Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

Yesterday I felt really tired – probably still an after-effect from last Sunday’s exertions. Tried to focus on my work but it was no use. With one exception – managed to re-write the front page of OH’s website and he is quite happy with it. So instead of trying to concentrate on work and failing, I decided to do some of this budgeting stuff.

First, took a deep breath and did the MSE budget planner. There were surprises but rather pleasant and encouraging ones. We are green for this year – by a lot. And we were not only honest we were generous with some of the categories. This made me feel much better, and at the same time really cross. If we are green by so much this year how did we manage to build up a debt of over £90,000? Thoughtless and budget-less – that is what we were. We also know now that, probably like many people on this forum, we have two major expenditure items: mortgage and debt repayment. Can’t wait to get rid of the latter – then the time for some really serious asset building will come.

After that did the weekly expenditure. Amazingly last week we spent on food only £34 and in the three weeks from the beginning of April we have spent £137. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I have not been starving my family – as mentioned before we do buy loads of meat, cheese and fish in bulk from COSTCO. My freezer chest was also overflowing with frozen meals. But now is time to replenish the reserves.

Altogether a day well spend. Not feeling scared any longer – the difference between what we earn and what we spend is rather large at the moment. Just hope we will be able to keep it like that.

Now is time to go for a bike ride with little boy – a beautifully sunny day here.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Saturday, a day for mundane household jobs. Till now, the following have been done:

Shopping for food – 1. And what a glorious shop this was! If one opens our freezer, one might think that we have been preparing for famine. The upshot is that we have meat and cheese for the next eight weeks.

Washing – 2 loads. All dried outside on the drying line rather than in the tumble-drier. Good for the planet, good for us.

Bathrooms cleaned – 3. No, I have not started cleaning neighbours’ bathrooms – each of us has a bathroom but I am the one washing them. Except one – I just refuse to go in it.

Dinners cooked (almost) – 1. Pork steaks sizzling calmingly in the grilly frying pen thing (it probably has a very fancy French name, but I don’t know it).

Wisdoms achieved – 1. Never question what you were given – it will come handy and sooner than you think. Probably.

Probably need to say a bit more about the last point. For a long distance runner the goody bag at the end of a race is really important. I, for one, always look for a Mars bar. Hardly ever get it though. When I finished Loch Ness marathon the goody bag had cans of Baxter soup in it. Last Sunday – finished, looked no Mars bar. Had to swap the oats biscuit for a chocolate with a very nice bloke. But in the goody bag I found: face cream, body scrub, anti-perspirant and a little bottle of Ecover multi surface cleaner. All useless, I thought, when are these people going to learn – give me chocolate, give me food, give me Vaseline (don’t even ask). But today, I run out of cleaner – so used the Ecover.

Oh and I start feeling tired again. Wonder why? Probably need one of ‘This horrid sugary drink will give you wings’ things. What do you think?

Firewalker

savingwannabe

You are tired as you need to rest after cleaning so many bathrooms!

Gosh, i fell asleep too. 3 hours, blaming it on the heat. Just woke up. Utterly ashamed.

:j

Firewalker

Sometime ago I mentioned that there are two sides to financial health. One is the growing difference between income and expenditure. Basic, I know, but many still don’t realise that it is better to earn £300 and spend £270 than earn £1.2 million and spend £1.4 million. And two, higher proportion of one’s income should come from assets. Which of course brings to attention the importance of assets.

Tonight I will write – and try to think about myself through that – about the difference between being ‘poor’ and being ‘broke’. This is another one I learned from a book entitled ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’. There Robert Kiyosaki argued that ‘poor’ is forever while ‘broke’ is temporary. But even more importantly ‘broke’ is a situation which can be changed while ‘poor’ is a state of mind affecting the very core of your being. ‘Poor’ is a victim while ‘broke’ retains control.

When I was at University, I used to think about myself as ‘broke’. This meant that I never had much money but than nobody else had any either. We all used to live a rather bohemian life at the beginning of the month (when our maintenance was paid), by mid-month limit drinking, and by the end of the month eat only when really necessary. But there was not even a question in my mind that this was temporary and that I had choice. Even if that choice was to ask my Dad for more money.

Then I moved here – doing my PhD, having very little money and no support network. Which also means – no choice. And I don’t know how did this happen but here I started thinking of myself as ‘poor’. Developing a ‘poverty’ consciousness goes with loads of insecurity. Since being ‘poor’ is forever what you have is never enough. You start hoarding – you hoard shoes, cloths, food...And you hoard food not only in storage cabinets but also on your body...Yes, believing that you are poor goes with considerably weight gain or failure to lose weight. I put 3 stone on in the space of as many months. And it did take hell of a long time to shift it...

After I met OH and we started living together, I gradually lost my fear of poverty – and with that I lost the weight, and a bit of the hoarding...But I also completely transferred responsibility for finance to OH – which in retrospect was probably unfair. So when he mentioned the big D my first reaction was to flip into believing us ‘poor’, again.

Are we really ‘poor’? No, we are just ‘broke’ – and one day we’ll back on our feet. The image of crossing this line...

Firewalker

savingwannabe

You are making a fantastic effort. You can beat this and you are inspiring so many of us on the way.

:j

Firewalker

Thanks for your support, Savingwannabe. Thinking, rationalising, writing - it all helps. But from time to time panic still sets in, images of gloom crawling from the deep recesses of my mind.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

When that happens focus on people who love you. You are precious to your family and will be a success to them regardless. Just think of the quality time, love and consideration you give to your little ones. Think happy thoughts my friend, goodnight.

:j

Firewalker

Just back from the cinema – saw a movie called ‘Dear John’. A bit sentimental but otherwise OK. Although it is rather late I have to write – keeping this diary is becoming a condition for my wellbeing.

I need to document that today, April 26th, with one giant leap I joined the most experienced and savvy MSE-ers. Regretfully, we all think that it was a complete accident and is very likely that it would never be repeated again. I who about three months ago came back with one item saying ‘buy 1 get 1 free’, who did not know (and probably will still have a problem remembering) the price of a pint of milk, managed to make dinner for three adults and little boy for about £1,65.

And we all thought that it is really delicious –and then we realised that if we have Muller yoghurt for dessert this would double the cost of dinner. All found this really funny.

Right, suspense over: we had pork, potato and carrots stew prepared in the slow cooker with home made bread. And yes – young man and little boy had yoghurt as well. How did it work out so cheap is that I used pork shank. Surprisingly, this was really good in stew (but need to be brought to boil before cooking).

Well tomorrow, I will cook lemon chicken.

Firewalker

azkaban420

Hey Firewalker, good luck on your DFW quest - look forward to reading more

Az

ninky_2

firewalker thankyou for your indepth consideration of my comment on time. i too spend a fair bit of time thinking about time (in the sense of lifetime).

you draw a distinction between time as and asset and time as a resource. i am not so very convinced that assets and resources are so very different. i suppose the difference with the time resource / asset is that it is constantly spent and cannot be saved. life time in the culture we have created also has a different price for different people. or to put it another way, different people have different earning potential in our culture. so some will earn only the minimum wage (or even nothing if they are stay at home mothers or similar) whilst others have a very high hourly earning potential.

this makes frugality a little more complicated. if you have a high earning potential for your time does it make sense to use it making hummus or cleaning the bath or all those other things you could infact pay someone else a low wage to do for you - therefore freeing your time to earn more? personally i have a more philosophical outlook to these tasks. i believe it is a good thing to clean one's own dirt or prepare simple meals. but this is not necessarily to do with moneysaving.

as for those 'drinks that give you wings'. don't do it. all they do is release your stored resources (energy supplies built up from food) quickly - i am thinking of the cal free high taurine versions. why would a person want to do that? calories are an asset / resource too!