Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Sea78

ooooh one I can answer straight away!!!


· What do you do when things don’t work immediately? (Imagine yourself in this situation and play the scene your mind. Be truthful.)
Depends - usually give up.

· If you have a choice between doing something that will bring immediate returns and something that will bring higher return but in a year what would you chose?

Immediate returns

· Do you knit, do embroidery or something similar?
Yes, I knit, and scrapbook.
· Do you like doing fiddly things?
Yes, like the scrapbooking, which can get very fiddly!

· How many mistakes have you made in the last week?

A few, not as many as sometimes, depends on defiinition of mistakes reall.

· How many new things have you tried in the last week?
about 4 - trying!!

So in some instances I can be persistent and work things through to the end - for example at work - but things in my personal life are very different. However, I have worked hard on my recovery and carried on through when things have got really tough.

Thanks FW
xxxx

Firewalker

It happened again - last night I dreamt that we are moving. This time it was a house in Nothenden - next to a church (I don't rmember any of the places I dreamt in Northenden). Anyway, the house was rather strange - this time there were open spaces, rather large, needed re-decorating. But then, there were no walls between our ground floor and the neighbours - a group of men living in the house next door were watching TV and they were next to us. I was walking around and talking to someone but I never saw them. And to get to the garden one had to go through small passages - dark and spooky.

I think I am probably tired.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

It still sounds really unsettling. You are going on a journey of personal development on this thread (and at the same time, inspiring, encouraging and comforting us along the way) and continuously investing in yourself and pushing yourself despite the problems with your health this week plus you have an occupation which requires pretty profound thoughts some peculiar dreams are inevitable maybe. I wish they weren't.

This weekend Firewalker spend time with your family and keep hugging them ok. Whatever is going on you will get there in the end I have no doubt about it.

Craftyscholar

Are you my twin???

Sea78 wrote: »

· What do you do when things don’t work immediately? (Imagine yourself in this situation and play the scene your mind. Be truthful.)
Depends - usually give up.

Me too

Sea78 wrote: »

· If you have a choice between doing something that will bring immediate returns and something that will bring higher return but in a year what would you chose?

Immediate returns

Probably Immediate return.

Sea78 wrote: »

· Do you knit, do embroidery or something similar?
Yes, I knit, and scrapbook.
· Do you like doing fiddly things?
Yes, like the scrapbooking, which can get very fiddly!

embroidery and sewing
No problem with fiddly if I am enjoying it and it is not going wrong.

Sea78 wrote: »

· How many mistakes have you made in the last week?
A few, not as many as sometimes, depends on defiinition of mistakes reall.
· How many new things have you tried in the last week?
about 4 - trying!!

Not many mainly because I haven't tried anything:o

Sea78

lol - hey there twin!!

Actually, I've been working hard at a training day at school today and I find I can get really inspired and positive about something, even if it means a lot of new things, possible mistakes etc. BUT if then negativity is poured over it, I find it really really hard to continue with the motivation, so really the perserverence is down to whether I am supported in a positive or negative way. Looking back, I see that this is a real pattern in my life, generally, when met with positivity, I work really really hard and overcome other obsticles, but when facing negativity, not great at all.

MicheH

Hello Firewalker, everyone.

It has taken me a good couple of weeks to complete reading your thread Firewalker. I have found it so inspiring, so encouraging and to a point I see it as a bit of a self help too.

I don't have debt but I was a bankrupt nearly 18 months ago. I never got to have my lightbulb moment initially as that big fall on my behind was the wake up call... too late but I will add that now I am so relieved that I have had this 'lesson' in life, a lesson that has changed me, my beliefs at what 'makes' a man and most importantly my values.

I'm a changed person, granted but I lack the 'get up and go' I've lost my drive to succeed and need to find it again. I'm currently completing a psychology degree and hope to do my PGCE at the end of it but i'm coaxing through. I see my goal, I want my goal and will work for it but you're correct. It is hard.

I'm subscribing to your thread as you mention things that are relevant to your circumstances but that I can take on and take a look at me and my circumstances. Thanks for sharing and making me open my eyes. We all lose our way sometimes huh?

savingwannabe

Miche those of us that know you cannot believe that you do not have get up and go. You have it in bucketloads. We all have every confidence in you.

Firewalker

MicheH wrote: »

Hello Firewalker, everyone.

It has taken me a good couple of weeks to complete reading your thread Firewalker. I have found it so inspiring, so encouraging and to a point I see it as a bit of a self help too.

Hi Miche, and welcome. Thank you for saying that you saw this thread as 'a bit of a self help' - writing this thread and having other people write, comment, experiment, argue and ask has been a life changing experience for me. I am happier, leveled, optimistic and believing that we (my family) have a future. A year ago I thought that my life is over and that my family will be sent to the work house (if possible, this is).

Yep, we loose our way - but this is what it means to live. As I have said before there is redemption and there are ways to give to others. We just need to work, have passion and be patient.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Crafty and Sea, you may be twins or my questions may not be working. So here is another test – my replies.

Commitment

· How many alternatives to …do you have? – I always sea many options – seeing only one is not in my character. And I am very reluctant to drop any of the alternatives. Example: I really want to write popular books but just in case I turn out crap at it I do loads of other stuff (write academic stuff, teach, present, apply for grants…). In effect, I do many other things so that I don’t commit to one big thing, so when I don’t get it it is not because I can’t but because I did not apply myself.
· When you think about it do you feel calm determination (the stillness that comes with absolute certainty)? – There are very few things about which I feel calm determination – writing popular books is not one of them. If anything I feel angst – could I do it? But if I don’t try how shall I know?
· What are you prepared to sacrifice for it? – Thinking about it not much. The sacrifice is a major issue – but where does one draw a line? Can I sacrifice my children’s inheritance?

Courage

Feeling rather terrified about the whole thing.

Persistence

· What do you do when things don’t work immediately? I will try again and again – risking damaging myself on the way. If I really want the thing this is…
· If you have a choice between doing something that will bring immediate returns and something that will bring higher return but in a year what would you chose? – Immediate return – but I suspect that this is what our culture has become about.
· Do you knit, do embroidery or something similar? – No, and never have done. Knitting and embroidery drive me mad and I have never been able to understand how people relax by doing them. I have to move to relax – physically and mentally.
· Do you like doing fiddly things? – No! The more I try the worse it gets; I get flustered and can even end up not being able to open my purse. Notorious at work for not being able to put a latter in an envelope (the ones with the window thing) – so admin people always help me with that (they know I am not posing).

Fear of failure

· How many mistakes have you made in the last week? – One big one – but it was not because I tried something new and daring but because I was tired and overlooked an important detail.
· How many new things have you tried in the last week? – None.

Well I am being really truthful. What this tells me is that I have a bit of an issue with commitment, the ensuing issues with courage, I am persistent but not patient and have fear of failure.

Next question is how to turn all this around!

And the thought for today is:

“Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut, that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive.” - Edith Wharton (1862-1937)

Firewalker

macgirl

Hi Firewalker
I love reading your thread but during the week I often don't have time to commit to reading it properly, as I like to think about the ideas you're throwing out to us.

Do I have commitment? It is not that I am unreliable but with the rest there seem to be too many choices, too many paths to choose from and this is in the way of the total commitment that success requires.
I agree with this statement wholeheartedly, there is not enough time (by that I mean when I have sufficient energy to make the commitment) and too many choices. So I end up being overwhelmed and standing still.

How can we know whether we are committed to something? I believe by answering the following questions:

· How many alternatives to …do you have? I think I'm quite dogmatic, I am determined and a "grafter" so even when things are tough (or especially when they are) I get my head down. With regards to work, there are no realistic alternatives. The same goes for my family. For me the bottom line is, if I had to find an alternative - I would.
· When you think about it do you feel calm determination (the stillness that comes with absolute certainty)? Yes
· What are you prepared to sacrifice for it? Don't know. That's a scary question - or rather the answers could be...

Courage is an interesting one. I can’t easily think of questions but I believe that each of us knows whether they have courage, whether they are brave or not. I also think that courage is not an absolute and it goes hand in hand with commitment – we are brave when we are committed. In fact, high level of commitment can lead to bravery bordering on recklessness.

I think bravery is about perception. What I deem as easy, you might see as brave and vice versa. I think I have a lion heart in some circumstances, but am a complete coward (where many others are not) in others.

Persistence is something that people either have or have to develop. I believe that a good way to reflect upon our own level of persistence is to think about the following:

What do you do when things don’t work immediately? (Imagine yourself in this situation and play the scene your mind. Be truthful.)
Get frustrated and walk away. Then cool down, reconsider and fill up my cup of determination by giving myself a good talking to, grit my teeth and go again.
· If you have a choice between doing something that will bring immediate returns and something that will bring higher return but in a year what would you chose? Definiately the latter. One of my good traits is the ability to bide my time. I have learned through experience that the best things come to those who wait
· Do you knit, do embroidery or something similar? I can knit, but it grows too slowly for me, so I prefer sewing for more instant gratification. But whatever I'm making needs to have some complicated element - I don't like making curtains or cushion covers but give me a pair of tailored trousers, or a coat and I'm in heaven!
· Do you like doing fiddly things? Yes. When I was quite young I really enjoyed untangling necklace chains - I found it strangely therapeutic!

And last but not least is having no fear of failure. Think about the following:

· How many mistakes have you made in the last week? One or two. I always reflect on the days events and whether I have said or done the right thing. I think this can be counter productive though, as it can cause me great anxiety if I think I've made a mistake However, after I've analysed it, and beaten myself up - I let it go
· How many new things have you tried in the last week? None

Thanks for sharing your thoughts FW and providing such a thought provoking thread. Have a good day