Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

I knew I will remember – of course when I remembered the idea I mentioned yesterday turned out not to be so brilliant after all. But I was thinking about our apprehension to give things up. It is a bit like we all subconsciously feel that if we give something up – or decide to change direction dramatically – this is an admission of defeat; something to be ashamed of; something dishonorable. At the same time this unwillingness to give things up paralyses us and stops us growing and developing; it keeps us within our comfort zone.

I know someone who is not very happy with his job. In fact, he has never been very keen on his job, ever; if it were his choice he would have never got into academia to begin with. Being academic did not come from his soul; it is not his essence but was thrust upon him. This friend has been mentioning for the last four or five years that he will have to think what he wants to do but he never does. What stops him getting out? I believe it is exactly this feeling that if he does that he would be admitting that he is not good at it, the he ‘could not crack it’. Which is of course complete and utter tosh – he is very good at it. One can be very good at things that they don’t particularly enjoy doing.

I am so pleased that I had the presence of mind to get out of management. It was a similar situation – I was very good at it; I had what I call ‘water style leadership’ where you do not lead from the front, or from behind but surround people with opportunities. I built things…and these are very successful. But this excursion into the hierarchies of power took me away from my family and gave me an ulcer, and high blood pressure. I was really good at it but one of the best decisions I ever made was to get out of it.

I am wondering how often we stick with what is does not make us happy just because we do not see that giving it up is not a weakness but a great strength?

Firewalker

InaPickle

Firewalker wrote: »

I am wondering how often we stick with what does not make us happy just because we do not see that giving it up is not a weakness but a great strength?

I think that for most people, the answer to that is 'all too often'. I am currently in that situation, stuck in a job I hate. I am trying to get out, but haven't necessarily been trying as hard as I could as I was partially scared of being knocked back if I want to get into something I actually really like, and also because these things do become something of a habit, even though it's not one we necessarily like.

Here's to me busting out - well done on already having done it, Firewalker! :T

thriftyscotslass

Firewalker, you write beautifully. Even tho' I am only on page 5 you have given me so much already to think about. Thank you.

I think hope often keeps people stuck in unhappy situations - we hope that things will improve often because hoping that the change we want will come to us is easier than effecting change. Einstein quoted that one of the definitions of insanity was repeating the same behaviour over and over again whilst hoping for different results.

So on that thought, I am off to cook some fridge-bottom veggies and freeze them to be used later - waste not want not, Thriftyxxxx

Firewalker

InaPickle wrote: »

I was partially scared of being knocked back if I want to get into something I actually really like

Here's to me busting out - well done on already having done it, Firewalker! :T

Pickle, this is it. Most people never breakaway from toxic situations, be it jobs or relationships, because they are afraid of getting knocked back. But this fear is predicated on seeing the knocked back as something negative. In fact being knocked back is the most powerful thing that makes us grow and develop, that makes us learn.

And yes here's to you busting out.

Firewalker

InaPickle

Firewalker wrote: »

Pickle, this is it. Most people never breakaway from toxic situations, be it jobs or relationships, because they are afraid of getting knocked back. But this fear is predicated on seeing the knocked back as something negative. In fact being knocked back is the most powerful thing that makes us grow and develop, that makes us learn.

And yes here's to you busting out.

Firewalker

I now know. I just read 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' which is briliiant. I think it has changed my attitude to everything lots. Before I was a massive combined fear of failure + perfectionism who thought that anything less than perfect was abject failure, but now I am not. (Well, it is a combination of that book and a lot of life experience, I feel.) I'm less afraid of failing now, which means that ultimately, I will be more successful. Once, of course, I get doing that kind of stuff cos I've finished tidying my bedroom. :rotfl:

Firewalker

This morning I woke up and was setting myself up for getting back into the swing of things but what a day I had…it absolutely rocked:cool:. Worked from home and this is always good: no spending on bus tickets, coffees and, occasionally chocolate; no wasting time (about an hour) to get to the office; and no time spend talking to people. Also having nice coffee (we have this really good espresso machine and high quality coffee) and paella for lunch (from the freezer).
One of the things at the moment is that January is shaping to be a very busy month for me. I’ll be travelling quite a bit (to Florence, London, Brussels, Rome and Paris but please do not feel sorry for me) which looks nice. But each and every trip involves quite a bit of preparation and papers have to be written for at least three trips. Loads of writing this is.

I have been in a similar situation before and although I did the writing I ended up with really painful wrists. So today, I decided to check how this programme that I got a month ago works – Dragon Naturally Speaking. It is a dream; spend the whole day talking into a mike and it writes for me. Was so pleased and think that this will speed me up considerably – I have always talked more than I wrote (imagine how much I talk:rotfl:) and everyone speaks faster than they type. Might be able to finish all this then…

Three other things happened: a) Middle Son cooked delicious lasagna; b) OH renewed the house insurance for £401 and it is all paid; c) the friend for whom I wrote a business plan came to see me and we are going for it, for making it happen. Oh, and I wrote a prayer (Money Fritter as a poet with gift you could stop reading now, if you are at all):

“Dear Universe, let money flow to my family like the Magic buses go up Wilmslow Road: plentiful, regular and when I want it.”

This is it for now and can’t wait to have a bit more fun with writing/dictating tomorrow.

Firewalker

Lara44

Made me smile

Nym_Mcfroglet

I really like that prayer Firewalker. I used to live on the Magic Bus route so I can just imagine you standing there figuratively hitching up your skirt and all the trail of buses skidding to a halt....

InaPickle

Sounds like a good day, Firewalker!

I've heard good things about Dragon before. I hope it works really well for you.

NorthernLas

Pickle - While you are in the job, can you identify just one or two things that you like about it (even if it is something like meeting people, or paying the rent etc.)

Louise Hay (I think) says that you have to make way for the new by letting the old go. In terms of releasing you from where you are and onto new opportunities, could you look for a potential replacement for you? If you were on the interview panel what would you say to them that would mean they would take the job and set you free to pursue other things?

NL x