Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

brizzledfw

FW..have been lurking on your powerful and inspirational thread for a while..seems like a good time to send you my thoughts and very best wishes for a peaceful time for you your family and your dad. Hope your prayers in whatever form are answered


Brizzle x

macgirl

Sorry to hear about your Dad.
We all want a dignified end for our loved ones, however painful it may be for those left behind. Godspeed to him to a better place and hugs to you FW. Take care x

williamD1964

My friend, I really feel your pain and have been where you are now. My mother was seriously ill for a long time. At first I so wanted her to stay with us, but after seeing her in constant pain, , I wished for her release. I honestly believe that there is nothing wrong with this.

Draw strength from the fact that he will remain with you in your memories, and the fact that he has a produced a wonderful daughter and mother.

savingwannabe

I am sorry dear Firewalker and William too. 3Dogs is going through this too on our thread. I will pray that things will become more manageable for you all and for those who are ill and those they leave behind. Sometimes you can't say much, it has already been said. Bless you my friends.

From the Bible, Ecclesiastes III (King James Version), (the Byrds sang a version too and called it turn, turn, turn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LSTc-5Fn_Y a good song for all those times):

3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.


http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/141100.html

hypno06

Hugs to you and to your family FW.

xx

groatie_queen

Wishing you, your father, and all your family peace and strength, dear Firewalker.

Love

GQ xox

NorthernLas

FW - My Dad also had dementia. In his last few months he inhabited the 'other side' much more than this world.

I believe that your Dad will leave this one when it is his 'time to go'. With my Dad, I could take comfort that although he did not know us and was paralysed with a stroke, he was spending more and more time in a place he was happy in and with spirits of his past.

Take comfort that you have happy memories of your Dad as proud and good, and that you have done your best for him. I know that this is difficult when your most recent memories are of the shell that he has become. But his body is just that, a shell for his soul. He will go when the time is right and he will be with people who he loves.

NL x

Ellidee

Thinking of you Firewalker.xx

Firewalker

My Dad’s situation has not changed much today accept that he has reached acceptance; but he has not eaten or drank anything because he refuses to. All my sister’s attempts to get something inside him have failed; he told her that they will give him everything he needs where he is going.

My way to cope with grief is through reason – my displacement is thinking about something that makes me change reality. When four year ago, I was told that Little Boy might have lymphoma (which he did not have; it was just that behind one of his tonsils there was loads of infection) I wrote one of my most inspired papers. Tonight I need to write and tell you about something that struck me in a book.

The main argument in the book is that poor people, middle class people and rich people think in a different way. And if one wants to be rich they have to change the way in which they think – nothing very exciting here, in fact we all probably could have come up with this within about 15 minutes. After that, the author goes on to outline some of the differences between the way poor people think and the way rich people think. This is much more exciting but even this is not so unique. What really struck cord with me was the following: poor people think that the sequence is ‘have-do-be’ whereby rich people think that it is ‘be-do-have’.

Apart from seeming the logical sequence, the ‘be-do-have’ one has at least two serious implications: a) having is conditional on transforming oneself in feeling, attitude, thought and competence, and on action; and 2) having is an outcome of personal growth, experience and living rather than their precondition.

Fascinating and worth sharing, I think.
And the thought for today is:

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." - Lao-Tzu

Firewalker

Firewalker

A brief note while I am resting – breaking all MG’s rules, I am afraid, and instead of getting water or moving around I am resting but writing here. Well, she will tell me off if she knew but then again fair is fair.

Yesterday I was thinking again about the little things that make our lives. Many of us think that life has some grand purpose and consists of great significant events. I used to think that…But now I have come to realise that there is no grand purpose or intention; that there are about three things that are important in our lives (health, procreation and wealth) and that life consists of very significant events but they are usually so small that we miss them.

Yesterday was an example of how something small can change your day. I had my haircut with the guy who has done it for over ten years now; so we know each other quite well. Let put it this way – I was around through his divorce, his second marriage, the birth of his children, his Mum’s illness. He cut my hair first when I was pregnant with Little Boy. So, yesterday he asked after different members of my family and when he asked after my Dad I just started crying and told him. Naturally, I was feeling rather gloomy after leaving the salon.

Then I was walking back, engrossed in my thoughts and heard this beautiful music. It was one of the well know Christmas songs which would have sounded annoying. Except that it was played as jazz – it was improvised and there was a certain element of chalga in it (chalga is another name for the rhythm of gypsy music). Sure enough – there were five gypsy guys (I think they were continental Roma) having great time themselves and playing this song that went straight to ones heart and lifted it to heaven.

This changed my day and allowed me to open to the experience of the world.

Firewalker