think maybe you think I'm saying that, but I'm not. (And am a little troubled that my posts may seem that way since in real life I don't think I seem judgemental like that )

weezl74

artybear wrote: »

I just got the impression you think people have things for the sake of it rather than because they like them.

Erm, I'm not sure if I think either of those things, or that I was meaning to comment on the individual's feeling about the things that are bought.

It's more of a philosophical belief that we are all of us all the time defining ourselves through speech-acts (of which writing on internet fora is one) and also sometimes through spending-acts, as well as, as susan says, lots of other kinds of acts.

The only reason it is relevant here (to my mind) is that if shirley or kitty are using spending on food to create an identity (as are we all) then the way forward for her has to be that the new food and spending on food identity fits the bill for her. Or else it won't work.

for any of us and our inner shirley's I mean