Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Up and ready for a busy working day. The plan for today is to have a run and after that to read a PhD thesis and prepare for examining it. But the thing that I am thinking ism why do I have to work most Sundays? And not work beyond and above my job but doing bits and pieces for work.

Over Christmas I will have to have a good look at what I am doing and how much I am doing. Need to start focusing better – identify the two or three things that I really would like to achieve and start pursuing them. Otherwise life gets too busy and little things keep slipping through the net – mainly little pleasures that go un-noticed and un-recognised.

On a different matter, I did the accounts for last week – we have spent £71 on food (stocked up on passata and went to the Turkish shop); £61 we have spent on other things (mainly wine but this is probably for a long time since we don’t drink much or regularly); and of course £26 on my nails (which are so much not me that are worth it only for the experience). In total we have spent £158 – not too bad in the grand scheme of things.

I also checked the calculations of the new money management system that we are introducing from January – the one with ‘I am worth it’ funds. It looks like it might work and if it does it would be great – but we shall see.

Now breakfast and run for me.

Firewalker

gilligansyle

Hi FW
I was interested to read your % scheme, and the stuff about the house actually just sitting there doing nothing. If it works for you, it may be a better way to go. I have been thinking of ways to make my house work for me, which are based around the fact that DS is older, and working, and will want a house of his own someday. I would like to be able to help him with that, but at the moment thats not possible.

You should also think about the amount of time you spend 'working' when not actually in work. I know given the nature of your work it is difficult, but it can be draining.

Cheery_Daff

Morning Firewalker,

You're so right what you say about the little things! My mum brought us up on her own, and we didn't have much money, and she'd always pick up 1p if she found it on the floor, and say 'yes, it's only 1p, but if you're 1p short for a loaf of bread they won't let you have it'. She never got into debt, and we managed just fine.

When I first found MSE, I started to keep a spending diary. My wages were 1.5 times what they are now, and I had a large overdraft and credit cards too, and nothing to show for it. My spending diary showed that I was spending £200 a month sometimes on a chocolate bar here, a cup of tea and a cake in a cafe, bus fare, just small things like that. Things that I do include in my budget now, but far less, and done, like you say, consciously.

As my grandma, and my mum, and lots of other people, said - 'look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves'. How right they were!

(and good on you for looking at your working patterns! You shouldn't need to be working weekends.) And well done for sorting Christmas so easily! :T

InaPickle

Hey Firewalker!

The nails will grow with your natural nails, so you after a few weeks you will start to notice a gap between your cuticle and where the nail was applied. On most people it becomes visible to other people after about 3 weeks(ish), so you generally have to go and what is called an 'infill', where they add more acrylic to the exposed area, and blend it in with the existing nail. At that point, you can change the colour you have, if you choose.

Hope that helps.

Firewalker

Pickle, can I cut the blasted things? For two reasons: 1) instead of making me feel like 'million dollars' they make me feel really cheap; 2) more importantly it is hard to type with them.

Any help appreciated.

Firewalker

Keeping_Motivated

FW I wouldn't cut them but you can file then down no problem.

If you want to take them off then you need to soak them in acetone for a good while and keep scraping off the 'goo' until they are clean off or the salon can do this for you for a charge. Well that is the kindest way to your nails anyway, the other way is to wait until they are so outgrown that they pick off easily but I wouldn't recommend this as it can damage your natural nails.

Firewalker

gilligansyle wrote: »

Hi FW
I was interested to read your % scheme, and the stuff about the house actually just sitting there doing nothing. If it works for you, it may be a better way to go. I have been thinking of ways to make my house work for me, which are based around the fact that DS is older, and working, and will want a house of his own someday. I would like to be able to help him with that, but at the moment thats not possible.

You should also think about the amount of time you spend 'working' when not actually in work. I know given the nature of your work it is difficult, but it can be draining.

Hi Gilli, and thanks. You are right - the thing is that different options are open. Our house is decent size but grown up sons have been coming back so it is not possible to make it 'work for us'. And then, it turned out that our main issue is financial management - in all senses.

Firewalker

Firewalker

And another day of philosophy done – for me today there were two different things. Had to ask a colleague to take my morning class because I had double booked myself again – promised to examine a PhD thesis. Spookily enough the thesis was drawing on the same branch of philosophy my class was supposed to be. After that I did my afternoon class. Good news is that the thesis was robustly examined, no compromises were made, and the candidate will re-work the thesis and keep his Post Doc position. As to the philosophy class it not only went well but also was my last regular teaching for the academic year – from January on I am going to do only research (interrupted with very few sessions with undergrads).

The news that is not so good is that my Dad is not doing too well. My sister phoned and my Dad has lost his mind (but it sound more like a delirium that comes at once rather than the prolonged decline of dementia). This happened a week ago (she did not tell me immediately). Since yesterday he cannot walk. It sounds like a rather rapid decline.

My Dad was a very good and proud man. And I do realise that this might come across really wrong but I do find myself sending a wish to the Universe that goes like that:

‘Dear Universe, please do not keep my Dad suffering long and ensure that he preserves at least a little of the dignity left to him. All his life he was in love with his wife, my Mum. In fact, thinking about it she was THE MAIN THING in his life. She has been calling him for close to eighteen months now – please let him go to her. This is his choice, this is what he really wants to do. Respect his wish and help him.’

I feel too upset to write more – good night.

Firewalker

Sea78

Oh fw- so sorry to hear this - I do hope that the universe listens to you.

Massive hugs

xxxxxx

Craftyscholar

Firewalker wrote: »

My Dad was a very good and proud man. And I do realise that this might come across really wrong but I do find myself sending a wish to the Universe that goes like that:

‘Dear Universe, please do not keep my Dad suffering long and ensure that he preserves at least a little of the dignity left to him. All his life he was in love with his wife, my Mum. In fact, thinking about it she was THE MAIN THING in his life. She has been calling him for close to eighteen months now – please let him go to her. This is his choice, this is what he really wants to do. Respect his wish and help him.’

I feel too upset to write more – good night.

Firewalker

Sending you the strength to cope with what lies ahead.

Your feelings do not come across as wrong to me - I felt the same way when my strong capable organised mother's health started to fail.