Learn to control money but do not allow it to control you

Firewalker

3 August 2010

What a day yesterday was! Or shall I start by saying what a night it was as well? None of the three of us – OH, little boy and me – got any sleep. I crashed for an hour in my study, OH was trying to sleep in the bedroom but ended up reading all night and little boy went to sleep OK and then woke up at 4.30 a.m. ready to go to the Airport – unfortunately it was an hour too early.

So after a restless and sleepless night we got out of bed, and got to the Airport – with about fifteen minutes to spare till the luggage drop off closes. We looked at the board for our flight – no flight; looked at the board for the Airline – no Airline. Mad rush around to find someone who is about so early and who knows which terminal our flight is from followed. And yep, you have guessed it – we were at the wrong terminal. I have always known that all this running I do will pay off one day but I never thought that I will be sprinting through the Airport, lugging a large suitcase, with OH and little boy in tow. We made it - and got on the plane. A similar story in Prague – just this time we went to the wrong gates and had to rush to get our connection.

Anyway, we are here and our apartment is lovely. It is hot – people here said that it is rather exceptional but for us everything over 22 would have felt hot anyway.

It is hard thinking in this heat – but we shall try. We shall also try to get the first tenfold return within the next week or so. I already snapped a bargain – missed my hairdressing appointment so the first thing I did here is to have a haircut in a little saloon over the road. The result – I ended up with a really fetching haircut which costs me...£4. If this is not tenfold I don’t know what is (but this doesn’t count as part of the game because it is saving and not making money). We also bought the most delicious feta cheese we have tried for a long time...

My eyelids start ringing with tiredness – good night.

Firewalker

4 August 2010

It is official – I am melting. Three showers a day is nothing like enough – but patience; it is known that we need to only manage to survive about a week and than we’ll be completely used to the heath. On top of this although the hardware for the internet was installed earlier today, we are still not connected. I am itching all over and displaying all symptoms of acute withdrawal. However...

What worries me more is that we have been spending quite a bit. Today, for instance, I bought a meccano set for little boy which set me back about £28 (or the equivalent of this in leva, which is the local currency). As it happens this might be a blessing in three aspects. First, little boy really loves it and spends countless hours doing meccano rather than watching TV or winging about impossibilities – like going out to play at noon. Second, this meccano set makes different things and not only one little model – which means that it can provide entertainment for longer that the normal, small sets. And three, this was a good opportunity to strike a deal – he has promised that he is not going to ask for anything else during the three weeks (and even if he asks he is not going to get). We shall see but in the long run this might turn out to be a saving.

We also went out with our former au-pair – she was with us when little boy was two and her main job was talking Bulgarian to him so he grows up bi-lingual. This did not work and he refuses to speak Bulgarian but we remained friends. It was lovely to see her, and the place we went was great and wonderful fruit but I have started disliking the bills a lot. I am turning into a miser – there has to be a third way, really.

Tomorrow we are off to the north where my parents live - to see my dad. I am getting a bit apprehensive – the day after tomorrow is one year since my mum passed away. I think I did my grieving whilst running Brighton marathon but who knows what will happen. We will use the occasion to have a little celebration of her life.

Oh Lord, when are we going to get connected? I am sending a wish to the Universe – I want internet access within the next fifteen minutes.

Firewalker

Firewalker

6 August 2010

Today I visited my Mum’s grave. After a hot and really uncomfortable night – the temperature here is 36-38 C during the day and it is really hot during the night – my sister, her grandson and the three of us got a taxi to the cemetery. It is nice – my sister did a really good job choosing the headstone and the rest. We did leave flowers – carnations, my Mum’s favourite – and lit candles (apparently a custom here but I never knew about that).

It was upsetting – but my eyes only watered. My mum was the type of person who, I think, wouldn’t have wanted scenes and crying. Of course your mum passing away is traumatic at any age and grieving if vital. But people have different ways to grieve – what worries me more is that my dad is really down, and does not show much interest in anything, which is his way of grieving.

After getting back home from the cemetery we had a nice lunch to celebrate my mum’s life.

Firewalker

7 August 2010

Little boy has been having the time of his life here. We are in a small town, with apartment blocks forming rectangles which are safe places for children to play. So, large groups of children of different ages form and they spend outside playing most of the day – well, not between 12 and about 4 p.m. but during this time nobody is out anyway. Little boy and his little cousin have become a part of such a group – which is good for variety of reasons. One of these is language – little boy’s Bulgarian is coming rapidly. Another one is independence – he is so proud that he can just go out and come back 4 hours later.

Today we also did our washing; we put the clothes in the washing machine and soon after it became clear that something hard has been left in – a stone. Apparently, little boy took the stone from my mum’s grave – which I found touching and we are bringing this stone back.

There is no internet here and we have not tried to find an internet cafe. My withdrawal symptoms have all but disappeared; or may be they are under control until we go back to Sofia in couple of days.

Firewalker

8 August 2010

Last night I was thinking that humans cope with change much better than they think they would do. This is the very first time I am in this apartment without my Mum being around; or even for this matter my Dad – since he is here only in body but his spirit is gone, possibly forever. I was really apprehensive about that – how am I going to cope without my Mum’s laughter; her voice telling us stories; she cooking in the kitchen...But you know what? It is not that hard actually; in fact it is harder to remember what it was when she was around.

I still find it upsetting touching her things; opening the boxes where she kept letters, and pictures and her memories. When you think about it over eighty years of life, and full life at that, is easily compressed into three shoe boxes full of treasures – letters, pictures, notebooks full of recipes.

This morning we got up a bit earlier and went to visit my Dad’s cousin – he and his wife have a villa at then outskirts of the town. It was idyllic and lovely. It is a small white bungalow, immaculately clean with a garden. In the garden there were loads of flowers but also vegetables – tomatoes, cucumber, beans. But the best thing was the vine orchard – these are vines that grow high and a made to form a roof of leafs. This way the vines provide both wonderful cooling shade and tasty grapes. We sat under the vines, drinking cold drinks and talking; the boys played with the goats, the dogs, the turkeys, the rabbits and the kittens. Simple and wonderful!

The heat is draining though – OH is now next to me fast asleep.

Firewalker

Firewalker

10 August 2010

We are back in Sofia – at least two of us are. Little boy decided to stay with his Auntie, his Granddad and his little cousin. We are here and there still isn’t internet – well, not so super-duper after all.

Have done the accounts for the previous week – we very slightly over but nothing to get very excited about. OH and I will try to make it up while little boy is not with us. OH has instituted a very strict regime for me – eating fresh and raw vegetables and fruit with feta cheese, or cook vegetables fresh from the market, but nothing heavy and calorific. Most of all, I am not allowed any chocolate, chocolate or other waffles, or oriental sweets (the class of pastry with sugar syrup). Vogue, here we come – failing Vogue, I can always go for the cover of Runners World or the female version of Men’s Health (which I have seen only in the US). Joking aside, given that not much running is possible in this heath losing weight becomes really important – otherwise how am I going to finish the Lausanne marathon and in fast (for a traditionally build woman in her prime) time?

I have been writing but not as much as I would have liked to – but after all this is my holiday and my time to see my Dad (who is not doing too well and has given up life and living) and generally family, including the immediate family. Also I really need internet because I need to check things about the book – sending a new wish to the Universe here.

Firewalker

Firewalker

I am proud to announce that we have done it - we just made £6.50 into £65.73. Don’t even ask – you will have to trust me on this one, it is completely legal. It is not much, but it shows that it can be done – also that if there is a similar opportunity and the £65.73 (plus the £50.85 which is the rest of the £1.85 per day for August) can be similarly used during the next month or so one could realistically end up with £1,221.30 at the end of September. This needs spotting a really good opportunity, though – but the Universe is plentiful and it provides.

This morning I woke up early after very little sleep – went to sleep after 2 a.m. local time and got up at 8.09 a.m. After that went to the shady bit of forest nearby to do my training – today it was circuits. When I got back it was like I have taken a shower – with my clothes on. In brief today here was like hell’s kitchen again.

We have also been receiving regular phone calls (at short intervals) from Little Boy. I suppose he is discovering that wanting to be gown up and independent and being grown up and independent are very different things. But then we miss him terribly as well.

Work-wise, I did print all that I have written – an impressive wodge of paper. So I have written quite a bit but the whole thing needs shaping and focus. There is something that is not right yet – but all should wait for its turn. My intention is to start shaping from tomorrow – and of course writing more words and doing more research (now that we have internet). Need to develop some tests, games and stuff...

There has been a slight deviation from the strict regime of tomatoes and feta cheese – tonight the menu is chicken risotto (but because we are in the country of vegetables I have also put in some red pepper and onions) and mouth watering, juicy and sweet watermelon. The good news is that today is my third day without any refined sugars – only sugar that comes from fruit (mainly peaches which is reputedly much better than grapes).

I am refining the ten steps separating an idea and its realisation. This will need much more work but I suspect that tomorrow might try and write some more on this.

Firewalker

boredofbeingathome

Sofia is a lovely place-hope the weather is not too draining for you when you are running. Have a restful time, and hope your father is ok Firewalker.

Firewalker

Yesterday I met an old friend and colleague of mine for coffee. She is quite a bit older than me and I did meet her occasionally when I was an academic here. Then, in mid-1990s she was a visiting scholar at the University of Edinburgh for about six months – while there she came down with her son who was a teenager. Imagine when I received a message from her couple of years ago saying that her son had a fatal accident. He was doing a PhD in Canada, getting ready to be married and crashed on a motorbike – killed instantly. My friend did not even know he had a motorbike.

I was rather apprehensive about meeting her – it is difficult to know what to say and do in such situations. We had lovely time gossiping about people I still remember but never see. From time to time my friend was smiling through tears.

Now, let me begin setting out the ten steps separating an idea from its realisation. But before I move onto this, let me specify that if we see this process as a creative one, we have to clearly separate three phases. These are: the pre-idea phase; the idea phase and the practical phase. I believe that these three phases apply to all human action regardless of its nature and complexity. In other words, it is not important whether one is writing a book, starting a business, or renovating their house – the three phases apply. The same is valid about the ten stages spanning the ‘idea’ and the ‘practical’ phases.

I find fascinating the pre-idea phase although this is the one that I am not going to discuss in much more detail. Most people would see this as the phase where hardly anything happens, or at which no effort, conscious or otherwise, is necessary. I believe that this is probably the most important stage – this is when we prepare ourselves, or sensitise ourselves. Ideas do not come from nothingness – creative ideas are the meeting points between meticulous preparation and free imagination. It seems to me that this is the phase at which one needs to develop confidence, belief, desire and will. This is what the positive thinking and messages of The Secret are about.

Will continue tomorrow – we are going for a walk now. I spent most of the day reading (finished The Lost Symbol) but I am also coming down with a cold – have a sore throat and feel tired. A bit of fresh air will probably do me good.

Firewalker

Firewalker

Bulgarians are not very good Christians; in fact this is probably an understatement – Bulgarians have never had a very clear notion of God or respect for the Church. Bogomilism started here, remember?

Still today, August 15, is a big holiday here – celebrated by all. It also happens to be my sister’s birthday so celebrating came naturally to us. Little Boy is also on his way back to Sofia – he is spending the night in the mountains with my niece and her son (who is a year younger than Little Boy but who needs simple families anyway).

As planned, today I did write the proper introduction to the book – and I am rather pleased with it. I think that I finally found of the voice – authority without being patronising, humour without being !!!!!!!ising. Tomorrow shall go on...

Now about the ten steps between an idea and its realisation and more specifically about what I believe are the four steps of the ‘idea’ phase. I believe these to be: the idea, the dream, the plan and the strategy. Idea is the spark of inspiration that fleetingly passes through your head. This, important as it is, is insufficient – each of us has extremely large number of ideas (or thoughts) every hour. I believe, one should look for recurring ideas, the ideas that just won’t let be, ideas that are focused. After identifying such ideas one should expand them and shape them as dreams.

Dreams are considerably more developed than ideas – if ideas are a snapshot, dreams are a movie. Dreams have detail, colour, taste, feeling, perspective. Different techniques can be used to shape a dream but I intent to try the one suggested by Walt Disney. Namely, unleash the ‘Dreamer’ in me and let it work uninterrupted for no fewer than 10 minutes. It is very important to keep the Realist and the Critic out while the Dreamer is doing his work.

Will continue tomorrow – it is getting late here and the heat is really exhausting.

Firewalker

savingwannabe

Firewalker well done on the introduction to your book. I have just read about the reason you went to Bulgaria, i am sorry about your mother and your father who is coping with this.

Thank you so much for your kindness to me yesterday. It meant a tremendous amount. Bless you.

Lara44

Firewalker wrote: »

Hi Lara and welcome! I did read your posts on Memorygirl's thread. Doing a PhD is an incredible journey - enjoy. It seems hard at the time but when you think about it it is the last time for the next 15 years or so when you can do exactly what you are passionate about in research. It is time to be treasured. What is you PhD in?

Firewalker

Hi Firewalker

Glad you have found internet in Sofia as I was missing your daily note My PhD is is sociology, and I am studying mobile phone repair businesses in Kampala, Uganda. I leave for 8 months fieldwork in October. It is the biggest challenge I have ever set myself but I am enjoying it. I feel I am changing so much and it's good. I'm going to miss my fiancee a lot but we have worked hard arranging our real lives to accommodate the dreams of two big dreamers! So I am hoping it will work out okay.

It's lovely to hear about your family - I hope your Dad is well and that there are lots of wonderful memories of your Mum surrounding you there.

Firewalker

When is Little Boy going to be back? This morning my niece said that they will be travelling in the afternoon – the afternoon is now. It seems I am getting a bit impatient to see him and give him a tight and hot hug.

I decided that today I’ll devote to reading Napoleon Hill’s book – and this is what I have been doing. I find that it mostly makes sense but also that there are some interesting questions that one should ask. For instance, can we assume that anyone can do, and achieve anything? Could I be a concert pianist? Doubt it! Can I become a fashion model? Would like to think that the answer is ‘yes’ but again have some serious doubts. So the question is: how do we distinguish between dreams and ideas that can become reality and the ones that are delusions? Does our mind know what is within our innate ability so develop passion for things we can achieve?

Now back to the ten steps. Once the dream has been shaped it is time to let the Realist in and transform it into a plan. It is important to remember that the Realist should ask the question ‘what are the conditions under which this dream can become reality’ and not ‘could this dream become a reality’. Main questions here are: What do I want to achieve? By when, I will achieve this? How am I going to achieve this? My guess is that one will need to move between these questions a number of times. It is also important that the Realist comes up with a range of possibilities. Hence, the complete plan is in effect a map – a map for achieving the dream and realising the idea.

Going beyond the customary understanding of a plan and including different options is to aid the creativity in the process of implementation of an idea. If the plan is a map, the more creative the routes are the more interesting and potentially rewarding the journey will be. We should remember, however, that there will be many routes that will lead into a blind alley – in fact, it is likely that most routes will do. Planning should be flexible and the true skill is to discover the few routes that are most parsimonious – in other words they yield maximum return for minimum effort.

The next step is developing the strategy – but this is for next time.

When is Little Boy going to be home?

Firewalker