Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Hi Ninky,

I would agree with you that the cost of people's time can vary greatly. And probably that is why most self-help books would advice people to think of their time as money - and by inference, to stop wasting it. But than...Is the cost of an hour of our time the same when we work and when we watch TV?

Sometime ago, our dishwasher stopped working. Of course I immediately wanted to call an engineer out but this would have costed a minimum of £100 and probably involved buying a new dishwasher. So OH decided to mend it - this took him about 2h 30 min and was done in the evenings when he would normally watch TV. His comment was: 'I always think about my time as very expensive to spend on such tasks. But it actually is not as expensive in the evening.'

We need to rest - is it possible to do some of all these MSE things and convert them into rest time. With me, the one thing that is not likely to work like that is gardening - absolutely loat it.

End of break now - have to get back to my other writing.

Firewalker

Firewalker

This is a snippet I wrote sometime ago - my reaction to the dreaded little bottles with energy drinks that seem to proliferate at present.

...gives you wings?

Have you been to a news-agent or a supermarket recently? Than you have probably noticed that everywhere at tills there are lined little bottles looking like washing up liquid and promising you instant energy. 'The only energy shot that gives you a boost guaranteed', 'The energy shot to make your brain twirl', 'The energy shot that will send you into orbit'.

Never seen anyone buy these little bottles but this does not mean that no one does. What I am wondering though is what do people think when they see the little bottles that look like washing up liquid and probably don't taste much better either. Do you, for example, think 'Great, I will try this when I need to' or do you think 'Sugary rubbish that costs too much and achieves too little'.

Do you wish to know what I think? I am thinking it is totally screwed up to offer people energy drinks. If one is lacking in energy they are very likely tired and in this case they need rest, not energy drinks. Next time I am in the super market I do not get upset by the sight of the little bottles, I do not even get cross by the Red Bull adverts. I start laughing so hard that the spotty cashier is about to press the button for help. Then I whisper the reason to him and he starts laughing as well.

I can just see empty trays and above them big letters in an exploding caption saying: 'Stuff energy drinks! GO GET SOME REST!

Firewalker

Firewalker

Couple of nights ago I wrote about the difference between thinking of one self as ‘poor’ and thinking of one self as ‘broke’. Tonight, my intention is to write about something else that stayed with me from Robert Kiyosaki’s ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’: don’t say ‘I can’t afford it’ but ask ‘how can I afford it’. So what are the differences and what would I chose?

First, ‘I can’t afford it’ is a statement of fact. Being a statement means that it is final and being a fact implies that it has been accepted. Saying ‘I can’t afford it’ prevents us from acting and makes us accept defeat. ‘How can I afford it’ while recognising the limitations of the situation, is a question. There is no acceptance – quite the reverse. Questions are our way to look for change, to look for a way out of a situation, to look for opportunities. In terms of coats and cloth, this means that by saying ‘I can’t afford it’ we can easily end up with a short and tight coat; asking ‘how can I afford it’ means that we might be without a coat for some time but when we get one it would be just right. It can become a problem if we can’t wait for the coat and use a CC – but people on this forum know a lot about this one.

Second, and more importantly in my opinion, the difference between ‘I can’t afford it’ and ‘how can I afford it is that the former is very difficult for spending addicts to cope with. ‘I can’t afford it’ emphasises the ‘it’, the thing that we desire but cannot have. Any addict knows that this only makes you want it more, and more until you crack...’How can I afford it’ displaces the attention from it to how. In other words, since having it is not denied but just postponed there is no frustration but creative effort.

What would I chose? Most definitely ‘how can I afford it’! But I do come from a cultural background of joyful abandonment where depravity and suffering are really not seen as virtues.

On a more practical note, true to my promise and to the weekly menu I did cook lemon chicken tonight (bless Nintendo DS and the cooking chip I have). Even more interestingly, today during one of my breaks I made ice-cream – used the recipe from this board. It is delicious. All my men are very impressed.

Firewalker

Firewalker

While cycling to work today, I was thinking about some of the things that I say in this diary. And remembered that I made a very absolute statement here, I said that ‘I loath gardening’. Which happens to be true but that is not the point. Immediately I remembered that not so long ago I didn’t find much point to cooking – but rather saw it as a negative energy flow. Expending loads of energy for very limited return, that is. After that I thought: ‘Oh dear! And whilst thinking about these things I am riding a bike.’ Not even three months ago only thinking about cycling to work....well lets say that I wouldn’t have had to be asleep to start screaming. As to running, ten years ago I used to say that my favourite sport is sitting in coffee bars – and though it sounds like a joke it was the God honest truth. I spend most of my life in coffee bars until ‘I just felt like running’.

And again the point is not really that I have started doing all these things - running, cooking, cycling to work – but that I really take pleasure in them. Running is not only part of my plan to defeat the aging process but a necessity of my life. For the first time I understand how cooking and even baking can be relaxing. As to cycling – lets just say that I have good life insurance and I would like one day to go across America on a motorbike. And no, it has nothing to do with Easy Rider, and I am certainly not growing a funny moustache.

This made me think that we have become very frivolous with words like ‘hate’, ‘loath’, ‘never’, ‘I can’t’, ‘love’, ‘adore’, ‘worship’ etc. These are strong words, all of them, and we probably would do better if we remember to add little words after. ‘I hate still’, ‘I love still’, ‘I can’t yet’...
Well, I really hate gardening – still.

Firewalker

ninky_2

do you have a garden? if so lucky you. i would love to have a garden. we have filled our little roof terrace with pots and likewise the little space we have at the front of our terrace house now has a homemade trough for planting made from some old doors. i've been on the allotment waiting list over five years now. so i would love to garden but at the moment it has to be limited to pots. planting something in the earth and watching it grow is one of the finest pleasures in life. it makes you so much more aware of the seasons and when they have arrived.

i hate the fact so many houses have concreted or decked over their gardens. not only does this lead to street flooding (nowhere for the water to go) it reminds me so much of that song about the tree museum.....Don't it always seem to go/ that you don't know what you got till it's gone / They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

Firewalker

Yes we do have a garden - at the front and at the back of the house, Not very large, but still...In the front we have a large magnolia tree - it is truely magnificent but nothing but a bit of moss frows under it. In the back, we have grass and some flowers and plants I don't know the names of.

I like gardens - I just, for the time being don't like to work in them, or for that matter know what to do with them. Which is probably part of my upbringing - I grew up in apartments, in cities. I was probably about 12 before I saw a horse - scared the hell out of me because I was supposed to ride the thing. Hence my link with nature is tenuous, at best.

Better get back to my working now - have to finish something and overslept. Had one of my bad nights last night - starting to worry about life and everything in it late at night is not good.

Firewalker

ninky_2

you could try just planting some sunflower seeds. there is a real childish joy in seeing how tall they will grow. very easy stick them in the earth and all you have to do is water occassionally.

Firewalker

Tonight I did something that I have never done before – entered a competition. Earlier today I received an e-mail inviting me to enter a competition to win a really swanky, super-duper, attractive Dell laptop. Normally I would not – well I have never won anything in any competition. And I have found money only twice in my entire life and one of these was my money that I had misplaced.

Why did I do it tonight? First when I said that I have never won anything – this was not entirely true. About ten years ago I won the best prize ever – he is asleep upstairs and was conceived by IVF on our first attempt. The probability for the IVF to result in a healthy baby was only about 17% and even a compulsive gambler like me saw it as a bad bet. Second, my life lately has been all about breaking routines – changing habits, trying new things, losing my fear, curbing my greed. Entering the competition is just breaking another routine. And third, seeing this machine took my breath away and my heart racing. Entering the competition is better than going off and buying it.

This is another temptation to deal with. Why do I need three laptops? I can’t use all of them at the same time – so have gone to an arrangement where they are used for different things. Has to stop – no more gadgets, have more than enough.


Savingwannabe, if you see this all the best for tomorrow - deep breaths and keep cool.
Firewalker

Firewalker

Today is a very boring day workwise - have to finish something I have been trying to avoid for too long. But having a low boredom treshold I have been trying to entertain myself by opening a book with sayings at random and reflecting on one saying.

And the saying is:

"To be happy for an hour, get drunk; to be happy for a year, fall in love; to be happy for life, take up gardening." - Chinese proverb

Is the 'Supreme Being of Choice' trying to tell me something, I wonder?

A very bored Firewalker

Firewalker

Today should count as a good day, really. To begin with, I finished the boring piece of work – done, dusted and e-mailed. True – worked on it for about 9 hours straight but this doesn’t normally bother me. At least I was at home.

OH has been a cheerful and cheery presence as well. He had a break through with his coding – writing a programme to do something fancy on his website. Also £1,098 arrived in our account for work he did.

To top it all I did the accounts for April – and although we are over budget I know exactly why this is. We are £50 under budget for food (all this cooking paying off, I think); £63 over budget on little boy spend (mainly for music lessons); and £52 over budget on petrol (misjudgement of trip to Brighton). More worryingly, there is un-budgeted expenditure of £194.41. This is the one I ought to watch – and again it is mainly me who has done it. Did we need a new duvet? Probably not or not immediately anyway! Similarly spending £44 on books – well need to think twice next time. Final score – a monthly deficit of £136.25. And this is to be avoided at all costs. But at least now I understand – and once I understand I can act.

Why am I feeling so upset than? Why did I burst into tears and announce that I hate my life (still)?

Off to bed and a good book now – will write again soon.

Firewalker